Criminal Sentence 585: Books for Childrens

I wasn't planning to do a double dose of punctuation mayhem today, but I just visited a blog where I saw an unforgivable (at least in my universe) error. The writer asks, "What is the best childrens book of all time?"

I would say the children's version of Eats Shoots and Leaves, an amusing book about CORRECT PUNCTUATION!!! Eats, Shoots & Leaves: Why, Commas Really Do Make a Difference!

Criminal Sentence 584: I'm Going to "Rest" Now

I know that the word "restroom" is a euphemism "bathroom." No one really rests there; we do other business. Although we sometimes use quotation marks if we're being sarcastic (e.g., I just "love" sausages [hate 'em]), no quotation marks are necessary here.

I would like to peer into the brains of people who like to add quotation marks "here and there."

Criminal Sentence 583: Bowling for Apostrophes

I'm not fond of this gutter ball from the bowling alley. When I mentioned it to the cashier, he didn't bite my head off. Victory!

Poll Results 145

Here was the question:

What's wrong here? "Amy Winehouse was in the process of adopting a girl from St Lucia, it has been reported."

Punctuation	33 (41%)
Spelling	2 (2%)
Grammar	39 (48%)
Nothing	6 (7%)

Hm. A little teeny period is missing in "St," an abbreviation of "Saint." That's it as far as I can tell!

New Grammar Girl Episode: Compound Subjects

Check this out! I go into greater detail about CS 513 and 519.

Criminal Sentence 582: Juvenile Dad

Heard on a TV show (a father was talking about discovering his daughter's blindness):

"At three months old, I began to notice something."

Now that's a young father! "At three months old, I ..." The "I" of this sentence (the father, who is speaking) is not that age!

A better way:

"I began to notice something when she was three months old."

Criminal Sentence 581: Not So Criminal, Perhaps?

From a blog post on an agent's blog:

"You need to get used to the idea that people will use your words either intentionally or un."

Technically, you can't just stick in a prefix and use it as a whole word. That said, I kind of like this illegal prefix at the end. You?

Poll Results 144

This was the question:

What's wrong with this, seen on a sign at a baseball game? "Put me in coach."

Nothing	3 (5%)
Word choice	3 (5%)
Punctuation	46 (79%)
More than one of these	6 (10%)

I laughed when I saw this sign, so "Nothing" is definitely wrong.

Consider "Put me in coach" and "Put me in first class." Without the comma, the sentence seems to refer to airplane seating.

Yes, you guessed it: A comma is missing, because the sign writer was addressing the baseball coach and requesting to be put into the game.

"Put me in, coach" is correct. Here's another example of this comma, called a comma of address:

"Give me a dollar, coach."

Criminal Sentence 580: Jumbo Boo-Boo

From the jumbo screen at the baseball park:

"the Rockie's"

Does anyone root for the Colorado Rockie or is it the Rockies? :)

Poll Results 143

Here was the question:

What's wrong here? "In addition to eating calcium-rich foods, she also takes daily calcium pills."

Nothing	14 (32%)
Punctuation	4 (9%)
Grammar	9 (20%)
Wordiness	16 (37%)

Well, I agree with 37% of you. It's wordy because you don't need "In addition" and "also" in one sentence. Just one gives off the impression of plurality.

Criminal Sentence 579: Run-on Question

From a baseball Q&A in today's paper:

"Last year you were in the All-Star Game, do you rather participate in it or relax during the break?"

I'll bet that when the reporter asked the player this question, the journalist paused for a few beats after saying, "All-Star Game." That's because this is the end of a sentence, and it needs a period; this first part is just a statement. The question actually begins with the "Do you" part. Here's the correct punctuation:

"Last year you were in the All-Star Game. Do you rather participate in it or relax during the break?"

I guess I won't comment on the oddness of "Do you rather participate." "Do you prefer participating ... relaxing ..." would be better, don't you think?

Criminal Sentence 578: Help Me, Verb. Help, Help Me, Verb.

From today's paper:

"Maybe older people have more experience and been burned a few more times."

This sentence made me sing that old Beach Boys song "Help Me, Rhonda," though I substituted the word "verb" for the lady's name. An additional helping verb, otherwise known as an auxiliary verb, would be very helpful in this sentence.

The original is not wrong, but it made me do a double take when I got to "been." I was expecting another present tense verb: "have more experience and do such and such," for example. Just add another "have" and we're set:

"Maybe older people have more experience and HAVE been burned a few more times."

Criminal Sentence 577: Bad News

From a Facebook post ( FB is a gold mine!):

"That's great new's."

Cringe!

Poll Results 142

Here was the question:

What is wrong here (from a book on 18th-century medicine)? "Not only could hospital surgeons earn fees from teaching apprentices and house pupils; their private practice benefited from their leap in status."

Nothing	2 (4%)
Punctuation	27 (60%)
Spelling	0 (0%)
Grammar	16 (35%)

Congratulations to 60% of you. The semicolon in the middle of the sentence should be a comma. One use of semicolons is to separate two complete sentences, but the "not only" part is not a sentence.

Criminal Sentence 576: Now That's Dumb!

A reader's comment about an article on results of a standardized writing test:

"We always knew the west side was dumber then dirt..."

Who's the dumb one here, dear commenter?

("Then" should be "than.")

Criminal Sentence 575: Competing for Spelling Champion of the World

From today's paper (about what to expect in the second half of the baseball season):

"Starting pitchers have collected 11 compete games..."

I hope the pitchers compete while they compLete games!

P.S. This is an example of why Spell Check doesn't wok--I mean, work!

Criminal Sentence 574: A Personal Adverb

A quote from All-Star MVP Prince Fielder:

“I didn’t take it too personal.”

Great at hitting home runs. Not so great at adding that "ly," which would turn "personal" into "personally."

I won't take it personally.

Criminal Sentence 573: Alrighty Then

A text I received:

"Alrighty"

Good for texting. Not good for real writing. "All right" would be correct.

Poll Results 141

Here was the question:

What's wrong with this sentence? "The most interesting third person narratives jump into character's heads to show their thought processes."

Verb problem(s)	2 (2%)
Punctuation problem(s)	35 (46%)
Grammar problem(s)	18 (23%)
More than one of these problems.	21 (27%)

Congrats to 46% of you. The main error is that "character's" should be "characters'," since you are talking about more than one character. A minor error is another punctuation problem, a missing hyphen in "third-person narratives."

Nice Recommendation of "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier"

Check out this article that recommends my book! It's reviewed in the last paragraph under "Grammar and Writing."

Criminal Sentence 572: Word Order Crime

A caption from today's paper:

"Casey Anthony will be freed July 17 after she was acquitted of first-degree murder."

Someone needs to be arrested for this sentence! I had to read it several times because it was so weird. Let's banish the word "after":

"Casey Anthony, who was acquitted of first-degree murder, will be freed July 17."

Criminal Sentence 571: Clothing at the Airport?

A sign (at an airport) shown on the cartoon my son is watching:

"Hanger 25"

Although I'm not following the plot, I'm pretty sure it was supposed to say "Hangar 25."

A hanger goes with clothes but a hangar goes with airplanes!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Criminal Sentence 570: Repetitive Fruit

From a grocery ad:

"Sale on cantaloupe melons"

As opposed to cantaloupe cucumbers?

The word "melons" seems unnecessary here. The only reason to use the word "melons" seems to be to explain what kind of fruit a cantaloupe is. Anyone other than ESL students not know this?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Criminal Sentence 569: Stationary Equals Non-Moving

Fuzzy spelling here. Those items that you write letters on are called stationery ("letters" contains the letter "e," as does the word "stationery"). "Stationery" is a noun. "Stationary," on the other hand, is an adjective that means not moving, as in a stationary bicycle.

Criminal Sentence 568: From and To

From a blog post:

"The event draws anywhere from 90-150 people."

Of course we understand this sentence, but since I'm picky, I need to say something about it!

If you have a "from," then you need a "to":

"The event draws anywhere from 90 to 150 people."

Another option is just a hyphen:

"The event draws 90-150 people."

You get to choose which one you like, but you can't mix them as in "from 90-150."

Criminal Sentence 567: Those "That" Clauses Are Causing Trouble

From an online Q&A with an agent:

"What's something you've sold that comes out soon that you're excited about?"

This sentence piles on the "that" clauses: two are easy to see but one is hiding.

The obvious ones are "that comes out soon" and "that you're excited about." The hidden one is "you've sold" (just add an imaginary "that" before it: "...something that you've sold...").

You can't have three clauses modifying one noun/pronoun, "something" in this case.

It's an awkward mouthful, so let's rewrite it:

"Which of your recent sales comes out soon and makes you excited about its debut?"

This isn't perfect so if anyone wants to try, please go ahead!

Criminal Sentence 566: Alot of Incorrectness

From a message I received:

"I need alot of help."

Yep. You need A LOT of help! Two words, my dear!

Poll Results 140

Here was the question:

What's wrong with this sentence? "He was brown haired, clean shaven, and had an engaging smile."

One or more hyphens is missing.	27 (42%)
A comma is incorrect.	10 (15%)
A word is missing.	10 (15%)
Nothing is wrong.	16 (25%)

Congratulations to 15% of you. The word "was" is missing before "clean shaven." This keeps the sentence parallel: verb, verb, verb ("was," "was," "had").

No hyphens are required because the adjectives come after the verb. They would be necessary if they came before the verb (e.g., The brown-haired, clean-shaven man was cute).

No comma error, either.

Criminal Sentence 565: Wanted: Insect Experience

From a job description online:

"1-3 moth experience required"

It might be hard for this company to find someone with this specific experience!

Criminal Sentence 564: Questionable Punctuation

From a Web site:

"I don't think your question is premature at all, but very relevant."

I don't think this punctuation is optimal. I kinda think a semicolon would be good, if we reword the end:

"I don't think your question is premature at all; rather, it's very relevant."

A comma in the original sentence makes the sentence too run of the mill, in my opinion. The semicolon in the rewrite adds emphasis to the fact that the question is relevant.

Criminal Sentence 563: Comma Hibernation

We have a pet bearded dragon, and my son wanted to know if it will hibernate. We learned this from the Internet:

"Dragon hibernation, which we call brumation is a semi-dormant state they may have for a few weeks to a few months, but only in winter."

The clause "which we call brumation" needs a closing comma. It is extra information, as discussed in this post.

So, the sentence should read "Dragon hibernation, which we call brumation, is ..."

Time to feed our dragon some crickets!

Poll Results 139

Here was the question:

What's wrong with this? [Narrator thinks to self about baby names] "I like Emma. And Ella. And Hannah." [Second character says] "Does every baby name have to be a palindrome?"

Grammar	21 (44%)
Spelling	3 (6%)
Word use	15 (31%)
Nothing	8 (17%)

Congratulations to 31% of you. The source of the error is the word "palindrome," a word that is spelled the same both forwards and backwards. "Hannah" is an example, but "Emma" and "Ella" are not palindromes.

Criminal Sentence 562: College Error

From a Web site:

"I'm an alumni."

We don't speak or write much Latin these days, but this is a Latin error. It's the equivalent of saying "I'm a people."

"Alumni" is the masculine plural. The feminine plural is "alumnae." The singular words are "alumnus" (male) and "alumna" (female).

Criminal Sentence 561: Your OWN Typo

I was watching a show on OWN, and this typo flashed on the screen! My heart rate skyocketed (I mean, skyrocketed)!

Poll Results 138

Here was the question:

This is part of the first sentence of a middle grade novel: "Each type of substitute teacher had its own special weakness…" Your opinion?

I want to read more because this really grabs me.	1 (2%)
I need to read more to see if I want to give this book a chance.	14 (33%)
I do not want to read more because this sentence is awful.	27 (64%)

Seems that few people like this beginning. The "its" threw me the most.

Criminal Sentence 560: An Apostrophe in Paris

From a review of Woody Allen's latest film, "Midnight in Paris" (which I liked):

"...its a bit thin and glib to call a masterpiece, but it's still a delicious trifle..."

Which its/it's is incorrect, apostrophe and film buffs?

Criminal Sentence 559: A State of Repetition

Heard on the Diamondbacks' broadcast last night:

"He's from Bremerton, Washington, in the State of Washington."

Thanks for clearing that up!

Criminal Sentence 558: Questionable Age

From a blog post:

"Seventeen years old Andra’s life is full."

This sentence is not a good way to start a query letter!

When you have multiple words that combine to describe a noun (called a compound adjective), you need to add hyphens to join them up together. So it would need to be "Seventeen-year-old Andra." But this sentence has too many words describing "life," so we need to rearrange it. One option is this:

"The life of seventeen-year-old Andra is full."

That's not so wonderful. How about this:

"Seventeen-year-old Andra has a full life."

Poll Results 137

Here was the question:

What is wrong with this headline? "Terrifying videos emerge of deadly tornado"

Absolutely nothing!	12 (16%)
Word order	46 (61%)
Noun choice	2 (2%)
Adjective choice	3 (4%)
Verb choice	12 (16%)

Well, I take issue with the word order. The prepositional phrase "of deadly tornado" goes with "videos," but it is next to "emerge." It would be much better to write "Terrifying videos of deadly tornado emerge"

Ah. That word order is no longer terrifying!

Reader Question

Kurt asks this:

Is this a bad sentence?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-13603149

"A pilot's final words before his doomed private jet plunged into a house in Kent have been replayed at an inquest into the deaths of its five occupants."

Well, it's grammatically correct, at least. The phrase "before his doomed private jet plunged into a house in Kent" separates the noun "words" with the verb "have been replayed."

As far as is it bad, you could argue that it's long and slightly awkward. Perhaps breaking it up into two sentences would be good.

Anyone want to try?

Poll Results 136

Here was the question:

Which word is used incorrectly here? "While I spent over two years querying agents and small presses, my manuscript laid dormant."

"While"	4 (5%)
"Over"	3 (4%)
"Laid"	46 (65%)
More than one is incorrect.	9 (12%)
The sentence is just fine as is.	8 (11%)

The pesky verb "to lie" is the source of the error here. The simple past tense of "to lie" is "lay"; the past participle of "to lie" is "laid."

Poll Results 135

Here was the question:

Which is correct?

It's a matter of principle. 3 (4%)
There was no way to tell what organizational principal was at work. 0 (0%)
The principal was mad. 1 (1%)
The principle on my loan is $100,000. 0 (0%)
More than one is correct. 61 (91%)
No answer is correct. 2 (2%)

Guess that was too easy!

Criminal Sentence 557: Listening to Yourself Make a Mistake

From today's Sports section (in an article about a struggling baseball player who had a key hit):

"...when listening to him talk, he doesn't seem to have lost much confidence."

Someone has lost his sense of grammar!

The problem lies in the word "listening." The "he" of the sentence--the baseball player--is not the one listening, so we need to specify:

"...when I listen to him talk, he doesn't seem to have lost much confidence."

Reader Question: "More Than One"

Irfan has a good question:

The problem that I am having concerns the use of 'More than a certain value' and then the use of the appropriate form of the verb to be; in case of the latest poll, the statement would be: More than one is correct.

According to my understanding, More than one translates into, or should translate into, at least two and possibly more; now if that interpretation of the phrase before the auxiliary is correct, then how can we justify the use of 'is' instead of 'are' as the correct form of the verb.

Sentence Sleuth here:
According to Bryan Garner ("Garner's Modern American Usage," p. 779), "The phrase 'more than one' generally takes a singular verb, not a plural one ... even though the sense is undeniably plural."

Garner goes on to explain some nuances, but the bottom line is that you use a singular verb.

Reader Question: "Embiggen"

From Chad:

I keep seeing the word "embiggen" on tech blogs that I read (example below). I can't find it in the dictionary. Should I chalk it up to writing style or call the cops (or, more appropriately, the dict-tectives)? I humbly submit "embiggen" for your rogue's gallery (unless I've got it all wrong).

Here's a reference.

http://www.maclife.com/article/gallery/gallery_samsung_galaxy_101_and_ipad_2_side_side

"While you were at home wondering how to get into one of those Oprah Winfrey-style Google keynotes where electronics are given out like Halloween candy, one of our developers was in the audience playing with his new Special Edition Google IO Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1.

Yeah, that's a mouthful.

We stole borrowed the Galaxy and forced it to take pictures with our Wi-Fi+3G iPad 2.

Check out the photos in the gallery below. You can click on any photo to embiggen."

Sentence Sleuth here:

I personally have never heard that word before (if it even is a word). My vote? Not a word! Yours?

Criminal Sentence 556: Why Deny Correct Punctuation?

From a book I'm reading:

"It was that secretive quality that drew her to him in the first place, why deny it?"

This is an example of two sentences smushed into one.

Sentence 1: "It was that secretive quality that drew her to him in the first place."
Sentence 2: "Why deny it?"

You can't just put a comma wherever you want, there are things called periods, they separate sentences. (Ooh, that was painful--using incorrect punctuation!!)

Poll Results 134

Here was the question:

Is this right? "The CIA and Pakistan's spy agency, known by the acronym ISI, have worked uneasily together."

Yes.	45 (36%)
No.	57 (45%)
It's possible.	22 (17%)

At issue is how you pronounce "ISI." If it's "ee-see," then ISI would be considered an acronym, which is "a word formed from the initial letters or groups of letters or groups of letters of words in a set phrase or series of words" (dictionary.com). If you say each letter individually, and not as a word, as in "I-S-I," then it would be considered an initialism, "a set of initials representing a name, organization, or the like, with each letter pronounced separately, as FBI for Federal Bureau of Investigation" (dictionary.com).

I think the "It's possible" answer is correct, because I'm not sure if ISI is an initialism or an acronym (I don't know how it's pronounced). One problem with my answer is that dictionary.com, in definition 1 of 2, lists "an acronym" as a definition of initialism, so perhaps they are interchangeable.

Here's Grammar Girl's take on the issue.

Criminal Sentence 555: Weird Library

I wonder if they have a dictionary at this "Experess" library...

Criminal Sentence 554: Palate or Palette

Seen on a TV commercial for a lawyer's office:

"Cleft palette"

Is this a new disease that painters get? No, a sad birth defect: cleft palate. Your palate is in your mouth; your painter's palette is in your hand.

Criminal Sentence 553: Don't Be Cheap

From a Web site:

"Prices in many areas are now cheap."

This isn't quite right. Products are cheap or expensive, but prices are high or low.

Criminal Sentence 552: Giving Birth to Good Spelling

From a book I'm reading:

"She had even born her lover twins."

"To bear" is a weird verb (I mean, irregular). Here are the tenses/forms:

I/you/they/we bear children.
He/she/it bears children.
I bore two children.
I have borne several children.

Poll Results 133

Here was the question:

Is this correct? "As strawberries grow and ripen, they turn from green to white to red--just like the Italian flag!"

Yes	36 (48%)
No	38 (51%)

I'm with the 51%. This comparison doesn't quite work. I don't think the Italian flag turns from green to white to red. Anyone want to rewrite it?

Criminal Sentence 551: Bad Lump

Seen on a TV ad:

"... get a lumpsum."

That sounds to me like an odd disease. Doc, help! I have an unidentified lumpsum on my neck!

Just me being weird, I guess.

(Of course, it should be two words: "lump sum.")

Criminal Sentence 550: Icky Colon

Wording of a very interesting (sarcasm) ad seen on TV (for the product "Colon Flow"):

"Without normal bowel movements, toxins can cause..."

I know this is icky, but the grammar is icky, too.

This is a classic misplaced modifier. "Toxins" are not having number 2's!

"If you don't have normal ... , toxins..."

Ah, relief.

Criminal Sentence 549: Inferior Size

From a book I read (said by one character to the other):

"We were renting a place, down in Castello. Forty-one square meters..."

No problem there. The problem came in something in the next paragraph:

"...a forty-one-meter apartment..."

Now that's small!

Criminal Sentence 548: Nonsensical Nonsense

An IM I received while playing an obviously younger player at online Scrabble:

"Aye you play me harder then a fat kid playing xbox or ps3 dang lol."

I never would have thought to compliment another player that way.

Poll Results 132

Here was the question:

Is there something wrong with this? "I grit my teeth and punched the wall again, hammering it over and over until my hand throbbed red."

Yes	57 (82%)
No	12 (17%)

Congratulations to 82% of you. The entire sentence is past tense, so "grit" should be "gritted."

New Grammar Girl Episode: A Hold or Ahold

Check it out!

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/one-word-or-two.aspx

Criminal Sentence 547: Dawwg Gramma

Something Randy Jackson said on "American Idol" last night:

"You sung..."

Yo, yo. Don't you mean "sang"?

I know he's a musician, not a grammarian, but I've recently heard a number of people using past participles instead of past tense. A common one you might have heard before: "I seen it."

Many times, the past participle is the same as the past-tense form (e.g., "I looked"/"I have looked")--but not always!

Criminal Sentence 546: Two instead of Five

From something I'm editing:

"Two years prior to 1996..."

As far as wordiness goes, this is rather wordy!

How about this:

"In 1994..."

Criminal Sentence 545: Perpendicular, Not Parallel

From something I read:

"One spoke about religion, another about politics, and the last taught math in school."

There's something non-parallel here. Let's put everything in order:

"One spoke about religion, another discussed politics, and the last taught math in school."

Poll Results 131

Here was the question:

What do you first think when you read this headline? "Falling rolls force schools to be creative"

School enrollment	13 (20%)
Pieces of bread falling from the sky	40 (61%)
Neither	12 (18%)

I'm with the 61%. Thanks, Arizona Republic!

Criminal Sentence 544: Aaah!

From a book I'm reading:

"You're dad told you about me, right?"

I'm definitely complaining to "you're" dad! He--"your" dad--will be very upset to see you misuse this word!

Criminal Sentence 543: I Question That!

From something I'm editing:

"A deluge of questions fill the air."

I'm embarrassed to say that I missed this error on my first pass (but not the second, luckily). Did you catch the error?

Criminal Sentence 542: Confused "It's"

It's kind of embarrassing for my children's school, isn't it, that the "it's" should be "its"?

Criminal Sentence 541: Putting Your Cough to Bed

From a book I read:

"Now bedridden, his cough grew worse."

Poor little cough, sitting in bed! Let's help it feel better:

"He was now bedridden, and his cough grew worse."

Poll Results 130

Here was the question:

Which is correct?

Let's hang here awhile.	1 (1%)
Your paycheck barely covers the bills.	5 (6%)
Put on your name tag.	4 (4%)
She went into a tail spin.	3 (3%)
Her hair was in a ponytail.	5 (6%)
None of the answers.	4 (4%)
More than one answer.	60 (73%)

Congrats to 73%. Only "tail spin" is incorrect. It should be "tailspin."

I would also like to say that I'm a doo-fus. Wait a minute. That should be "doofus." In my original explanation, I failed to note that "awhile" is a valid adverb and an alternate spelling of "nametag" is "name tag."
Sorry if there was any confusion.

Criminal Sentence 540: Chicken House or a Political Overthrow?

From something I edited:

"She flew the coup with some lucky man."

A coup, as in a coup d'etat, is what happens when a government is overthrown--not happening in this sentence!
A coop is a place where chickens live, and it's paired with the verb "to fly" to mean to leave.

Criminal Sentence 539: Shoe Shopping

From something I'm editing:

"You, my friend, are a shoe in."

Are you calling me a shoe? Ha!

That should be "shoo-in."

Criminal Sentence 538: Along Comes a Dictionary!

From something I'm editing:

"A little kindness goes along way."

"Along" with no space is a preposition or an adverb, as in "I ran along the path."

With a space, "a long" pairs up with a noun and describes the length of something, as in "I walked a long way."

Move along to the dictionary, please!

Poll Results 129

Here was the question:

Which phrase is correct?

I was chomping at the bit.	16 (19%)
She whiled away some time.	10 (12%)
He flouted his wealth.	7 (8%)
None of the choices	14 (17%)
More than one of the choices	35 (42%)

Congrats to 12% of you.

The first sentence is incorrect because "champing at the bit" is the correct phrase.
The second sentence is correct because "to while away time" is correct.
The third sentence is incorrect because the correct verb is "to flaunt," not "to flout."

Criminal Sentence 537: Heal Thy Spelling Error

From something I'm editing:

"...dig their heals in deep..."

Someone's in deep!

That should be "heels," those things by your feet, not the verb "to heal," which means to get better.

If your heels hurt, get them healed!

New Grammar Girl Episode: Commas with Participial Phrases

Check this out!

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/participial-phrases-nonrestrictive-clauses.aspx

Criminal Sentence 536: Repeating Your Repetition

From something I'm editing:

"...an icy cold body of water"

As opposed to "an icy warm body of water"?

Let's just pick one and avoid and avoid repetition:

"...an icy body of water"

or

"...a cold body of water"

Criminal Sentence 535: "One" for the Road

Today, I wanted to talk about using the pronoun "one," as in "It gives one hope that tomorrow will be better."

There's nothing wrong with using "one," but it does sound rather formal.

I would go with "you" if you're talking in general terms:

"It gives you hope that tomorrow will be better."

You can send "one" packing!

Criminal Sentence 534: Definitely Crazy

From something I'm editing:

"...before I checked myself into a bonified nuthouse."

I need to Bonnie-fy that spelling: "bona fide."

Poll Results 128

Here was the question:

Which is correct?
A) How long have you known Sam?
B) How long have you known, Sam?

A	28 (28%)
B	0 (0%)
Neither A nor B	1 (1%)
Both could be correct.	71 (71%)

Congrats to 71% of you.
You would say A when you are asking how long someone has known an individual named Sam.
You would say B when you are asking Sam how long he has known something.

Criminal Sentence 533: Let's Not

From something I'm editing:

"He let's his experience in the legal system speak for itself."

Oops!

If you spell out contractions, you can sometimes catch yourself making a boo-boo:

"He let us his experience..."

That doesn't work.

"He lets..."

Ah.

Criminal Sentence 532: Conscious vs. Conscience

From something I'm editing:

"He was haunted, as most people with a conscious would be."

A common word to get confused.

"Conscious" is an adjective that means awake; "conscience" is a noun that means the sense of right and wrong. I remember which is which by remembering that "science" is a noun, and "conscience" is a noun.

Criminal Sentence 531: A Man in Lingerie

From a book I'm reading:

"Dressed only in a t-shirt and panties, he then dragged her to his car."

I did a double take on that one.

Let's fix it:

"Dressed only in a t-shirt and panties, she was then dragged to his car."

I don't usually advocate using passive, but this seems to me the best way to fix it so there's no suggestion he was wearing panties.

Criminal Sentence 530: Dirty Deed

Reported in today's paper (Mariah Carey tweet):

"happy anniversary in deed"

I know that tweets are not rigorously put through a grammar checker (sigh), but she used one extra space there! The horror!

"Indeed" is one word--indeed!--unless you're saying something like "in thought, word and deed."

Poll Results 127

Here was the question:

"Do you get peeved when you read an error printed in a book by an NYT bestseller?"

Yes	27 (87%)
No	4 (12%)

Picky, aren't we?

Criminal Sentence 529: InAppRopriate Speling

From an app I use to post remotely:

"Lables"

Yes, "able" and "label" rhyme, but one is "le" and the other is "el."

Criminal Sentence 528: Alter-nate Reality

From something I'm editing:

"Instead of praying at the alter of most parishes, synagogues, or chapels, these hellions prayed at the foot of the porcelain alter."

I would alter that spelling (altar)!

Criminal Sentence 527: Go North

From a book I read:

"His weakened state was understandable given the hours he had spent crafting the bill and incorporating her edits, to say northing of the stress of working to elevate her to the presidency."

I have northing to say about this.

Criminal Sentence 526: Weepy Breakfast

From a book I finished:

"...what he's had for breakfast every morning for the last ten tears."

How could this have fallen through? I cry at least ten tears!

Poll Results 126

Here was the obviously too easy question:

Which is correct?

Your too old.	1 (1%)
Who's is that?	1 (1%)
Mom gave it to him and I.	3 (3%)
None of the above.	79 (94%)

94% of you are geniuses!

Criminal Sentence 526: Triple Threat

A ghastly sign in NYC.

Criminal Sentence 525: Punctuating Speech

From a book I'm reading:

"'We've landed at Garden City Regional, ready for phase two,' he said."

Ready for a period also?

Just because it's casual speech doesn't mean you can dispense with punctuation. Let's fix it:

"'We've landed at Garden City Regional. Ready for phase two,' he said."

Criminal Sentence 524: Stung

I was looking up info on honey, and found these two sentences:
"The knowledge that bee venom possesses medicinal properties has come down to us from remote antiquity. Written evidence, as well as the observations of many beekeepers and our own long experience, confirm the effectiveness of been venom in the treatment of rheumatic fever, neuritis and some other diseases."

Anyone want to tell me what two errors there are? One is obvious. One is less so.

Great Find by a Reader

Courtesy of Alan.

Double cringe!

Poll Results 125

Here was the question:

Which one is correct?

She peddled her bike to the market.	10 (10%)
She peddled her bike at the market.	3 (3%)
She pedaled her bike to the market.	29 (29%)
She pedaled her bike at the market.	2 (2%)
Two of the above	54 (55%)

Ah, the difference between to pedal (to use feet to move a bike) and to peddle (to sell). Congrats to 55% of you. The second (sold her bike at) and third (rode her bike to) options are correct.

Criminal Sentence 523: Cue up the Dictionary

From a book I'm reading (a character tells another to get a camera ready):

"Take manual control of camera nine and queue it up."

We're looking for the verb "to cue," which in this case means "to get ready."

A queue is a line, or a long braided ponytail.

Criminal Sentence 522: Twice in Two Years

From something I read:

"The fourth witness gave two accounts in 2001 and 2004."

This sentence seems to say that the witness gave two accounts in 2001 and two accounts in 2004, whereas I think the writer meant one in each year:

"The fourth witness gave two accounts, in 2001 and 2004."

You could also use a colon:

"The fourth witness gave two accounts: in 2001 and 2004."

Or even an em dash:

"The fourth witness gave two accounts--in 2001 and 2004."

Criminal Sentence 521: Sexy Golf Game

From something I'm editing:

"There were golf pictures of foursomes."

This sentence does not evoke what the author intended!

Poll Results 124

Here was the question:

Is there an error in this two-way conversation?

A: "Do I have all of your words?"

B: "You have our word, sir."

Yes	99 (62%)
No	60 (37%)

I would have to agree with 62% of you. "To have your word" is an expression meaning to promise, and you don't pluralize it just because more than one person is promising something. A should have said, "Do I have your word, everyone?" or something similar.

National Grammar Day Contest Winner!

Drum roll ...

The entry that made me laugh the loudest was Westley's:

"Leaking badly, the sailors abandoned the ship."

I'll bet they were so afraid that they were indeed leaking!

Congrats, Westley. Please e-mail me your address so I can get you your prize (curiouscase@hotmail.com).

Thanks to everyone for entering!

Happy NG Day!

Criminal Sentence 520: I Feel Tense

From a book:

"Something truly horrible was taking place now as it did back then."

When you have two things that happened in the past and one happened earlier than the other, then you put the first item in the past perfect (e.g., "I had eaten). However, doing only that still isn't enough for this sentence:

"Something truly horrible was taking place now as it had back then."

It still sounds weird. Let's fix it a bit more:

"Something truly horrible was taking place now, just as it had back then."

Still not perfect but we can't scrap the sentence completely.

Criminal Sentence 519: Agreement Is a Priority

We had some lively discussion about CS 513, so here's another similar sentence to consider:

"Their capture and successful prosecution was the top priority."

The question, again, is this: Is this one subject or two separate subjects? To me, capture is one thing, and prosecution is another. The police do one, and the lawyers do the other. Thoughts?

Criminal Sentence 518: Fashionable Wheelchair

From a book:

"The woman in the wheelchair wearing burgundy scrubs is lovely."

That's a cool idea: dress up your wheelchair!

Poll Results 123

The question:

Are you planning to watch the Oscars?

Yes	9 (26%)
No	25 (73%)

Guess you guys don't watch movies so much. No biggie.

National Grammar Day Contest

March 4 is National Grammar Day. In honor of this momentous occasion, you can win a free copy of Grammar Girl's book.

Here's how:

In the Comments section of this post, write a sentence that contains a hilarious misplaced modifier. An example of a misplaced modifier is "Flying around the room, I saw a bird."

The deadline is midnight Pacific time on March 3. I'll decide which one is funniest, and I'll reveal the winner on March 4.

Criminal Sentence 517: The Yes-Comma Rule

From something I'm editing:

"I was not aware of, nor prepared for the unspoken no-thinking rule."

A little baby comma is missing here. Anyone want to flex their punctuation muscles?

Criminal Sentence 516: Toppling Capitalization Rules

Courtesy of CNN:

"Historic Cathedral toppled in New Zealand quake"

I am sorry to hear that Historic Cathedral fell down. Except I don't think that was its official name.

Poll Results 122

Here was the question:

Is this right? "He died, leaving behind a widow and four children."

Yes	52 (71%)
No	21 (28%)

I think this is not correct. I think it should be "He died, leaving behind a wife and four children." She became a widow after he died, right?

Those who thought it was correct: What is your thinking?

Criminal Sentence 515: A New Kind of Night Out

From something I'm editing:

"...meet the girls for whine and cheese"

Now that sounds like fun!

Criminal Sentence 514: A New Phenomenon

From a blog post:

"a phenomenan"

There's this new thing called a dictionary! Use it, please!

Criminal Sentence 513: Presidential Boo Boo

From today's paper (a quote from Obama about Bush, a Medal of Honor winner):

"His humility and his decency reflects the very best of the American spirit."

Perhaps correct subject-verb agreement deserves some recognition, too!

"His humility" and "his decency" are two things, so they "reflect," not "reflects."