Criminal Sentence 305: Not Expecting

From a book I'm reading:

"four months' pregnant"

That's clever (I mean, incorrect) apostrophe usage. It might at first seem to be similar to "four weeks' worth," which does require an apostrophe. However, if you put each of these in the singular, it's easy to tell where an apostrophe is warranted:

one month pregnant
one week's worth

You wouldn't write one month's pregnant, nor would you write one week worth.

New Grammar Girl Episode: Where versus In Which

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/where-versus-in-whichadverbs.aspx

New column at The Writer: Three Grammar Myths

Check out my new article on grammar myths.

Criminal Sentence 304: Linguists Can Write Awkwardly

I'm reading a book about the origins of English. The author is making the point that many linguists don't think that Welsh, Cornish, and Celtic had any influence on English. He, on the other hand, feels that these languages are related. The author came up with a really weird sentence as he was discussing why linguists dismiss these languages so easily:

"Frankly, another likely factor is that Irish, Welsh, and Cornish are not languages anyone is apt to become familiar with who is not of Celtic ancestry."

I had to read that a few times. Of course, all it comes down to is a misplaced modifier. The "who" clause does not modify "with." It modifies "anyone." I was surprised that a linguist would create such an odd sentence. Let's match things up:

"Frankly, another likely factor is that Irish, Welsh, and Cornish are not languages anyone who is not of Celtic ancestry is apt to become familiar with."

Grammatically okay but still hard to get (plus there are four "to be" verbs, which make the sentence wordy and dull). Let's try again:

"Frankly, linguists without Celtic ancestry are likely not familiar with Irish, Welsh, and Cornish."

I hope that is more intelligible.

Criminal Sentence 304: Helpful Comma

From something I edited:

"The bloated database was very hard to query making it difficult to identify problems."

You can't just stick in the "making" clause. Right now it's just sitting there. Let's add a helpful comma:

"The bloated database was very hard to query, making it difficult to identify problems."

Criminal Sentence 303: Who is a member?

From a brochure I got in the mail yesterday:

"As a loyal Get More Rewards member, we wanted to thank you with a few discounts to some local retailers."

Thanks, but your grammar stinks!

Who is a member? Not "we." Let's match things up better:

We wanted to thank you for being a loyal Get More Rewards member, so here are a few discounts to some local retailers.

If you wanted to keep the "As" at the beginning, it would have to be something like this:

As a loyal Get More Rewards member, you deserve some discounts.

Poll Results 61

This was the question:

What is wrong with this sentence? "He's been tracking criminals with a microscope for quite a number of years."

It's wordy. 11 (10%)
A phrase is in the wrong place. 36 (34%)
Something is spelled wrong. 0 (0%)
Two of the above. 40 (38%)
None of the above. 18 (17%)

Congrats to 38% of you. "Quite a number of years" is a wordy way of saying "many years." In addition, a phrase is in the wrong place: "with a microscope." You could interpret this sentence to mean that the criminals have a microscope, instead of the He of the sentence. It would not be ambiguous, or wordy, to say this:

"For many years, he's used a microscope to track criminals."

Criminal Sentence 302: What kind of soup is that?

On a sign at a drugstore:

"Cambell,s soup"

Sure the p is silent, but it's not absent.

And a comma is not the same as an apostrophe. See this mini-rant.

Reader Question: Welcome or Welcomed?

Here is a question from Robert:

Dear Bonnie,

Thank you so much for the extremely useful (and fun) episodes you have written for Grammar Girl. I've also found that "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier" is a must-have for anyone mindful of how to properly express themselves in writing and speaking.

I have a question for you, if I may. I trust I'm not the only one putting the "welcome vs. welcomed" question on the table, but I must admit I'm still not sure which one goes where and why. For example, in the sentence, "Your employees would be welcomed to paint alongside our volunteers," is welcomed used correctly? The meaning I'm going for is: "We would all love to have your employees paint alongside our volunteers."

Thank you so much for your help,
Robert
---------
Let's look at his sentence: "Your employees would be welcomed to paint alongside our volunteers." I have to say that I prefer his other one: "We would all love to have your employees paint alongside our volunteers." But to answer his question, "would be welcomed" is not incorrect; it is just passive voice. Some unnamed person is welcoming the employees to do something. In this case, "welcomed" is a verb.

You could say, "Your employees are welcome to paint." In this case, "welcome" is an adjective.

So the answer to the question is that you could use either "welcome" or "welcomed," depending on how you use it. Of course I generally advise against passive voice if there is a better, active way of putting your thought.

Thanks, Robert, for the question.

Criminal Sentence 301: Can tension stand?

From a book I'm reading:

"Standing before him, the colander clenched tightly before her, the tension in her face stabbed at him."

As I read this sentence, I got worried when I reached "the colander." I thought this was going to be a misplaced modifier, because "the colander" is not "standing before him." Then I realized I hadn't yet gotten to the subject of the sentence. So I relaxed. But then the stress went way up when I got to "the tension." The sentence did in fact contain a misplaced modifier. Tension cannot stand as far as I know; the "her" of the sentence is standing before him and is tense. Let's rewrite:

"As she stood before him, the colander clenched tightly before her, the tension in her face stabbed at him."

Criminal Sentence 300: Free. Free.

I redeemed my free birthday coffee today, thanks to a card I got in the mail:

"Come in for your free birthday drink. On us."

I appreciated getting a free drink but was wondering why they had to say it was free twice:

free = free
on us = free

Poll Results 60

This was the question:

Please ask a friend, co-worker or family member who doesn't read this blog: Agree or disagree? These days, the general public doesn't know much about grammar and punctuation.

Agree 55 (96%)
Disagree 2 (3%)

Sounds like a bunch of grammatical friends!

Traditional or Modern Apostrophe

Do you know how to make a singular noun that ends in s possessive?

Tennis' greatest rivalry or tennis's greatest rivalry?

Some guides tell you 's and some tell you just '. The traditional view is 's, but nowadays just an apostrophe is accepted. Do you think that's criminal or acceptable?

New column at The Writer: Avoiding Generic Words and Cliches

http://www.writermag.com/wrt/default.aspx?c=a&id=4460

When the Grammarian Doesn't Know Everything

I hate to admit it, but I do not know everything about grammar or spelling.

I was recently trying to remember how a certain expression is spelled: Is it "rack your brain" or "wrack your brain"? Hmm. I had to look it up because I didn't know. Turns out that it's "rack."

Apparently "wrack" is similar to "wreck," and appears in the set phrase "wrack and ruin."

My valuable "Garner's Modern American Usage" tells me that "the root meaning of brain-racking refers to stretching, hence to torture by stretching." Ouch.

Criminal Sentence 299: Schizo

From a sign in a shop:

"Bra's and Panties"

I can never understand how someone can write a sign like this. One part is correct while the other is wrong. Does the person make a mistake and then realize it's a mistake so the next part is right, but then forgets to correct the first part? Or is the person just not thinking? Can anyone enlighten me?

P.S. No apostrophe needed!

Criminal Sentence 298: I'm Guilty

This, unfortunately, is my own Criminal Sentence. Luckily, I caught it before it was published:

"Pompous-sounding and out-of-place vocabulary attract negative attention."

Yikes! That should be "attracts." The subject is "vocabulary," which is singular. I got distracted by the two compound adjectives.

You can read this corrected sentence, and the rest of my extremely grammatical article, on Thursday, when my new Writermag.com column comes out.

Poll Results 59

Here was the question:

What is lying on the desk in this sentence? "There are letters from Confederate soldiers lying on a Federal desk."

Letters 42 (50%)
Soldiers 12 (14%)
Could be either 27 (32%)
Neither 2 (2%)

Grammatically speaking, the word "soldiers" comes right before the clause "lying on a Federal desk," so congrats to 14% of you. We all know that the writer meant "letters," but the "from" prepositional phrase got in the way, as it so often does with misplaced modifiers.

Those of you who did not get the right answer, please reread the blog entries that are marked Grammar. You could use a refresher on the dreaded misplaced modifier problem.

Criminal Sentence 297: Examples include this redundancy

From something I'm editing:

"Examples include a, b, and c."

This is redundant. "Example" means an item that represents a group as a whole; "includes" means is part of a larger group. It would be less redundant to say, "Examples are a, b, and c" or "..., including a, b, and c."

Also, when you use the word "include," you don't have to then use "and so on" or "etc." because by definition you are not giving a complete list.

While we're on this subject, the Latin abbreviation "e.g." means "for example."

Criminal Sentence 296: A Recomandation for Spammers

The title of a junk e-mail I received and laughed at:

"A recomandation from a friend"

None of my friends misspell words in that way.

Being a spammer must be a hard job: all that rejection. Not that I want to encourage spammers, but they might get more people to open their e-mail messages if they spelled simple words correctly.

Criminal Sentence 295: Curing Aides

From a thank-you note written by a patient and posted at the hospital where I volunteer:

"THANKS TO NURSES AND AIDS"

This is an unfortunate mistake. AIDS is a terrible disease; aides are helpers.

Criminal Sentence 294: Double Prepositions

Overheard on TV:

"That's the code in which I live by."

This is spectacularly bad. It uses two prepositions when only one is needed, and it uses two distinct ones, too. Here's what it should say:

"That's the code by which I live."

or

"That's the code I live by."

A similar error crops up in a Beatles song:

"the world in which we live in"

Poll Results 58

This was the question:

Which apostrophe is correct?

The apostrophes' uses are many.	9 (8%)
The comedian's salaries are too high.	3 (2%)
I've never searched a clients' office.	6 (5%)
The apostrophe's a wonderful punctuation mark.	84 (82%)

Congrats to 82% of you. Here are four correct apostrophes:

The apostrophe's uses are many.
The comedians' salaries are too high.
I've never searched a client's office.
The apostrophe's a wonderful punctuation mark.

Criminal Sentence 293: Fat or Thin?

Courtesy of CNN:

"Fat CEO salaries..."

Not thin CEO salaries?

The caption was complaining that these salaries were too large, not that the CEOs were too large. This is what I would call ambiguous. You could interpret it to mean that the salaries were fat, or that the CEOs were fat.

I would suggest rewording it:

"Fat salaries of CEOs"

I don't normally advocate using more words, but in this case being a bit wordy results in not being ambiguous.

New Grammar Girl Episode: Italics

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/how-to-use-italics.aspx

Criminal Sentence 292: You're/Your in Trouble

From a sign I saw at the hospital where I volunteer:

"You're attention please."

Is this sign telling me that I am attention? You are attention?

No!! It is a sign that needs an emergency intervention!

"Your attention please. Sometimes you need an apostrophe, and sometimes you don't. Thank you for listening."

Criminal Sentence 291: From It That (Yep, You Read It Right)

And now for something completely ungrammatical, from a newspaper article about how DNA in a leech helped solve a crime in Australia:

"Detectives found the leech at the crime scene and extracted blood from it that they believed was from one of the two suspects."

Yep. The words "from it that" are not allowed in English. They just don't make sense in that order.

If we want this sentence to make sense, let's just move some words around:

"Detectives found the leech at the crime scene and extracted from it blood that they believed was from one of the two suspects."

I realize that this sounds a little stilted, so it's fine to delete the words "from it," since that is understood:

"Detectives found the leech at the crime scene and extracted blood that they believed was from one of the two suspects."

Criminal Sentence 290: Let's Have a Duel

From something I edited:

"duel locking feature"

That's a silly feature.

"Duel"=a fight between two people (noun)
"Dual"=describing two (adjective)

Poll Results 57

This was the question:

Does this sentence make you chuckle? "Covered in a thick layer of dust, Martin was certain that the tray hadn't been touched in years."

Yes. That's a hilarious misplaced modifier.	45 (73%)
No. The sentence looks all right to me.	8 (13%)
No. I see it's a misplaced modifier, but so what?	8 (13%)

Of course I thought it was hilarious. Martin is not covered in dust; the tray is.

Criminal Sentence 289: Brooch or Broach?

From a book I finished:

"...a diamond broach..."

Brooch=Jewelry you pin on (noun)
Broach=To raise a subject (verb)

Poll Results 56

This was the question:

How many errors are in this sentence? "The paramedic, who tried to staunch the flow of blood rushed patient to the hospital."

One	16 (11%)
Two	81 (56%)
Three	42 (29%)
None	5 (3%)

So 29% of you are correct. Here are the three errors:

1) To staunch should be to stanch. These two words are confused all the time. Staunch is an adjective meaning firm, as in I am a staunch believer in good spelling. Stanch is a verb that means to stop the flow, as in I stanched the flow of blood coming from my head.
2) You can't have just one comma. You need either two (the second one would be after blood) or none, depending on the context.
3) The word the is missing before patient.

Sorry I haven't been posting lately. I was in Italy. I highly recommend Pompeii!

New column at The Writer: Sentence Length/Fragments

http://www.writermag.com/wrt/default.aspx?c=a&id=4439

Poll Results 55

This was the question:

Which do you prefer?

Your savings is $0.50. 38 (51%)
Your savings are $0.50. 36 (48%)

That's pretty close. That's not unexpected because both are allowed.

Question: Where does "also" go?

A great question from Mary:

Please weigh in on the recent trend of using the AP Stylebook as an excuse to rail against any use of split infinitives and even "split" verb phrases. Often the changes these folks insist on making render the sentence clunky, formal, and grating, at least to my ears.

What do you think? For example, they change the perfectly fine

"The techniques are also used to fight cancer." to "The techniques also are used to fight cancer."

I agree that the "also" sounds better in the first sentence. The AP Stylebook advises "In general, avoid awkward constructions that split infinitive forms of a verb or compound forms.... Occasionally, however, a split is not awkward and is necessary to convey meaning." An example it doesn't like: "There stood the wagon that we had early last autumn left by the barn." Of course it prefers "There stood the wagon that we had left by the barn early last autumn."

The listing in the AP Stylebook doesn't specifically use "also," but I know I have read newspaper sentences that use "also" in an awkward manner. I guess we can just call it a style, and if you don't like it and don't work for a newspaper, you can put your "also" wherever seems natural.

Two links to Grammar Girl episodes that touch on these subjects:

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/splitting-verbs.aspx
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/split-infinitives.aspx

Criminal Sentence 288: How Many Lawyers?

From a book I'm reading:

"[I] looked through the lawyer's directory until I found a number, and made the call."

If there really were something called a lawyer's directory, only one name would be in it because the apostrophe tells us so: lawyer's.

So I think we need to put the apostrophe in the right place: lawyers'.

New Writer Mag Article: Using the Wrong Word

http://www.writermag.com/wrt/default.aspx?c=a&id=4427

Criminal Sentence 287: Two Misplaced Modifiers

Two lovely sentences from the same book:

1) "Mr. Sanders has friends in the building he was visiting that night."
2) "I went to the files in the corner of my office that Detective Carruthers had given me..."

Both of these have the same problem: misplaced modifier.

1) Was he visiting the friends or the building? Not the building, as suggested here. Friends. "That night, Mr. Sanders was visiting friends in the building."
2) Did the detective give me the files or the office? Not the office, as suggested here. Files. "I went to the corner of my office to get the files that Detective C had given me..."

If you have two nouns that a clause could modify, be sure you put the modifying clause next to the right noun.

Criminal Sentence 286: Have Patient's

Every Tuesday I volunteer at a hospital, and once again I cringed at a sign they've posted outside the little kitchen area:

"For the safety of the patient's, staff only."

That tries my patient's!

Poll Results 54

Here was the question:

How many punctuation marks are missing in this sentence? "Thank you Arizona for supporting your home town theatre."

One	17 (14%)
Two	72 (61%)
Three	19 (16%)
None	10 (8%)

Congrats to 61% of you. You need commas around "Arizona." In addition, "home town" is one word with no space.

Criminal Sentence 285: Double After

The first paragraph of a newspaper article:

"Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was hospitalized Thursday after becoming ill in her office at the court after treatment for an iron deficiency."

I'm not so sure that I like two cases of "after" in this sentence, and there are too many prepositional phrases:

after becoming ill
in her office
at the court
after treatment
for an iron deficiency

I know that newspaper reporters want to cram in all the facts in the first sentence, but this is a bit much. Let's break it up:

"Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was hospitalized Thursday after becoming ill in her office at the court. She had just undergone treatment for an iron deficiency."

Criminal Sentence 284: Who's humiliated?

From a book I finished yesterday:

"Red in the face and shaking in the limbs, I supposed he wanted nothing more than to flee this humiliation..."

Who is red in the face here? Not the "I" of the sentence. The "he" is the one with the red face and shaking limbs. You'll have to rearrange the sentence to fix this misplaced modifier:

"Red in the face and shaking in the limbs, he seemed to want nothing more than to flee this humiliation..."

Criminal Sentence 283: Council/counsel

From a book I'm reading:

"I kept my council."

When you are keeping your opinion to yourself, you keep your "counsel." A "council" is a group of people such as the student council.

Criminal Sentence 282: What an affect/effect!

From a book I'm reading:

"... if I don't affect some change in the nature of things, I shall be quite ruined..."

Affect/effect is one of those pairs that trips people up.

Affect as a verb means to influence, as in Her sleepiness did not affect the outcome.
Affect as a noun is a psychiatric term that refers to someone's demeanor, as in He had flat affect.
Effect as a verb often goes with "change," as in If you want to effect change, you must...
Effect as a noun often goes with "cause," as in Cause and effect: The effect of the chocolate was immediate.

Poll Results 53

Here was the question:

Would you shop at a place with this sign? "We beat all competitor's prices."
Yes. I don't see an error. 8 (8%)
No. I refuse to shop at places that use apostrophe errors. 21 (22%)
Yes. But I wish the shop would fix the error. 66 (69%)

"All competitor's" is not possible. "All" suggests more than one; "competitor's" suggests one. The store should change its sign to "all competitors'."

New Guest-Written Grammar Girl Episode: "Comprise" v "Compose"

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/comprise-versus-compose.aspx

Criminal Sentence 281: A little bit of wordiness

From a Web site:

"It gives us a little bit of optimism."

No grammatical problems here, but it's just too wordy for my taste. Eight words here when four would do:

"We are slightly optimistic."

Try your best to cut words. Your readers will thank you!

New column at The Writer: Subject-Verb Agreement

http://www.writermag.com/wrt/default.aspx?c=a&id=4408

Reader Question

A reader wanted to know if this sentence contained correct grammar:

"Playing music games requires an intense focus on the separate elements of a song..."

He was mostly interested in knowing if "requires" was the correct verb. The answer is yes.

Here are some other examples:

Singing in the shower is fun.
Singing songs in the shower is fun.

It becomes plural if you have an "and":
Singing and dancing in the shower are fun.

Criminal Sentence 280: Hyphen or Em Dash

From a Web site about foods with too much sugar:

"Granola bars. Often deemed a healthful snack, some are tricky-a 1-ounce serving of a granola bar with oats, fruit, and nuts has 11 grams of added sugar."

This sentence is confusing: "tricky-a" makes no sense. It would make sense, though, to use a double hyphen (which turns into an em dash in Word): "some are tricky--a 1-ounce serving..."

Criminal Sentence 279: Before or After Math?

Seen on ESPN2:

"The after math of the Serena meltdown"

I thought this was an interesting error. "Aftermath" is a compound word with no space; "after math" might mean after a math class.

You can do better than that, ESPN2!

Poll Results 52

This was the question:

Which sentence uses the correct punctuation?
Do you think we should call her "Bubby?" 40 (31%)
Do you think we should call her "Bubby"? 87 (68%)

Congrats to 68% of you.
When the item in quotation marks is a question in itself, then the question mark goes inside the quotation marks. as here: He asked, "Did you arrive on time?"
When the item in quotation marks is part of a larger question, then the question mark goes outside the quotation marks. as in the correct answer.

Criminal Sentence 278: Former vs Formal

From a Web site:

"I ran into my formal teacher."

She meant "former teacher," I believe, unless her teacher was not informal. :)

"Former" means "previous."
"Formal" means "not informal."

I suppose they are easy to confuse, so watch out.

Criminal Sentence 277: Bad Quality

Heard on the US Open telecast:

"The quality of second serves aren’t good."

And the quality of the sentence ISN'T good.

Ignore the prepositional phrase when you are thinking about subject-verb agreement. In this case, you would be concerned only with "The quality ..." It's clear that it matches up with "isn't," not "aren't."

Watch out for those pesky prepositional phrases!

Criminal Sentence 276: An Interesting Flasher

Only I read signs in elevators, but I got rewarded yesterday:

"When flashing, help is on the way."

Someone named help will be flashing? Cool!

This gem was next to the emergency light, which I imagine is the thing that will be flashing. The sign writer should have written this:

"When the light is flashing, help is on the way."

Criminal Sentence 275: Shaped

From a book I read:

"He squeezed the rock and felt that it was oval-shaped..."

This has two problems: it's wordy and it has an incorrect hyphen.

First, you don't need to say something is circle shaped or square shaped or oval shaped. Those words describe shapes.

Second, When a compound adjective follows a noun, you don't need the hyphen. Only when two or more words link together to describe a noun before the noun do you use a hyphen:

The ten-foot-high fence was in the way. (hyphens join the words that describe "fence")
The fence was ten feet high. (no hyphens because the words come after "fence")

This sentence would have been better like this:

"He squeezed the rock and felt that it was oval..."

Poll Results 51

This was the question:

Is the punctuation of this correct? "Careful, the drink you are about to enjoy is very hot."
Yes 58 (59%)
No 39 (40%)

Commas are tricky. In this case, 59% of you were correct. You use a comma after an interjection such as "careful." You could also use an exclamation point:

"Careful!"

Guest-Written Grammar Girl Episode: Groucho and Grammar

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/funny-misplaced-modifiers.aspx

New Writer Mag Article: 5 Common Punctuation Mistakes

http://www.writermag.com/wrt/default.aspx?c=a&id=4400

Criminal Sentence 274: Agreement Problems

Two sentences from an online article:

1) "Their secret: thin crust, half the cheese, and extra vegetables."
2) "The restaurant boasts about their perfect-sized lunch combos as if super-sized individual pizzas and high-calorie 'side' salads are a good thing."

Both of these sentences suffer from the same problem: the number of items don't match.

Sentence 1: "their secret" is singular, whereas what comes after the verb is plural (three things are listed).
Sentence 2: "a good thing" is singular, whereas what comes before the verb is plural.

Both nouns (secret/thing) should be plural to match the other side of the equation.

Criminal Sentence 273: An Extra Fatty Sentence

From an online article about fatty pizzas:

"Fare from the sea is one of the best ways to go, but sprinkled over a bed of starchy dough and fatty cheese and you've got a different story altogether."

This sentence has a number of problems. First, it is way too long. I suggest breaking it up after "to go." Now we can see that the rest of the sentence is missing a correct subject. There is no clear word that goes with "sprinkled." We know from the context that the writer meant "seafood," but it's missing. In addition, two cases of "and" might be confusing. Here is a better way to express this idea:

"Fare from the sea is one of the best ways to go. However, you've got a different story altogether when you sprinkle seafood over a bed of starchy dough and fatty cheese."

Avoid fatty pizzas and fatty sentences, please.

Criminal Sentence 272: Odd Splling

The title is misspelled on purpose because of this typo in a book:

"This book was set in Minion, a typefce produced by..."

Proofreading is important, even on the unimportant pages that describe the book's typeface.

Poll Results 50

Here was the question:
Which sentence is correct?

You should eat vegetables everyday. 26 (22%)
Go online any time. 7 (5%)
She doesn't like any body. 1 (0%)
He doesn't eat anything white. 77 (65%)
I eat every thing. 6 (5%)

Congrats to 65% of you.

"Everyday" is an adjective that means ordinary; "every day" means each day.
"Any time" is usually used in a negative sentence: "I don't have any time." "Anytime" means "whenever you want."
"Any body" is usually used in a negative sentence: "He saw three bodies fall, but I didn't see any body." "Anybody" is used like "nobody" and "everybody."
"Every thing" means each thing; "everything" is most often used as one word.

If you're unsure about any of these, look them up for the full treatment.

Criminal Sentence 271: Looking for the Correct Subject

Overheard on Project Runway:

"Looking at the judges’ expressions, they are stone cold."

I feel stone cold about this sentence. Who is looking at the judges' expressions? Not "they," which refers back to the noun "judges." The actual subject--"I"--is missing. Let's add it:

"Looking at the judges’ expressions, I wasn't pleased to see that they were stone cold."

Always make sure you clearly state who is doing what, or else you will be eliminated.

Criminal Sentence 270: A Couple

From an article about a baseball game:

"'They hit a couple balls that didn't carry.'"

This is definitely a colloquial statement. The strictly correct way to put this would be "a couple of," or even "two." Many people leave out the "of" in informal speech. I guess that's fine, but avoid "a couple" and then a noun in formal essays.

Criminal Sentence 269: Your Body Type

From an ad in the paper:

"Find out what body type your are."

My body type is the proofreading type. Is yours that type too?

Criminal Sentence 268: Me, Me, Me

From an article about a taxi driver who donated his kidney to a woman he drove to dialysis (and who was prompted by a higher power to do so):

"The Phoenix taxi driver said [that] he was a man of faith and that a higher power wanted him to step in."'By then, me and the good Lord already had a talk.'"

He did a good deed, but me don't like his statement. "I" is the correct pronoun here: "The good Lord and I..."

And I added the missing "that," which makes the sentence completely parallel.

Poll Results 49

Here was the question:

Do you think that professional writers who have written multiple books should know the difference between “principal” and “principle”?

Yes, and they should never confuse the two words in their books. 39 (60%)
Yes, but we should forgive them if they confuse the two words in their books. 5 (7%)
No, and they are not responsible for confusing the two words in their books. 0 (0%)
Maybe, but the copyeditor should catch any word errors. 20 (31%)

I asked this because I recently read two books about the craft of writing and both misused "principle" instead of "principal." The errors were hard to ignore, and I groaned aloud--loudly.

Criminal Sentence 267: Migrating Jewelry

From a column in my local paper:

"It seems that since moving here from another state that all of my sterling silver jewelry tarnishes very quickly."

There are actually two errors here. The first is the repetition of the word "that." You need just one.

The second mistake is a misplaced modifier, because this sentence suggests that the jewelry moved here from another state. Obviously, the jewelry moved here but a person brought it. The sentence would be better like this:

"It seems since I moved here from another state that all of my sterling silver jewelry tarnishes very quickly."

Writer Magazine article: Missing Subjects

http://www.writermag.com/wrt/default.aspx?c=a&id=4385

Criminal Sentence 266: Royally Bad Sentence

From a book about the craft of writing:

"Often the words are out before we can reign them in."

"Reign" refers to leading, as in "The queen reigned for 50 years." "La reine" is queen in French, in case you wanted to know.

"Rein" refers to an animal harness, as in "Santa hooked up the reins to the reindeer."

I was disappointed to see a writing book abuse this word.

Criminal Sentence 265: Role-ing My Eyes

From a newspaper article about school enrollment:

“We can’t withdraw students from our roles until after the 10th day.”

Notice how I said, "enrollment," not something like "enrolement." That's because lists of students at schools are called "rolls," not "roles." "Roles" refers to parts in a play or movie, for example.

Criminal Sentence 264: Speling Problem

A teaser from Yahoo! this morning:

"What really killed Mozart?

After years of guesswork, researchers believe they now know the answer.
An 18th-cenury 'epidemic'"

I've heard of penury, but not cenury. Guess they forgot to check their spelling.

And what did off the composer?

"Strep throat may have killed Mozart: study"

Poll Results 48

Here was the question:

How many hours a week do you devote to improving your grammar/writing?
1-5 23 (44%)
6-10 5 (9%)
I spend all my free time on grammar/writing. 4 (7%)

I guess you already figured out that I'm with the 7%.

Criminal Sentence 263: High and Low

From a Web site:

"Low and behold"

"Lo" is a seldom-used interjection. It often pairs up in the phrase "lo and behold."

"Low " is an adjective meaning not high, among other things.

Grammar Girl Episode: Distracting Predicate Nouns

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/were-versus-was.aspx

Reader Question: Prepositional Phrases

Here's an excellent question from a reader named John:

"I have trained myself out of passive voice--mostly--and now find that trains of prepositional phrases is my favorite way of turning a six word thought into a 12 word sentence. The easiest way out of this is noun pairs (in the center of the town becomes in the town center). Often that doesn't sound quite right in the sentence, and I know that recasting the sentence is what is really needed. Suggestions?"

John is right that prepositional phrases can unnecessarily lengthen a sentence:

"The shoes of the man fell off" is a lot wordier than "The man's shoes fell off."

Therefore, I do suggest that you replace prepositional phrases where it makes sense. As for recasting the sentence, that is another good idea that can help you shorten, shorten, shorten. For example, "The meaning of his words was lost when the train blew past him" is pretty wordy. You can take the essence of your idea and recast it: "The train drowned out his words."

When you're first learning to cut prepositional phrases, you can simply search for "of" in your word-processing program. Then you can determine which cases of "of" are wordy and then cut, cut, cut.

Criminal Sentence 262: Naughty Medicare representative

A simplified version of a real sentence from a book I read:

"He discussed his belief that unnecessary procedures were being done at the hospital with a Medicare representative in Stockton, CA."

This sentence is not grammatical because it is trying to squeeze in too much information. There are simply too many prepositional phrases: "at the hospital," "with a Medicare representative" and "in Stockton, CA." The sentence makes it sound as if the Medicare representative was participating in the unnecessary procedures.

Common sense tells me that the "He" of this sentence discussed something with a Medicare representative and that they were in Stockton at the time.Let's try to have the sentence state that:

"He was in Stockton, CA, when he told a Medicare representative that he felt unnecessary procedures were being done at the hospital."

Not the most perfect sentence but a vast improvement over the original.

Criminal Sentence 261: Apostrophe Un-Happy

From a nursery ad:

"10’000’s of trees"

First of all, I would think it's thousands of trees, not ten thousands of trees. Second, you don't use an apostrophe to pluralize a number. It is true that you can use an apostrophe to pluralize something if ambiguity would result, as in "I got all A's." If you had no apostrophe, it would look like "As." However, there's no ambiguity with this number, so no apostrophe.

Poll Results 47

This was the question:

Which sentence is correct?

I had an adverse reaction to the carob. 62 (79%)
What's the affect of eating too much chocolate? 6 (7%)
I have a big horde of chocolate. 6 (7%)
She took a peak at the candy. 4 (5%)

Congrats to 79% of you.The phrase "adverse reaction" is sometimes mistaken for "averse reaction," which is incorrect.
In sentence 2, "affect" should be "effect."
In sentence 3, "horde" should be "hoard."
In sentence 4, "peak" should be "peek."

Many words sound the same, so check the dictionary if you're not sure of the spelling.

Criminal Sentence 260: Nonsensical FAQ

From a writing contest FAQ page:

"How large of print is allowed?"

This wasn't written by an ESL student as far as I know. Could this be considered a careless error? I don't know. What's the right way to express this thought?

"What is the biggest font size allowed?"

New Article for The Writer: Wordiness

Here is my latest article:
http://www.writermag.com/wrt/default.aspx?c=a&id=4375

Criminal Sentence 259: How Many Parents Do You Have?

From a blog I read:

"I lived in my parent's house."

I don't know if this person is a child of a single parent, but I'm guessing not. He would have said "my mom's house" or "my dad's house." Therefore, I think he was fortunate to live in his parents' house--that's s apostrophe, not apostrophe s.

Criminal Sentence 258: Concerns about agreement

From my community newspaper:

"Over the past 18 months, the safety and well-being of neighborhoods surrounding the airport has become a serious concern."

I have a serious concern about this: there is more than one concern in the sentence:

the safety of neighborhoods
the well-being of neighborhoods

Therefore, we need to pluralize everything:

the verb "has become" (should be "have become")
"a serious concern" (should be "serious concerns")

Here's the rewrite:

"Over the past 18 months, the safety and well-being of neighborhoods surrounding the airport have become serious concerns."

Criminal Sentence 257: A sentence at it's worst

From an ad in my community newspaper:

"Assisted living at it’s best"

I doubt it.

It's (It is) best if you learn how to use "its."

Poll Results 46

This was the question:

Which sentence is not wordy?
Due to the fact that it's snowing outside, I am not able to wear sandals. 2 (2%)
He has the ability to write well. 20 (24%)
Using a flashlight, I searched the basement. 52 (63%)
I always proofread myself on a continuous basis. 8 (9%)

Congrats to 63% of you. The following phrases in the other sentences are wordy:

Due to the fact that
am not able to
has the ability to
on a continuous basis (and always means the same thing)

Now for the better phrases:

because
cannot
can
continually

Try to use one word instead of several.

Criminal Sentence 256: The Worst Sentence of the Year

Today's example is so awful that I'm naming it the worst sentence of the year. It appeared in today's paper. Here is the background: A woman who was eight months pregnant was killed and another woman pretended the baby was hers. She was arrested for kidnapping. The medical examiner performed an autopsy on the woman who was pregnant, and the police are investigating the murder. Now here's what the reporter told us:

"The missing fetus was discovered during an autopsy."

This is the most ridiculous sentence! It claims that during the autopsy the fetus was found, when we know that the missing baby was found at the home of the woman pretending to be the mom. The baby was still missing after the autopsy was done.

The sentence was supposed to say that during the autopsy, the medical examiner discovered that there had been a fetus and that it was now missing.

I'm glad the baby, now in protective services, has been found unharmed, but I am dismayed at the reporter's lack of brains.

End of rant.

Criminal Sentence 255: There, their, they're

From a sign at my gym's child care area:

"All parents must make sure there kids are taking the right shoes."

"Their is" a problem with that "there," which is one of three words that sound alike:

1) "their," as in not "mine" or "yours"
2) "there," as in not "here"
3) "they're," a contraction of "they are"

Careless writers forget which one is which. If you tend to make this mistake, I suggest that when you use one of these words, you say to yourself, "Ding! I've just used a word that sounds like another word. Maybe I should double-check myself!"

Thank "ewe" "four" double-checking "yore" self. English contains many pairs and trios of similar-sounding words, so "bee" careful with your spelling!

Criminal Sentence 254: Yucky Shake

From a sign at a fast food restaurant:

"Burger and Peach Shake: $2.99"

My first reaction to this as I drove by was ewwww. A shake made with burgers? Of course I knew that the sign meant it cost $2.99 for two items--a shake and a burger. This is a classic ambiguous sentence (or partial sentence). It would have been better to advertise like this:

"Peach Shake and a Burger: $2.99"

Criminal Sentence 253: With a passion for grammar

From something I edited:

"With a passion for cooking, it is no surprise that she named her organization and productivity consulting firm after a cooking term."

As you should all know by now, this sentence contains a misplaced modifier. "It" doesn't have a passion for cooking! The lady does! Let's reword it:

"It is no surprise that Mary, who has a passion for cooking, named her organization and productivity consulting firm after a cooking term."

Poll Results 45

This was the question:

What's wrong with this? "Cronkite's influence was said to rival presidents."

Misplaced modifier 16 (21%)
Subject-verb agreement 10 (13%)
Faulty comparison 45 (60%)
Wrong word 3 (4%)

Congratulations to 60% of you. You can't compare "influence" to "presidents." You need to compare "influence" to "influence." You can do this in several ways, some of which sound better than others:

1) Cronkite's influence was said to rival the influence of presidents. (repetitive)
2) Cronkite's influence was said to rival that of presidents. (fuddy-duddy, perhaps)
3) Cronkite's influence was said to rival presidents'. (not good)
4) It was said that Cronkite had as much influence as presidents did. (aah, much better)

Criminal Sentence 252: Headline Capitalization

A headline from something I recently edited:

"What can Airbags do for you?"

There are three schools of thought about head style. You can capitalize the first letter of all words all the time (that's easy enough to remember), you can capitalize the first letter of everything except words like "and," "of" and "the," or you can capitalize just the first word and any proper names.
This headline here follows none of these styles, so I deem it a criminal.
Some publications/offices have a style guide that tells employees which way to go. I prefer the cap everything style, mostly because then I don't have to struggle to remember which words need caps and which don't.
Does your publication/office have a style preference for heads?

Criminal Sentence 251: Coincidentally...

Seen in a magazine:

"Coincidently, ..."

Coincidentally, there is something called a dictionary...

Criminal Sentence 250: Ambiguous Besides

From something I edited:

"Besides these kinds of adventures are best shared with friends."

I had to read this sentence twice before I got it. I thought at first that "Besides these kinds of adventures" went together. Nope.

The sentence would be clearer with a comma:

"Besides, these kinds of adventures are best shared with friends."

Criminal Sentence 249: Looking for Kanga

Seen on a sign at the side of the road:

"Wanted: Roomate"

Anyone seen Kanga?

Poll Results 44

This was the question:

Do novels written in the present tense instead of past tense bother you?

Yes 18 (36%)
No 31 (63%)

As for me, present-tense books bother me. I find such books hard to stick with unless the story is so compelling that I can overlook the present tense.

Criminal Sentence 248: Quite an Effect

From a blog I read:

"I hear lots of people complaining about the economy and how it’s effecting them."

I hear lots of spelling whizzes complaining about how the spelling is "affecting," not "effecting," them.

Most of the time, "affect" is used as a verb. "Effect," as in "the cause and effect of something," is usually used as a noun. Check the dictionary if you're not sure which one is right for your particular sentence.

Guest-Written Grammar Girl Episode: Using "Which" to Begin a Sentence

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/start-sentence-with-which.aspx

New Article: Using Imaginative Verbs

Please check out my latest article for "The Writer":

http://www.writermag.com/wrt/default.aspx?c=a&id=4348

Criminal Sentence 247: Admitting You Have Typos

The last line of a post from a blog I read daily:

"Sorry, for the brief report and any and all typos and errors today, but I'm really trying to run out the door"

Two punctuation errors in that sentence (first comma not needed, and period missing). And there were several other mistakes, including "hollar" instead of "holler."

Which scenario is better? Being late arriving because you fixed your own typos, or being on time and having typos?

Criminal Sentence 246: Buried in Bad Grammar

From a book about an ancient pot that was smuggled out of Italy and then broken:

"Buried in documents from his legal files, I found another reference to the 15 fragments."

The question here is "What is buried in his legal files?" Is it "I" or perhaps the reference? Unless the "I" of this sentence is chest deep in paperwork, I believe it's the reference that is buried.

Don't steal ancient pottery, and don't write misplaced modifiers!

Criminal Sentence 245: Three for One

I had to get new tires yesterday and, being myself, I couldn't help but copy down the text of a large sign in the showroom:

"Underinflated Tires can decrease fuel mileage by 10%, that can add up to hundreds of dollars a year"

I had to sit next to this sign for 45 minutes! What horror! What torture! (OK, I'm exaggerating just slightly.)

Three errors:

1) No need to capitalize "Tires" unless you're talking about a proper name. Is some naughty person named Underinflated Tires going around and decreasing fuel mileage?
2) A comma between two sentences is called a comma splice. Comma splices are no-nos. There's a new invention the sign writer hasn't heard about: a period. A period ends a sentence.
3) What, a period is missing at the end of this sentence? Yikes!

Poll Results 43

Here was the question:

In which sentence are em dashes used incorrectly?

I spent $1,000--can you believe it?--at the mall. 11 (14%)
I love you--Do you love me too?--I hope so. 32 (42%)
Don't come around here anymore--unless you're coming to pay back the money you owe me. 20 (26%)
If you see her--or hear from her--please let me know. 7 (9%)
Beats me. I don't know how to use em dashes. 6 (7%)

Congrats to 42% of you. You can't use em dashes like periods, as they are in the second sentence. Em dashes indicate you're adding a quick aside. You can use a pair of em dashes around an aside in the middle of a sentence, as in the first and fourth examples, or you can use an em dash to add an aside at the end, as in the third example. One way to tell if you're using an em dash correctly is to to remove the em dash(es) and the aside. If the sentence still makes sense, then the em dash(es) is/are OK.

You can see em dashes everywhere. Notice in novels how they are used.

Criminal Sentence 244: I Have an Aversion to That!

From a book I read:

"It’s no wonder that Nick isn’t adverse to a little risk."

I am averse--not adverse--to that sentence. In other words, I have an aversion to that misspelling. "Adverse" means "antagonistic," whereas "averse" means "having a feeling of distaste." These are commonly confused words, so if you make this kind of mistake, you'll have to memorize how to use them. You can usually use "to" after "averse," so remember "averse to." You can usually use a noun after "adverse," as in "adverse circumstances."

Guest-Written Grammar Girl Episode: Rhetorical/Tag Questions

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/rhetorical-questions-question-mark.aspx

Criminal Sentence 243: Who's the First Lady?

From a book I read:

"As First Lady, the agents acted as my protectors."

Now that's odd: how can agents be the First Lady? Well, they can't. This is just another misplaced modifier.

What is the writing world coming to?

Criminal Sentence 242: Funny Mustache

From a book I am reading:

"All I had was a vague recollection of a man with slicked-down hair and a little Latin mustache who was always cheerful."

Wow, a cheerful mustache. That's entertaining prose. Again, as usual, I am pointing out a misplaced modifier. The clause "who was always cheerful" doesn't belong next to "mustache"; it belongs with "a man." Just move "cheerful" before "man" and your problem is solved:

"All I had was a vague recollection of an always cheerful man with slicked-down hair and a little Latin mustache."

Criminal Sentence 241: Groaning Outloud

From an LA Times article about tennis:

"He has focused on the simple principal of moving aggressively forward."

I groaned audibly when I read this sentence. There's just no excuse for this elementary error in the LA Times.

"Principal" should be "principle." A simple principal would mean either a simpleton who is leading a school or an uncomplicated part of a loan that is not interest. A "principle" is a tenet or law.

Poll Results 42

This was the question:

What's wrong with this? "As one of our Loyal Customers, we would like to say thanks."

Incorrect grammar 7 (8%)
Incorrect punctuation 3 (3%)
Incorrect capitalization 12 (14%)
Two of the above 62 (73%)

Congrats to 73% of you. Loyal Customers does not need to be capitalized, and the "we" in this sentence is not one of our loyal customers; an unmentioned "you" is. Here is how I would rewrite this:

"Thank you for being a loyal customer."

New Column for The Writer Magazine: Dangling Modifiers

Enjoy this new article that complains about dangling modifiers. Just sign up to be a member at writermag.com.

http://www.writermag.com/wrt/default.aspx?c=a&id=4340

Criminal Sentence 240: Writing "Differently"

From a book I finished recently:

"I looked at every teenager walking down the road differently."

So the kids were walking differently? Were they members of Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks, that famous British comedy skit from the 70s?

This is an example of a misplaced modifier. In this case, the word "differently" is misplaced. It seems to modify "walking," but it truly modifies "looked." The speaker has started looking at teenagers differently.

Fixing it is fairly easy: just move the word "differently" so that it modifies "looked":

"I looked differently at every teenager walking down the road."

Ah...

And please be careful that your adverbs clearly modify what they're supposed to, especially if you have more than one verb or adjective in your sentence.

Criminal Sentence 239: A Plethora of Errors

The text of a notice stuck to my door yesterday:

"Hi, allow Me to introduce Myself. My name is XYZ, I painted the outside of a house in Your neighborhood. If You would like to stop by and take a look at it You can pass by XYZ address. Also if You want a free estimate please call Me at either one of the numbers above and You can verify that I Am indeed the CHEAPEST yet PROFESSIONAL Painter in the Valley."

Definitely not as professional as I would like. The list of errors is quite long here:

1) You don't need to capitalize pronouns other than I. Nor do you need to capitalize the words "Am" or "Painter."
2) There are two comma splices here: "Hi, allow me..." and "My name is XYZ, I painted..." Periods would be better than commas.
3) You don't need all caps to make something stand out.
4) "cheapest yet professional" makes no sense. "Cheapest and most professional" would sound more professional.

Criminal Sentence 238: Apples to Oranges

From today's paper, about shoulder surgery for pitchers:

"Unlike muscles in the rotator cuff, which can be strengthened and regrown, surgery is the only way to repair a labrum tear."

So, surgery is unlike muscles in the rotator cuff? Ah, no. I think we need to redo this whole sentence to avoid a comparison mistake:

"Muscles in the rotator cuff can be strengthened and regrown; on the other hand, a labrum tear can be repaired only by surgery."

Although this new sentence is in passive voice, it is much better than the original.

Poll Results 41

This was the question:

Have you been published?
Yes. My work is available now. 8 (22%)
Almost. I'm under contract now. 0 (0%)
No, but I am trying. 14 (40%)
No. I am not a writer. 13 (37%)

Good luck to those who are trying to get published!

Grammar Girl Episode: Subject-Complement Agreement

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/subject-complement-agreement.aspx

Criminal Sentence 237: Errors: Just Beat It

A double error in an article about the death of Michael Jackson:

"Upon arriving at the hospital at approximately 1:14 p.m., a team of doctors, including emergency phsyicians and cardiologists, attempted to resuscitate him for a period of one hour and they were unsuccessful."

Very sad, but let's focus on this sentence.

1) "Upon arriving at the hospital at approx. 1:14"--I don't think a team of doctors arrived; they were already there waiting to treat the patient. So this is a misplaced modifier. It would be better to say, "When Jackson arrived at the hospital..."

2) That's an interesting way to spell physicians: "phsyicians."

Criminal Sentence 236: To or Too

Seen on the side of an electrician's truck:

"No job to small"

to/too/two: different spellings and different meanings!

It's "to" bad the electrician didn't check his spelling before he printed his sign!

Criminal Sentence 235: Falling Leaves

From a post in the comments section of a blog for writers:

"That releaves a lot of stress."

The dictionary releaves a lot of spelling mistakes.

Criminal Sentence 234: Who and That

From today's newspaper:

"This is a boy that went from obscurity to mega-fame in a very short space of time and who had to open himself up very, very quickly."

This is a very confused sentence. It uses both a "that" clause and a "who" clause to refer back to "boy." Traditionally, you use "who" clauses to refer to people and "that" clauses to refer to things. You are allowed, however, to use "that" clauses to refer to people if you want, but I don't think it's OK to use one of each in the same sentence. Pick "who" or "that" and then stick with it, please. I personally prefer "who."

Poll Results 40

This was the question:

What's wrong with this? "The actor is on a two month-long hiatus."

Unneeded hyphen 42 (43%)
Missing hyphen 51 (53%)
Nothing 3 (3%)

Congrats to 53% of you. A hyphen is missing in the compound adjective "two-month-long," which modifies "hiatus." Whenever you join up words to modify something, you use hyphens, as in "The soon-to-be-eaten chocolate looked yummy." If you put the words after the noun, however, then you don't need hyphens: The chocolate that was soon to be eaten looked yummy.

Criminal Sentence 233: Serves You Wrong

From a book I read:

"The thick bed of rotted leaves and soft earth served to muffle her footsteps."

There's nothing grammatically wrong with this sentence, but I feel that you can usually cut out the phrase "serve to" because it is useless. Why not just say, "The thick bed of rotted leaves and soft earth muffled her footsteps" and save two words?

New Article: Parallel Sentences

Check out my new article (about parallel sentences) for The Writer:

http://www.writermag.com/wrt/default.aspx?c=a&id=4325

Shrimp Spelling

So I was in the store yesterday and saw some large shrimp for sale. There were two kinds of shrimp sitting next to each other, so when the lady asked me which one I wanted, I clarified by saying, "The one whose name is spelled wrong." Instead of flashing me a dirty look, as do most clerks if I point out a mistake in my perky voice, she looked stunned and embarrassed. Colossal shrimp had been spelled "Collasal." As soon as I had my shrimp in hand, she came around to the front of the display case and removed the sign so she could get it fixed. Very good job, Shrimp Lady!
I enjoyed eating those shrimp, which were collasally delicious!

Criminal Sentence 232: To Become Grammatical

From a Web site:

"To become a published writer, there must be a market for your work."

This is a misplaced modifier: "to become a published writer" does not go with "there"; if you've read this blog for a while, you will know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean, please read the blog.

How would you rewrite it?

Criminal Sentence 231: A Date with Nuttiness

Seen on a sign outside a drugstore:

"Father’s Day is June 21th."

Just had to laugh at that one.

Poll Results 39

Here was the question:

What's wrong with this? "The city's too laid back for Type As like me."

Unneeded apostrophe 3 (3%)
Missing apostrophe 43 (56%)
Faulty comparison 4 (5%)
Incorrect capitalization 26 (34%)

I was looking for the missing apostrophe in Type A's. Otherwise, it looks like As. As for the capitalization of Type A, my dictionary says it can be type A or Type A.

Criminal Sentence 230: A Bad Start

The first sentence of a book I finished yesterday:

"The day that Ryan Evans's world changed forever began as any other day he'd spent in the hot desert might have begun."

This is not an auspicious way to begin a book. Way too wordy and dull. I had a bad feeling about this book because of this sentence, and it proved true that it wasn't written very well.

A first sentence should grab a reader, but this grabbed me the wrong way.

"That" or "Who" after a Person

A reader of my new "Watch Your Language" column on writermag.com asked me this:

"What I noticed a lot lately and bugs me is that people will use "that" when they should use "who." For example, "The man that sells ice cream on the corner retired." I always believed "who" should be used when talking about people, but since I see and hear "that" used so much, I started to doubt myself. Am I correct?"

This is a good question. My grammar sources tell me that Shakespeare and the Bible, for example, use "that" after a person. So although it isn't incorrect to use "that" after a person, it's more common to use "who," and I prefer "who."

Stick with "who" after a person, but it's OK to use "that" if you really must.

Criminal Sentence 229: Ambiguous or Ungrammatical?

From a newspaper:

"A backpack with a laptop and a vaccination card also was recovered."

At first glance, this sentence seems ungrammatical; it appears that the subject is a compound subject: "a backpack with a laptop and a vaccination card." Those are two things. So when we see the verb "was," we do a double take. Then we consider that the backpack could have contained two items: a laptop and a vaccination card. It's possible, so the "was" could be grammatical.

If the backpack really did contain two items, here's a clearer way to write this sentence:

"Also recovered was a backpack that contained both a laptop and a vaccination card."

Criminal Sentence 228: Sheep in Strange Clothing

Seen on a TV show about fashion:

"Shear top"

Hmmm. A top to wear while shearing a sheep, perhaps? Or maybe a top to wear to reduce wind shear?

Nope, a "sheer" top, a top that is light and perhaps easy to see through. Aah, that's better.

You may shear a sheep in a sheer top, but it's sheer nonsense to wear a shear top.

Poll Results 38

This was the question:

What's wrong with this? “How I work with my clients and my expectations for and of my clients are completely different from every single other agent out there.”

Problem with subject-verb agreement 15 (18%)

Incorrect word choice 11 (13%)

Faulty comparison 41 (50%)

Misplaced modifier 14 (17%)

50% of you are right. You can't compare "how I work with my clients and my expectations for and of my clients" with "every single other agent out there."

Criminal Sentence 227: "It Was" a Problem

From a book I read recently (about Avignon, France):

"It was in December 1360 that the threat once again descended on Avignon."

This is an example of wordy writing. Can you tell me what three words you can cut?

Grammar Girl Episode: Principal vs. Principle

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/principal-versus-principle.aspx

New Column!

Check out my new column, about orphaned "who" and "that" clauses. Register at writermag.com to get access to my articles and other writing resources!

Criminal Sentence 226: Lean on Me

The first sentence of an introduction to a book I finished:

"The writer would like to thank the many who leant their time, wisdom, and patience to the improvement of this book."

Obviously this sentence has not been improved enough! I find two ways to improve it:

1) Spell "lent" correctly!
2) Avoid the nominalization: "the improvement of." Why not just save words and say, "...patience to improve this book."

Criminal Sentence 225: The Eyes Have It

From a book I finished last week:

"The man watched him and the girl with slow eyes."

This sentence displays another pesky prepositional phrase: "with slow eyes." Currently, it's next to "the girl," but does the girl have slow eyes? Nope, from the context of the paragraph, the man watched her slowly. So it should be:

"With slow eyes, the man watched him and the girl."

Criminal Sentence 224: Puzzling Headline

A New York Times print headline:

"Plane vanishes carrying 228; cause puzzle"

That cause a puzzle with me. The subject is "Plane," so the verb after the semicolon should be singular, as is "vanishes."

Perhaps the headline writer was so traumatized by the terrible news that his or her grammar flew away, too.

Poll Results 37

This was the question:
What's wrong with this, which I saw on a sign today? "Bathroom use are for customers only"
Spelling 2 (2%)
Passive voice 0 (0%)
Subject-verb agreement 63 (68%)
Punctuation 1 (1%)
Two of the above 26 (28%)

This was a bit tricky on purpose. "Two of the above" is correct. The subject does not agree with the verb, and a period is missing at the end of the sentence.

Shame on the sign writer!

Grammar Girl Episode: All Right vs Alright

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/all-right-versus-alright.aspx

Criminal Sentence 223: Nay on Lay

From an article in today's paper (about the death of a 150-year-old saguaro cactus):

" 'It's laying on Mother Earth,' said Todd Willard, a Tonto National Forest wildlife biologist."

Sorry, Todd, but I need to lay your statement in the trash.

To recline=to lie
To put something down=to lay down

I hate to admit that "lay down" to mean recline is very common in speech, so it's probably standard now. I want to complain about it anyway.

Criminal Sentence 222: Placing Prepositional Phrases "Without Difficulty"

From the latest novel by a New York Times bestselling author:

"We found the address he gave me without difficulty."

I'm glad it wasn't difficult to give out the address. Or was it not difficult to find the address? Oops. The finding, not the giving, turned out to be easy. Let's reword:

"It wasn't hard to find the address he gave me."

Or perhaps this is better:

"It wasn't hard to find the address he had given me."

When you have a prepositional phrase, be sure to place it correctly!

Criminal Sentence 221: Debate over Prepositions

Today's big headline:

"Debate begins over Obama's court pick"

There is no debate, though, that this syntax is messed up.

What does the "over" phrase describe? Not "begins." Let's just move it next to what it does modify, "debate."

"Debate over Obama's court pick begins"

Poll Results 36

Here was the question:

How did you hear about this site?

Through my book's Amazon page 1 (1%)
Because I heard about it on a "Grammar Girl" show 42 (76%)
By looking for grammar/writing resources on the Internet 7 (12%)
By word of mouth 5 (9%)

Thanks, Grammar Girl!

Criminal Sentence 220: Desperate for a Dictionary

From something I edited yesterday:

"Seventy separate facilities, many of which are individually operated, were on numerous desperate systems and technologies."

I had to laugh at that one.

"Disparate" = different
"Desperate" = really in need of something, like a dictionary

Criminal Sentence 219: I Wish You Wouldn't

From an interview with a pitcher:

"I wish I wouldn’t have started."

This is a case where the speaker made the verb tense more complicated than necessary. Why do you need two auxiliary (or helping) verbs: "wouldn't" and "have"? I dunno. You don't.

The sentence needs just one:

"I wish I hadn't started."

You can imagine yourself saying, "I wish you hadn't done that." You wouldn't say, "I wish you wouldn't have done that."

I hear this tense problem in other sentences, such as this:

"If she would have listened, I would not have put her in time out."

You need to change the first verb:

"If she had listened, I would not have put her in time out."

Criminal Sentence 218: Don't Put the Cart (Pronoun) before the Horse (Noun)

From a book I read recently:

"If it’s available, make sure to order Armagnac."

This is a common mistake: using a pronoun before you've mentioned what the noun is. A pronoun refers back to a noun that you've already mentioned, so if you haven't mentioned the noun yet, it confuses the reader. To solve this problem, just switch the pronoun and noun around:

"If Armagnac’s available, make sure to order it."

Criminal Sentence 217: Obama Has Had a Term at Notre Dame?

From a newspaper:

"The president faces one of the noisiest controversies of his term at the University of Notre Dame."

This sentence suggests that Obama has had a term--in other words, served in some position of importance--at Notre Dame. Definitely not the case. The prepositional phrase "at the University of Notre Dame" is misplaced and accidentally joins up with what came before: "his term." So let's rearrange:

"While at the University of Notre Dame to give the commencement speech, the president faces one of the noisiest controversies of his term."

Be careful where you place your prepositional phrases; they get misplaced a lot!

Poll Results 35

What do you think of what a sportscaster said to another? "Thanks for efforting that report."

Sounds fine to me. 2 (2%)

Makes me cringe. 83 (97%)

That "verbification" definitely made me cringe. "Effort" is a noun only; "make an effort" would be the verb to use in this case.

As Grammar Girl has said, "Don't verbify me, bro!"

Criminal Sentence 216: Odd Apostrophe

I was reading a book and came across this odd apostrophe:

"$250,000’ worth of poker chips"

Now if we wanted to spell this out (with a smaller dollar number for simplicity's sake), an apostrophe is warranted:

"ten dollars' worth of poker chips"

Just as you would do here:

"one dollar's worth of poker chips"

I've never seen an apostrophe used this way and I don't think it's allowed, though my style guides are silent on the matter.

If you come across such a situation, I would suggest not using an apostrophe after a dollar sign. In the $250K example, it would be awkward to spell out the number and then use an apostrophe, so you would have to reword the sentence somehow.

Criminal Sentence 215: Puss in Boots and in Ears?

I've been dealing with a painful ear infection and ruptured eardrum, so I did some reading online. Found this lovely sentence:

"If the infection builds up, the eardrum may rupture to allow the puss to flow out."

This seems to have happened to me, except for the part about the cat.

"Pus": icky stuff
"Puss": fluffy animal

Criminal Sentence 214: "Nemesis": Singular or Plural?

Said by a baseball announcer:

"Their nemesis have been the opposing pitchers."

If the words were "nemesi" (singular) and "nemesis" (plural), this would have some chance of being correct. However, the singular is "nemesis" and the plural is "nemeses." The subject ("nemesis") is singular, so the sentence should be as follows:

"Their nemesis has been the opposing pitchers."

The sentence would sound even better if we made the object ("pitchers") singular:

"Their nemesis has been the pitching of the opposition." (or "the opposition's pitching")

Poll Results 34

This was the question:

What is the problem here? We shot a signal flair in the air.

Grammar 22 (20%)

Spelling 84 (79%)

Punctuation 0 (0%)

I found a very similar sentence in a book. 79% of you are right that the spelling in this sentence is off. "Flair" means panache; "flare" means a light signal.

Watch "yore" spelling, "pleas."

Dumb Criminal Commits a Misspelling

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2009/05/09/20090509ODDwrongaddress.html

Grammar Girl Episode: Using "For" to Mean "Because"

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/because-or-for.aspx

Criminal Sentence 213: Some Consonants Should Be Doubled

From the CNN crawl:

"White House is 'disapointed' with Manny Ramirez."

I am disapointed, too, especially with that "speling."

Criminal Sentence 212: Eyes on the "Prise"

From a sign in a coffee shop:

"Long prised for its tantalizing unpredictability, this coffee..."

That sentence is not "prized" for its correctness.

"Prized" means valued or recognized; "prised" means used as a lever.

How to Use Past Perfect

A reader asked whether this sentence is correct:

I took another look at the questions that had spurred me to mention education in the first place.

He wanted to know if "had spurred" was in the correct tense.

Yes, that is correct, and it's called past perfect. You get a past perfect tense when you add the word "had" to a past participle (a past participle is something such as spoken or broken). Past perfect indicates something that happened before another event in the past.

In this sentence, there are two past actions: "I took another look" and "questions had spurred me." The use of "had" indicates that this action came before the other one, so first, the questions spurred him, and then he took another look.

Here's another example:

I had just opened the door when the phone rang.

Here, the two past events are I opened the door, and the phone rang. First comes the action with the helping verb had: I had opened the door; then the phone rang.

Grammar Question

Ashley has this question:

Is the following sentence grammatically correct?

"One of the unexpected outcomes of this training program has been the positive rewards that our students have accrued midway through the program."

I think it is incorrect, because "positive rewards" are clearly plural, as the author uses the word "have" later in the sentence. And of course, I think it is wrong because the sentence starts out singular ("one of the unexpected....").

Thanks for the question, Ashley. I agree that the sentence sounds awkward, but the subject ("one") does agree with the verb ("has been"). It's tricky because the sentence contains a mix of singular and plural.

Overall it's a bad sentence that should be rewritten. It would be better to state what positive rewards you're talking about because at the moment this sentence is too vague. I'll just make up a reward as I rewrite (just for fun, I'm imagining that the training program is for budding archaeologists):

"Our students are midway through the training program and have unexpectedly learned how to deal with raging sandstorms as they dig for fossils in the desert."

This is probably not the reward that the writer was talking about, but you can tell that the rewritten sentence sounds a lot more specific, and there's no question about subject-verb agreement.

If you have a problematic sentence, just rewrite it! And be more specific while you're at it!

Criminal Sentence 211: A Couple Minutes to Think about Apostrophes

From a book I just read about hostages in Colombia:

"If a rescue attempt came, we’d have a couple minutes head start."

An apostrophe is missing after the word "minutes." This is a tricky use of apostrophes, but if you imagine the sentence says "a minute," wouldn't you automatically say "a minute's head start"? Yes, so in the plural it should be minutes'.

Sometimes you can avoid an apostrophe by using "of" instead, but it doesn't work here.You would have to reword:

"a two-minute head start"

It does work here:

I have ten years' experience.
I have ten years of experience.

Poll Results 33

This was the question:

What's wrong with this? "This book is dedicated to my wife whose love and support have made it possible."

Grammar 31 (32%)

Spelling 2 (2%)

Punctuation 63 (65%)

65% of you are correct. This sentence would be better with a comma after "wife"; otherwise, it suggests that the person has more than one wife and the author is thanking the one who provided love and support.

Grammar Girl Episode: Troublesome Contractions

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-odd-contractions.aspx

Criminal Sentence 210: Capable of Being Wordy

From the wordy files:

"The company is capable of..."

It doesn't matter what the company "is capable of" doing; the writer has succeeded in being wordy.

"Is/are capable of" means "can," so let's use that one word instead of the other three:

"The company can..."

Criminal Sentence 209: Needed: A Good Home for my "Who" Clause

From today's newspaper (in the movie-summary section):

"Paul Rudd stars as a man about to be married who needs to find a best man."

The writing world is filled with orphan clauses, mostly "who" and "that" clauses that need to match up with the noun they modify. In my book I talk about a trick to help you avoid this kind of misplaced modifier:

1. Find a "who" or "that" clause.
2. Look to the immediate left. If the word directly before "who" or "that" is the noun that the clause modifies, bingo.
3. Otherwise, you need to rewrite.

Take the steps as we look at the "who" clause in today's criminal sentence.

1. Find the "who" clause: who needs to find a best man."
2. Look to the left. "Married" does not go with "who."
3. Rewrite.

Many writers, especially published ones, don't seem to know about this problem, which causes confusing sentences, or at minimum imprecise ones. Do me a favor and forward this post to at least one writer who would benefit from this knowledge.

Criminal Sentence 208: Working Hard or Hardly Paying Attention

From a book I read lately (the man was grading some bumpy ground):

"After working all day, the ground was approaching level."

Both the sentence and the ground are bumpy here. By now you should know that this is a misplaced modifier. The ground was not working all day.

I'm still waiting to read a book that contains no misplaced modifiers. Seems like an impossible wish.

Criminal Sentence 207: Quadruple Threat

From something I edited yesterday:

"Care and attention is given to each and every customer that calls us."

Four boo-boos here.
1) "Care and attention" is a plural subject, so "is" is incorrect.
2) "is given to" is passive voice, which is not the best writing style. Who is giving?
3) "each and every" is a wordy way of saying "every."
4) "that" usually follows inanimate objects, not people, so I prefer "who" in this case.

Overall, a pretty weak sentence. No hope for rehabilitation here.

Poll Results 32

This was the question:

What's wrong with this? "Those of us who have experienced it, do not resist it."
Grammar 23 (28%)

Punctuation 55 (68%)

Spelling 2 (2%)

Congratulations to 68% of you. No comma needed in this sentence.

Is Modeling the Same as Writing?

I was watching America's Next Top Model and was surprised by something Tyra Banks said when critiquing a model wannabe:

"She’s the noun, not the verb. She looks like a model but she isn’t modeling."

What an astute statement. Strong verbs make good sentences; strong verbs must make good models, too.

So before you parade your sentences out on the runway, consider asking yourself if they're top-model quality.

Criminal Sentence 206: Think "Who?"

This morning I was looking in my local paper to see if I could find an error to showcase here. The front page was as far as I needed to go (this is a story about a nightclub that caters to plus-size people):

"When running a night that targets plus-size patrons, size matters."

Who is running the night? Not "size" I suspect.

When you're writing a sentence that starts with an "-ing" clause (such as "when running"), the word after the phrase ends--usually after a comma--should be the person/thing doing the action in the "-ing" clause. So, as far as "when running a night that targets plus-size patrons": who is doing that?

1. You notice you have an "-ing" clause.
2. You look at what follows the comma at the end of the clause.
3. You check that what you found in #2 matches up with the action depicted in #1.

Criminal Sentence 205: Dust out of Place

From a book I read:

"But sitting in the vinyl chair of a waiting room, the settling dust of my family’s collapse seemed unimportant."

I suppose dust could sit in a vinyl chair, but the writer ("I," most likely) is probably sitting there. I like the way that "the settling dust of my family's collapse" sounds, but it's in the wrong place. Here's a rewrite:

"But sitting in the vinyl chair of a waiting room, I realized that the settling dust of my family’s collapse was unimportant."

Criminal Sentence 204: Like, Totally

From a book I finished last week:

"Like getting on a boat, you wait for permission [to come into a room]."

This is a classic faulty comparison because the sentence compares "getting on a boat" with "you." Not really possible. I know we speak like this all the time, but when we write, it's better to be more precise:

"As when you're getting on a boat, you wait for permission."

This sentence compares "you" and "you." Like, totally correct!

Poll Results 31

This was the question:

What's wrong with this? "With enough money, we could buy a new van, instead of repairing the one that was seven years old with spit and glue."

Punctuation 36 (46%)
Grammar 31 (39%)
Spelling 0 (0%)
Wordiness 11 (14%)

Congratulations, 39% of you. The phrase "with spit and glue" doesn't belong next with "that was seven years old." In this case, you can't just move the phrase; you have to change the wording slightly:

"With enough money, we could buy a new van, instead of using spit and glue to repair the one that was seven years old."

Criminal Sentence 203: It's Not a Dress You Want

From a clothing Web site:

"With it's crisp linen and clean pintucks, you're sure to feel that spring is in the air decked in this effortlessly chic shift dress."

The dress sounds lovely, but the "it's" doesn't. "It's" is an abbreviation for "it is" or "it has," and that's not what the "it's" in this sentence should say. It should be "its," which is a possessive adjective.

I know it's easy to be careless, but I'd rather you were careful.

Criminal Sentence 202: Get Over Those Quotation Marks

From a book I just read (a book about being an ER doc):

How does one “get over” a mistake that cost another person’s life?

I don't know how ER docs deal with life and death issues, but I do know that you don't need quotation marks when you're using a colloquial expression such as "get over." They are "unnecessary."

I've always wondered why writers want to use quotation marks for words that are not quoted speech. If you tend to do this, can you explain your rationale?

"Thanks."

Criminal Sentence 201: Keeping Sentences Parallel

From a book I finished yesterday:

"He was smart, decisive and had sound judgment."

And a couple pages later:

"He has graying hair, a calm voice and never seems to hurry."

Both of these suffer from the same problem: The parts don't fit together right. Make a list and you'll see what I mean.

He was smart
decisive
had sound judgment

He has graying hair
a calm voice
never seems to hurry

Both sentences are missing a verb in the middle. One way to fix it is to add the missing verb:

He was smart
was decisive
had sound judgment

He has graying hair
has a calm voice
never seems to hurry

If you want to avoid repeating a verb, you can rewrite the sentence. One way:

Smart and decisive, he had sound judgment.
With graying hair and a calm voice, he never seems to hurry.

Criminal Sentence 200: Prepositions Suck

From today's paper (an article about an 80s band):

"The group split in 1989 due to a dispute over royalties that lasted for most of the 90s."

Prepositional phrases always get in the way. Here, "over royalties" comes between "dispute" and the "that" clause, causing a classic misplaced modifier. The royalties didn't last for most of the 90s; the dispute did. Just reword: "due to a royalty dispute that lasted..."

If you see a prepositional phrase and then a "that" or "who" clause, get ready to rewrite. For those of you who haven't read Chapter 5 of my book, please do so now and start spreading the word!!

Poll Results 30

This was the question:

What do you think of this TV slogan? "More movie, less commercials"

I know it's ungrammatical but I don't care. 15 (21%)

I know it's ungrammatical and I wish TNT would stop using it. 50 (71%)

I don't see what's wrong with it. 5 (7%)

For those who don't know what's wrong, the issue here is countable and noncountable nouns. You would say less sugar because sugar is not countable. You would say fewer commercials because they are countable.

I found this interesting couple of paragraphs in which the "fewer" and "less" situation is messed up at the end:

The airline industry flew fewer people in 2008 but treated them better, arriving on time more often and losing fewer bags. Passengers also were not as apt to be bumped from flights by overbooking, which was a big problem when airlines were running at or over capacity.

The downside: Less flights, higher prices — some airlines now charge extra for any luggage — and fewer frills.

Criminal Sentence 199: The County or the Girl

A song title I came across:

"Dry County Girl"

I thought this was a funny song title because at first I couldn't tell if the county or the girl was dry. Common sense tells me it's the county, but still I did a quick double take. A hyphen would clear everything up:

"Dry-County Girl"

Criminal Sentence 198: Commas Are Not Periods

From a Web site:

"Loading, please wait…"

The punctuation of this makes it sound as if someone is telling "Loading" to please wait, as in "Bonnie, please wait." These are two separate ideas and two separate sentences that need to be separated with a period, not a comma:

"Loading. Please wait."

I've seen this on a lot of Web sites in a similar form:

"Welcome, please sign in."

Use a period, thank you. I mean Use a period. Thank you.

Criminal Sentence 197: Ewes Yore Dick Shun Airy

From an article in a magazine:

"All they need are broaches for those dresses."

They don't need "brooches"?

"To broach" as in "to broach a subject" means to begin speaking about a subject. This is a verb.

"A brooch" is a decorative pin. It is a noun.

Many words sound alike but are spelled differently and have different meanings. Pleas ewes yor dick shun airy.

Poll Results 29

This was the question:

Do you accept this? "I wish you wouldn't do that," she grated.
Yes 48 (50%)
No 47 (49%)

I'm surprised that this many people accepted "grated" as a synonym for "said." As far as I know from looking in the dictionary, "grate" means "shred" as in cheese, not speak in an annoyed manner.

I read this kind of sentence in a fairly bad mystery and its sequel. It certainly grated on my nerves. I won't be buying any more books by this author. I encourage you to avoid using this word for "said."

Criminal Sentence 196: Five in Five Grammarians

From a magazine article:

"Approximately one in five adults suffer from allergic rhinitis."

Well, five in five grammarians would be allergic to this sentence. "One" is a singular subject. It's a bit tricky when you add a prepositional phrase into the mix: "in five adults." "One in five adults" is still a singular subject, so the verb should be "suffers."

One vs. You: Grammar Girl Episode

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/one-versus-you.aspx

Criminal Sentence 195: Wringing My Hand's

Written by a writer on a blog about publishing (which makes it even worse):

"Hand's down."

Perhaps Joe Schmoe is unaware of apostrophes or plural nouns, but a writer? Eek!

Quick review here:

contraction: Use an apostrophe. It is becomes it's.
possessive: Use an apostrophe. The bag belonging to Barbara is Barbara's bag.
plural noun: Do not use an apostrophe. My hands are cold.