Poll Results 101

Here was the question:

Which one is correct?

I do not appreciate your course language.	10 (9%)
This is a seven-coarse dinner.	7 (6%)
He made a course correction.	83 (82%)
Of coarse I love spelling!	1 (0%)

Congrats to 82% of you.

"Coarse" is an adjective that means rough.

Criminal Sentence 438: Where Have All the Commas Gone?

From a first-grade reader:

"First Turtle goes to the flower shop."

and

"Surprise Turtle!"

One of these definitely needs a comma; one is optional but reduces confusion.

The definitely needed comma is this:

"Surprise, Turtle!"

You need a comma before a word of address, as in "Hi, Bonnie" or "Thanks, Jake."

In the other sentence, an optional comma would avoid confusion:

"First, Turtle goes to the flower shop."

Without the comma, someone could read the subject to be "First Turtle," as opposed to "Second Turtle."

Criminal Sentence 437: Bad Sight

From a Web site:

"Post someone else's query to your sight."

This sentence makes my eyes hurt!

Criminal Sentence 436: Down with Bedbugs

From an online article about bedbugs (New York is number one in the USA):

"But it [Terminix] said the appearance on its list of smaller cities shows the insects that live in furniture, clothing and luggage, are getting a grip on the U.S. heartland."

This is a very awkward sentence, especially when it comes to the commas. There's also a problem with the word "that." Let's fumigate this sentence:

"But it said the appearance on its list of smaller cities shows the insects, which live in furniture, clothing and luggage, are getting a grip on the U.S. heartland."

That rewrite gets rid of the the immediate problems, but the sentence still sucks. Let's fumigate it further:

"But the insects, which live in furniture, clothing and luggage, appear to be getting a grip on the U.S. heartland, since they are showing up in smaller U.S. cities."

Criminal Sentence 435: Huh?

Over the weekend, I watched "Crash" on iTunes (good movie!). Each section of the movie had a subtitle. One was this:

"A really good cload"

At first I jumped at the opportunity to learn a new word, but when it wasn't in the dictionary, I said, "Oh! I should have known. A typo!"

They meant "cloak."

The "K" isn't anywhere near the "D," so I don't know how they made this error!

Poll Results 100

Here was the question:

Is something wrong with this text, seen on a sign off the freeway (about cars/trucks)? "four axels"

Yes	36 (78%)
No	10 (21%)

Congrats to 78% of you! An "axel" is an ice skating jump. An "axle" is a part of a car.

Friend Me on Facebook!

I just signed up for a Facebook account, Bonnie Grammar Nut, if you want to talk grammar!

Criminal Sentence 434: Interviews Given Where?

Seen online:

"[They will] list online interviews they’ve given on their website."

Does the writer mean that the people will list the interviews on the site, or will they give the interviews on the site? This is an ambiguous sentence because you can read it in both ways. I believe, though, that the writer meant to convey list the interviews on the site.

How do we fix it? The best option is to recast it:

"Their website will contain a list of interviews they've given."

Criminal Sentence 433: Afraid of Pain

From a Web site:

"Apply ice wrapped in damp washcloth until pain stops. No scaring will occur."

Good thing it's not Halloween!

Criminal Sentence 432: I Un-Like This

From today's newspaper:

"Unlike California, there is no time limit in Arizona."

Be careful with sentences that start with a comparison word such as "like" and "unlike." You have to be sure you're comparing the right things. This sentence compares "California" and "there," not what the journalist had in mind.

All you have to do is add a little "in":

"Unlike in California, there is no time limit in Arizona."

Criminal Sentence 431: Reaching My Limit

When I went to this drive-thru bank teller yesterday, I obliged, with only one "transation."

Poll Results 99

Here was the question (taken from a book I read):

Anything wrong here? "The deer carcass's stomach sack bulged out."

Yes 46 (65%)
No 24 (34%)

Congrats to 65% of you.

A sack is a bag such as what Santa carries.
A sac is a "baglike structure in an animal, plant or fungus, as one containing fluid" (dictionary.com).

Perhaps you thought "carcass's" was incorrect, but when you make a singular noun possessive, you add an apostrophe plus an "s"--even if the singular noun ends in "s."

The Great Typo Hunt

My parents alerted me to this book, by Jeff Deck and Benjamin Herson. I couldn't help but buy it because it seems to be about guys who drive around and notice typos. This scenario is very familiar to me (except for the guy part), because I drive around and notice typos. I just started the book and on p. 2 found these two sentences: "My qualifications for the job [copy editor] rested mainly on my ability to ferret out spelling and grammatical mistakes in text. I found that I was a natural, spotting typos with idiot-savant-esque regularity."

I have found a kindred spirit, or two! Have any of you found yourselves driving by and noticing typos?

Criminal Sentence 430: A New Perspective

From a Web site:

"perspective clients"

The correct word is "prospective," as in "prospect"--e.g., "This client is a good prospect."

"Perspective" means the way you view something: "I got a new perspective when I read the book."

Another Skool Problem!

How do you spell school?!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot/20100811/od_yblog_upshot/behold-americas-educational-system-captured-in-a-single-photograph

Criminal Sentence 429: Bak to Skool 2

From today's paper (a sub-headline):

"Dizzying array of changes greet students as classes start today."

Anyone see the error?

Criminal Sentence 428: Bak to Skool

Here in Arizona, kids go back to school tomorrow. Let's hope they learn some "compisition" skills!

Poll Results 98

Here was the question:

What’s wrong here (used in a car commercial)? “…ranked BEST in it’s class!”

Capitalization 4 (5%)

Spelling 12 (15%)

Punctuation 61 (77%)

Nothing 2 (2%)

Here is the photographic evidence:

"It's" not right!

New Grammar Girl Episode: The Word "Until": Is it ambiguous?

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/does-until-include-the-date.aspx

Criminal Sentence 427: You and Your

From a knitting kit:

"Clear zip pouch pocket for all you knitting needs."

I actually have no need for knitting (this is courtesy of a friend), but I do need you to check your "you" and "your"!

Criminal Sentence 426: Feeling Alone

From a book:

"The troops started to advance alone the coast."

By any chance, were the troops advancing toward a dictionary or toward a spell-check program?

Criminal Sentence 425: No, I'm Not with You

From Facebook:

"Whose with me?"

I'm not.

"Who is" or "Who has" becomes the contraction "Who's." "Whose" is a pronoun as in "Whose spelling is messed up?"

Criminal Sentence 424: It's Criminal

From an article about escaped murderers:

"In 1991, Province and Rodacker were on leave from jail when they attacked Norman Knoblich..."

Nothing grammatically wrong here, but this is the very definition of a Criminal Sentence. Since when do prisoners get to go on leave from jail?

Poll Results 97

Here was the question, which referred to the newspaper misspelling Dan Haren's name (Heron):

Can you excuse a newspaper for misspelling an athlete's name in a headline? (See associated post below.)

Yes	5 (10%)
No	45 (90%)

Well, you can imagine what my vote would be. I'd be interested to hear a valid excuse for the mistake!

Criminal Sentence 423: Testing the Scientists

Overheard on "Forensic Files":

"Metal shavings were discovered on his jeans, in his car and in his workplace. When tested, scientists discovered ..."

I would guess the metal, not the scientists, needs to be tested.

New Grammar Girl Episode: Parentheses and Brackets

Check out this new episode.

Criminal Sentence 422: New Discovery about Birth

From today's entertainment section in the paper:

"Josh Radnor ('How I Met Your Mother') was born to his mom 36 years ago today."

This is stunning news! His mom was involved in the birth? Alert scientists about this new development!

How about just say he's 36 today?

Criminal Sentence 421: I Came, I Sped, I Read

From something I read online (indicating a past-tense sentence):

"[I] sped read the manuscript."

That's a nice rhyme, but I don't think it's correct. The verb is "to speed read," not "to speed," so I believe the correct past is "I speed read."

Anyone beg to differ?

Criminal Sentence 420: Not a Good Note

From a Web site:

"Is he carrying a note-quite-concealed weapon?"

This is note quite right!

Picture That Goes with This Week's Poll

Please see associated poll.

Poll Results 96

Here was the question:

What do you think of this sentence? "Ariane watched him go with a sigh."

It sounds fine to me.	2 (3%)
It's definitely incorrect.	18 (34%)
It might be correct, depending on the context.	32 (61%)

I would agree with 61% of you. I couldn't include the long paragraph in which this sentence appeared, but it was clear from the context that the man left and the woman sighed. "Go with a sigh" makes it appear that the man sighed.

Criminal Sentence 419: Putting on the Brakes

From a health Web site:

"Hip fractures, or brakes in the bone, are another common cause of hip pain."

Both the idea of this sentence and the spelling are painful!

Criminal Sentence 418: Mindful of Spelling

From a book I read:

"Mindful of her mother's council..."

A "council" is an assembly of people such as the student council.
"Counsel" is advice.

Please take my counsel and check the dictionary!!

Criminal Sentence 417: Sleeves Getting Dressed

From a novel I read (set in the 16th century):

"Clad only in his trunk hose and loose-fitting linen shirt, his sleeves were shoved up to the elbows."

Hmm.

Is it only me, or do you ever find yourself reading a book and feel it necessary to write down an incorrect sentence?

Anyway, "his sleeves" were not clad in those two items!

Since I've pointed out many misplaced modifiers already, I think you guys should work on rewriting it.

Criminal Sentence 416: She's Got Legs

This isn't exactly a Criminal Sentence. More like a Criminal Picture.
Living in Arizona, I have the privilege of seeing these critters walking around in my house. I know for a fact that being arachnids, they have eight legs, not six.

Keep learning alive by getting the leg count right!

I guess I can excuse non-Arizonans for not being up on how many legs scorpions have. On the other hand, the artists who decorated a local freeway with pictures of local wildlife made the same mistake. I can't excuse them!

Poll Results 95

Here was the question:

Correct or not? From a daycare schedule: "Field Trip at 12:30 AM"

Yes	8 (13%)
No	52 (86%)

Congrats to 86% of you. 12:30 AM means thirty minutes after midnight, not a time you would think a daycare would have a field trip!

Criminal Sentence 415: Tick Tricks

From online directions for playing Spades:

"Example: South deals; West bids 3; North bids 1; East bids 4; South bids 4. The objective of North and South is to win 5 ticks (4+1)."

I would prefer no bugs, please!

Criminal Sentence 414: Problems Lying Down

From a health Web site:

"prostrate problems"

While I don't have a prostate, I do sometimes like to lie prostrate.

Those of you in the health field, watch out for this problem!

Reader Question: Irregular Verbs

A reader wants to know about this:

How about irregular verbs?
I decided to refresh my grammatical skills before starting university this fall, and I forgotten about those annoying irregular verbs and using some of them correctly...
Especially lie, lay, lain, laid, and etc... I tested some of my friends (and these are people with MBA, PhDs, etc) and I couldn’t believe how many of them didn’t know the difference or how to use them properly.
I don’t blame them though, because I was using the present tense of lie as lay until last week.


"Lay" and "lie" are easy to confuse. I did cover the different tenses in this post.

What other irregular verbs give you trouble?

Criminal Sentence 413: That Temperature Is Awry

Seen on a business advertisement:

"The hundred's are here."

True. It's going to be 110 today, but there won't be any apostrophes!

Poll Results 94

Here was the question:

Correct or not? "Mel Gibson's Lawyer: Oksana Made Abuse Story Up"

Yes 21 (24%)
No 66 (75%)

Congrats to 24% of you.

"To make something up"/"to make up something" is what's called a phrasal verb. Most of the time, and in this case, you are allowed to split the verb and the other word(s) in the phrasal verb. You can say, for example, "I looked the word up" or "I looked up the word." You may prefer one way over another, but both are correct.

Other phrasal verbs cannot be split. For example, you have to say, "Get on with it"; you can't say, "Get on it with."

The Writer Print Article: "5 Roadblocks to Good Writing"

Check out the August 2010 issue of The Writer, where you can read my article, "5 Roadblocks to Good Writing."

One reader is making her shopping list instead of pondering your plot. Another just slipped your book onto his shelf, thinking, “I’ll try again later, if I can make myself slog through this mess.” If your piece crashed and burned, maybe it’s because one or more traffic cones stood in the way of a good read. Learn how to navigate around them and keep your readers on board.

Traffic cone 1: too jumbled. When writing nonfiction, you must present clear and logical arguments. Readers don’t want to zigzag all over, so use your rough draft to map out the easy-to-follow route you’ll take. It’s natural for first drafts to meander and to repeat or omit information (you should have seen my first draft of this section!). When you arrive at draft two, you’ll know better how to present your material. Fiction gets mixed up, too. Perhaps you’ve described a character or setting twice, two snippets of dialogue are repetitive, or multiple characters serve the same purpose.

Whichever you’re writing, keep like ideas together. Follow an outline if you have to. If you’ve repeated yourself, move sentences about the same topic together and pick which version sounds best. Add missing supporting arguments if you haven’t fleshed out a point. Notice the last sentences of each paragraph in your draft. They may turn out to be good topic sentences (perhaps it took you a paragraph to figure out your point). Comb through your piece to find areas that lack logical organization.

Traffic cone 2: too dull. It’s dangerous to drive with cruise control because it lulls you into a monotonous rhythm. It’s the same situation with sentences that have similar structures. It’s boring for readers. It’s clear by now (if you’ve looked closely at this paragraph) that you shouldn’t start each sentence in the same way.

One time, use a compound sentence with two parts separated by “and.” Begin the next sentence with a long modifier. Sprinkle in the occasional long sentence (not too long, you hear?) and a few short, staccato sentences. Be daring and throw in a fragment to ensure your readers remain interested and awake.

Traffic cone 3: too general. You don’t want to follow the same route as everyone else. Most weak pieces don’t differentiate themselves; anyone could have written them. Think back to grade school, when you had to write a paper about your favorite film. Your teacher probably read multiple essays that began “My favorite movie is X.” Bor-ing! Stand out by avoiding platitudes, clichés, generalities and vagueness. Aim instead for imaginative vocabulary, and fill your work with examples, not generic phrases. Use specific verbs (cut down on “to be”) and precise nouns instead of relying on adjectives and adverbs. Give your work personality by adding your unique voice. (Nobody would mistake a Proust sentence for someone else’s.) Be concrete, and use more imagination.

Traffic cone 4: too inappropriate. You shouldn’t drive with the top down during a rainstorm. Neither should nonfiction writers obfuscate their upshot with an ostentatious lexicon. (That means don’t try to impress your readers by using fancy words or plowing through the thesaurus!) Deliver a nonboring piece tailored to your readers.

Novelists, too, need to pay attention—to their characters’ vocabulary and grammatical patterns. Most modern characters would not say “whom,” but a 19th-century one might. Read your dialogue aloud and ask yourself, “Would a real person with my protagonist’s characteristics say that?” Hey, it might be OK for a character to use improper grammar.

Traffic cone 5: too awkward. No reader wants to be distracted by distorted grammar, punctuation and spelling. Although some stuffy rules have been relaxed (yes, you may end a sentence with a preposition and start one with “because”), don’t veer off the conventional road too much. And don’t rely on your spell-checker to catch all potential errors.

You might have written the most poignant vignette or the most thoroughly researched piece ever, but if faced with syntactical gaffes and incomprehensible sentence structure, readers won’t get past your first page—or paragraph. These days, podcasts, websites and blogs, in addition to traditional books and magazine articles, make it fun to brush up on the rules.

Criminal Sentence 412: Friars

Thanks to ChildsPlay for this silly sentence:

"It only takes about 3-1/2 minutes per pound, and can be done on the driveway with a turkey friar...."

As ChildsPlay wrote, "A turkey friar -- what denomination is that?"

Criminal Sentence 411: The Reason I'm Wordy

From a blog post:

"The reason I’m writing this post is because..."

I think that the reason you're wordy is because it's habit.

I think that the reason you should cut, cut, cut is because it will make your writing less wordy and more enjoyable to read.

Criminal Sentence 410: Don't Sign Me Up

Two cringe-worthy signs I saw recently:

A store name:

What Ever

A sign that was advertising produce:

Tomato's

Whatever!

Poll Results 93

Here was the question:

When you read this headline subhead (about nominee Kagan), what is your assumption? "As Clinton staffer, confidence clear"

I assume Clinton is confident in Kagan's ability. 1 (2%)
I assume Kagan is confident in her own ability. 15 (31%)
I assume Kagan is confident in Clinton's ability. 3 (6%)
I am uncertain who is confident about what. 29 (60%)

My first impression was that Clinton was confident in Kagan. When I read the article, it reveals that Kagan is confident in herself. This subheadline could have been a lot better:

Kagan clearly confident when Clinton staffer

Criminal Sentence 409: Bears in the Hospital!

From a photo caption showing an unfortunate man who was attacked by a bear in Alaska (he is recuperating in the hospital):

"Robert Miller, 54, recovers from a bear attack in his hospital room in Anchorage."

How could they let a bear into the hospital room?

The naughty prepositional phrase "in his hospital room" is to blame for this ambiguity. It would be better to write this:

"Robert Miller, 54, pictured in his Anchorage hospital room, recovers from a bear attack."

Criminal Sentence 408: As a Parent, We Are Ungrammatical and Wordy

From a survey I filled out:

"As a parent who recently withdrew a child from one of our classrooms, we want to ensure that we gain an understanding of your decision and do what we can to improve our operations."

"We" cannot be "a parent." Thou shalt beware of "As" at the beginning of a sentence.

Thou shalt also not be wordy by saying "gain an understanding of"; just "understand" will do.

Let's reword the entire monstrosity:

"We would like to understand why you recently withdrew your child from one of our classrooms. Please fill out this survey and help us improve our operations."

Criminal Sentence 407: Hardworking Apostrophes

From a Web site:

"Why is The Little Mermaid such a popular children's' movie?"

I'm also wondering something else: Why did the the writer put it two apostrophes?

Criminal Sentence 406: Can Haircuts Have Names?

From a blurb in my local newspaper:

"... a 27-year-old woman with a bowl cut named Katie."

I thought that was hilarious! Her bowl cut was named Katie?

(If you're confused, search for "misplaced modifier" on this blog.)

Poll Results 92

I don't have results this week because the poll wasn't working, but I do want to explain the sentence in question, which was this:

Do you find this sentence confusing at first? "There seemed to be no danger for he had ordered the gate thrown open."

I read this sentence in a book and got hung up on the word "for," thinking it went with "There seemed to be no danger for..." as if a person would be named next. However, "for" in this sentence is synonymous with "because."

Guest-Written Grammar Girl Episode: Transitions

Check out this latest episode:

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/how-to-use-transition-words.aspx

Criminal Sentence 405: Punctuation Outsider

From a book I am reading:

"Outsider's impressions have been very useful."

A correct apostrophe would be useful also.

Even if we were talking about one outsider, "outsider's impressions" would be missing something. You'd need to say something like "The outsider'simpressions have been very useful" or "The impressions of an outsider have been very useful."

In any case, "Outsiders' impressions" is correct. Remember how many items you're talking about. Ask yourself if the noun is singular or plural.

Poll Not Working

I don't know why the poll started misbehaving mid-week, but I can't get it to work. If you voted already and want to voice your opinion on the question, please do so in the comments section here.

Here is the question:

Do you find this sentence confusing at first? "There seemed to be no danger for he had ordered the gate thrown open."

Yes
No

Criminal Sentence 404: Check for Ambiguity at Once!

From a book I am reading:

"The footmen took charge of any packages that were required at once."

The scene is 19th-century London: Passengers are getting ready to depart and the workers are loading bags. This sentence suggests that the packages were required at once, not that the footmen took charge at once.

Make sure that adverbs go next to what they modify, especially if more than potential words populate the sentence (here, "to take charge" and "to require"). In this case, I think I prefer "immediately":

"The footmen immediately took charge of any packages that were required."

Criminal Sentence 403: Completely Messed Up

From a book I read:

"Their sense of space and time are completely messed up."

What else is messed up in this sentence?

Those of you who read this blog regularly should have no trouble educating those who just signed up. Please do so in the Comments section.

Criminal Sentence 402: Terrible Violence;Terrible Typo

That's unethical!

Poll Results 91

Our question:

What's your reaction to this sentence? "I decided to write this book in the galleries of the National Museum of Prehistory."

It sounds fine to me.	8 (11%)
It sounds off to me but I'm not sure what is wrong.	17 (25%)
I laughed (a museum is a good place to write a book).	43 (63%)

Well, I was with the 63%. The sentence seems to say that the person wrote the book while he was in the museum. I highly doubt that. He was most likely in the museum when he had the light bulb of inspiration.

Criminal Sentence 401: Time for Lunch

Luncheon is on the buffet, not on the table.

Criminal Sentence 400: Let's Hear It for Periods (.)

From an announcement I received on my phone:

"Don’t be fooled by Amanda Baumgarten's sweet exterior, she's a gifted butcher currently working as a consultant in L.A. Let's hear it for the West Coast!"

Don't be fooled by that incorrect comma! Let's hear it for a period instead!

Reader Question

Someone asked me this question:

"[I] wanted a professional explanation of my tagline - The Education I Never Got. It is a play on words that I'm not even sure I should keep because it may sound just too unintelligent. So I was wondering if you could help me out on a good explanation of the sentence - why it works or doesn't work."

This sounds fine to me. Anyone else have an opinion?

Criminal Sentence 399: That's a Lie

From a book I'm reading (about Cro-Magnons):

"The ancestry of both the Neanderthals and Homo sapiens lie with much earlier peoples."

Hmmm. Take away the prepositional phrase ("of both the Neanderthals and Homo sapiens") and the error is obvious: "The ancestry ... lie..."

As I said in the title, that's a lie ("lies")!

Poll Results 90

Here was the question:

What's wrong here? "That'd change if she ever found out about you and I."

Nothing	5 (6%)
A preposition	5 (6%)
A conjunction	3 (3%)
A pronoun	68 (82%)
A verb	1 (1%)

Thanks to Bryan Adams for this (I've been wanting to complain about this since the song came out in the 80s).

Congrats to 82% of you.

Criminal Sentence 398: Not Loath to Loathe

From a book I read recently:

"The extraordinary thing about inventing a persona is that one is loathe to give it up."

I would like to announce the retirement of the error-prone word "loath," which means "hesitant or reluctant." It gets confused so often with "loathe," which means "despise," that it's time for it to go.

Or, people could remember the difference.

Criminal Sentence 397: Dead Apostrophe

From a book I'm reading:

"He was fourteen years' dead."

At first this might seem correct, but we need to bury that thought. Make it a single year and you'll see what I mean:

"He was one year/year's dead."

One year dead. Fourteen years dead.

This week's poll: Doofus alert

I was a doofus. Please see the newly corrected poll. If you already voted, please do so again. (Thanks, Sharon.)

Poll Results 89

Here was the question:

What's wrong here? "The skeleton was in tact."

Nothing	4 (4%)
Grammar	1 (1%)
A word error	81 (94%)

Guess this was too easy.

Intact is correct.

Criminal Sentence 396: Alma Mater Uh-Oh

From a Web site associated with my alma mater:

"We definitely came in knowing that Army was on a role."

Cringe!

"On a roll" means doing well.

"On a role" means you made a mistake!

Criminal Sentence 395: The Meaning of "The"

From a history book:

"Edward's great Abbey of Westminster became the spot where ... every monarch would be crowned except the 20th-century king, Edward VIII."

This sentence makes it appear that there was only one 20th-century king. Of course we know there were many. If you just delete the comma, all is fixed.

Let's see another example: "The 19th-century writer Charles Dickens wrote Oliver Twist." Dickens was one of many 19th-century writers. If he were the only one, we would have to write "The 19th-century writer, Charles Dickens, wrote Oliver Twist."

Criminal Sentence 394: Unpositive Appositive

From a history book I'm reading:

"His wife Bertha was a Christian, a Frankish princess who had brought her own chaplain from Paris."

The description "a Frankish princess who had brought her own chaplain from Paris" is what's called an appositive, meaning it gives more information about something. For example, in the sentence "Ellen DeGeneres, a comedian, is a judge on American Idol," "a comedian" is an appositive. The sentence wouldn't sound right if it read like this: "Ellen DeGeneres is a judge on American Idol, a comedian."

That's the same problem as in the incorrect sentence. The appositive would sound a lot better in the middle: "His wife Bertha, a Frankish princess who had brought her own chaplain from Paris, was a Christian."

Criminal Sentence 393: Less Lesson

From a book I'm reading:

“Worse, having been promised some lowering of the high wartime land taxes, the Parliament men were clamoring to pay less taxes, not more.”

I'm surprised this slipped through. I know we all use "less" when speaking informally, but in writing we need to be more grammatical, not less.

"Less" goes with uncountable items, such as sugar and milk.
"Fewer" goes with countable items, such as cookies and vegetables.

You pay less tax but fewer taxes.

Poll Results 88

Here was the question:

What's the primary reason you give up on a book?

Don't care about the characters.	9 (18%)
Plot is boring.	19 (38%)
Too many characters/book is confusing.	8 (16%)
Grammar is off/written badly.	7 (14%)
Other	1 (2%)
I always finish books no matter how bad they are.	6 (12%)

I'm with most of you, though I wish I could stick it out like 12% of you. But I feel life is too short to read bad books.

Criminal Sentence 392: Quickly!

From a parenting article:

"You've probably been told not to compare your child with anyone else's. But when she really seems to be lagging behind other kids, it's important to get her the help she needs quickly."

I imagine that this imaginary girl who is having trouble needs help quickly, but I think the article was trying to say that parents need to get her help quickly. The problem is that the adverb "quickly" is ambiguously next to the word "needs"; as I just said, it goes with "get her help."

See this post.

Criminal Sentence 391: The Rhythm Method

A few sentences from a book I'm reading:

"Charlie had three boys and two girls. The oldest boy was a sailor, the next was a fireman, who rode proudly on one of the new fire engines sent over from London. Young Sam helped his father."

I felt a disconnect when I got to "who rode..." because the sentences lost their rhythm. I wanted to see something like this:

"The oldest boy was a sailor, the next was a fireman, and young Sam helped his father."

The writer could have placed the fire engine detail elsewhere.

So not only do writers have to think about their grammar, punctuation, spelling and syntax, but they have to think about the rhythm of the words.

This writing stuff is hard!

Criminal Sentence 390: HIPAA HIPPA Hooray (Boo)

From a medical release:

Your Responsibilities Under HIPAA

In order to safeguard your rights under HIPPA...

It seems that someone was thinking about the word "hippopotamus"while typing HIPAA, which stands for the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act.

Those of you in the medical field should remember to stay away from the zoo!

Criminal Sentence 389: Gone Fishing (for the correct spelling)

From a book I'm reading:

"The whole colony was waiting with baited breath."

No fish here.

Not only is this a cliche, but it's spelled wrong! If you must use a cliche (well, you don't have to, do you?), please spell it right: "bated breath."

Poll Results 87

The question:

What's wrong here? "Being a detective lieutenant's wife has not leeched all rationality from my brain."

Grammar	18 (24%)
Wordiness	22 (29%)
Spelling	7 (9%)
Two of the above	28 (37%)

Well, I was going to say spelling only: "leeched" should be "leached."

Criminal Sentence 388: You'd Better Rite Right

Took a little longer today to come across a real doozie. From someone's comment in a blog:

"the right-of-passage"

Did someone ask permission to pass through somewhere or is this botched syntax?

Of course, if it's on this blog, it's botched syntax! It's a rite of passage, silly.

Criminal Sentence 387: Clothes Make the Dandy

From a book I am reading (with British spelling):

"Compared to the cheap travelling clothes of these passengers, he was quite the dandy."

This sentence compares "cheap clothes" to "he." Uh-oh.

Here's a better version:

"He was quite the dandy compared to these cheaply clothed passengers."

The sentence makes the writer!

Criminal Sentence 386: Gender Bender

From a book I am reading:

"Tall and thin, with jet-black hair combed dramatically away from his face, she found herself momentarily distracted by his cheekbones and lips as she approached him."

This sentence doesn't work unless the he/she is one person, which is not possible. In other words, misplaced modifier. Who has jet-black hair? The man, not "she."

Who wants to rewrite it? Feel free to make it two sentences if you can't cram everything in there. Let's call the players Louise and Harry.

Criminal Sentence 385: A Suspicious Sentence

From a novel I couldn't bring myself to finish because it was terrible (and not just because of this sentence):

"You'd look a less suspicious in my eyes if you did [cooperate]."

You can tell from this sentence that it was edited, but someone forgot to reread it after making the changes. I bet it originally said "a little less suspicious," but someone correctly determined that this was a little bit wordy. So I can't blame the author, but she did do a hack job on the rest of the book (I have to admit I reached only p50 or so). I usually give books more of a chance, but when I find myself skimming pages and saying to myself, "I don't care what happens," then I know I need to move on.

Poll Results 86

This was the question:

Is this sentence correct? "She effected an odd pose."

Yes	23 (30%)
No	52 (69%)

Congratulations to 69% of you. The correct word is "affected," as in "assumed the character or attitude of."

New Grammar Girl Episode: Adverbs

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/eliminate-adverbs.aspx

Criminal Sentence 384: Typo Trio

Three errors for your enjoyment/horror:

1. Did you hear about the suspected flub on Wall Street yesterday?

From my paper: "No one was sure what happened, other than automated orders were activated by erroneous trades. One possibility was that a trader accidentally placed an order to sell $16 billion, instead of $16 million, in futures, and that was enough to trigger sell orders across the market."

2. How about this one from the Hollywood Walk of Fame?

From my paper: "Former 'Seinfeld star Julia Louis-Dreyfus was guest of honor this week at a ceremony in which 'Julia Luis-Dreyfus was presented a star; the star was temporarily fixed for the event, NBCLosAngeles.com reports."

These one came courtesy of Mom and Dad:

3. A Disney boo-boo:

http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2010/05/06/girl-catches-disneys-grammar-error/

Reader Question: Hyphen

Should a hyphen appear in agreed-upon here:
 
Since 2005, TRP has presented a strategic plan to the
company and has worked in partnership to accomplish
agreed-upon goals.
Thanks!
 
Yes! It is a compound adjective describing "goals."

You're welcome.

Criminal Sentence 383: Long Baseball Game?

From my local newspaper (about the Diamondbacks):

"Ian Kennedy pitches 62-3 scoreless innings..."

I'd watched the game but still had to stare at this for a minute before I understood what it was talking about. I knew the game hadn't gone 62 and something innings. Try 9. It turns out that a hyphen isn't a slash: 6 2/3 innings.

Criminal Sentence 382: I Love Des(s)ert

Two sentences on the same page of a novel by a bestselling author:

1) "At least I got you to stay through desert."
2) "In another hour a younger crowd would straggle in for desert or fries after the movie let out."

A third sentence with the same error appeared near the end of the book.

When I saw the first sentence, I chalked it up to an error. The same error twice more made me wonder if the author and/or editor really thought that you spell "dessert" with one "s."

What do you think?

Poll Results 85

Here was the question:

Do you accept this sentence? "Here are a few of his wisdoms." (Refers to advice of a dead author)

Yes	17 (25%)
No	50 (74%)

I'm with the 74%. "Wisdom" is an uncountable noun (as are "sugar" and "thoughtfulness"), so it doesn't make sense to count how many pieces of advice the dead author gave.

It would have been better to say, "Here is some of his wisdom."

Criminal Sentence 381: What an Experience

The top line of a survey I saw:

Tell us about your "experience" with us.

Imagine your hands making the quotation mark gesture as you say this sentence. Did you have a good "experience"?

(As you can tell, no quotation marks necessary.)

Criminal Sentence 380: Latin Lesson

From a column in the newspaper (readers ask odd questions):

"Why do we use the a.m.-p.m. system for telling time? The 24-hour day (i.e. 1300 for 1 p.m.) that the military uses seems so much simpler."

For some reason we use Latin abbreviations in English. "Etc." is a common one. Two that often get confused are "i.e." and "e.g."

"i.e." translates as "that is," meaning you are restating something with more specific information. For example, I might say, "I have studied three languages; i.e., Spanish, French and Italian." In this example, I state that I studied three languages, and then I specifically state which ones.

"e.g." translates as "for example," meaning that you are giving an incomplete list. For example, I might say, "I have studied three languages;e.g., Spanish and Italian."As you can see, this is an incomplete list.

Have you seen the error yet?

Criminal Sentence 379: Colon-itis

Here is an example of an incorrect colon:

"Some common misconceptions are: a, b and c."

Just a space, please. It's the same thing with "include":

"Some common misconceptions include: a, b and c."

And definitely don't use a semicolon there!

Poll Results 84

This was the question:

How many words can you cut out of this wordy 12-word sentence? "Petroglyphs are images that are chipped into the surface of a rock."

One	2 (2%)
Two	9 (10%)
Three	10 (11%)
Four	22 (25%)
Five	44 (50%)

Congrats to 25% of you. This is how I would cut out words:

"Petroglyphs are images chipped into a rock's surface."

I cut these:

1) that
2) are
3) the
4) of

Criminal Sentence 378: Danger!

From a book I recently finished:

"The danger of this diagnosis and treatment are twofold."

The danger of subject-verb misagreement are twofold: Readers wonder how that sentence made it into print, and the writer looks ignorant.

"Danger"=Singular
"Are"=Plural

Criminal Sentence 377: Location Location

From a book I'm reading:

"After the introduction, he walked up to the stage, a small man, trim and owlish."

I object to where the writer placed the description of the man. "A small man, trim and owlish" sits next to "the stage," and it clearly does not describe that. Let's get the real estate right:

"After the introduction, the small man, trim and owlish, walked up to the stage."

Ah, much better.

Criminal Sentence 376: Dashing Dreams

From something I edited:

"[The company] has transformed their client's dreams into reality."

At least two problemas here.

1) Only one client? How sad.
2) Have anything uncliché-ish to say?
3) Some may argue that "their" does not match a singular company name. Others say that using the plural to mean the entire company is ok.

Criminal Sentence 375: Rewriting History

From a notice from my cable company regarding the program "The Tudors." These sentences concern Henry VIII, who married six women. Here are two sentences of background before the error:

"When his first wife, Katherine of Aragon, is unable to give birth to a son, Henry seeks a divorce--which the Catholic Church refuses to grant him. As a result, Henry severs England's ties from Rome, and severs many heads in the process!"

Now for the mistake:

"He then remarries the beautiful Anne Boleyn."

This bad sentence suggests that Henry had already married Anne. He married each wife only once. The writer should have written something like this:

"He then gets married again, this time to the beautiful Anne Boleyn."

Poll Results 83

This was the question:

What's wrong? "The only thing growing in abundance was chaparral and weeds."

Nothing	12 (13%)
Subject-verb agreement	36 (41%)
Another kind of agreement problem	36 (41%)
Spelling	3 (3%)

This was tricky. Congrats to 13% of you.

It isn't a subject-verb agreement problem because the subject is "thing" and the verb is "was." Those agree.

It can't be spelling because everything is spelled right.

The other choice is another kind of agreement problem. It is true that "chaparral and weeds" is plural whereas the subject is singular, but it isn't incorrect, tough I wouldn't recommend writing this sentence because it does seem awkward.

I would rewrite it in one of two ways:

1) Make the subject plural: "The only things growing in abundance were chaparral and weeds."
2) Recast the sentence: "Chaparral and weeds were the only things growing in abundance."

Criminal Sentence 374: Preposterous!

From a book I just finished:

A character asks himself "Any leads at all? Even preposterous one?"

A paragraph later:

"Preposterous or not, I needed to go to the police."

I have to say, that is preposterous!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, search for "misplaced modifier" on the blog.

Criminal Sentence 373: E Is for Proofreading

From something I'm reading:

"We breath it every minute of every day."

Just missing one little E.

Criminal Sentence 372: Head(line) Bashing

The headline of something I will be editing:

"A Leaders View"

This is not a good sign. May I admit that I dread reading the rest? But at least I'll be cashing a check eventually.

Poll Results 82

Here was the question:

Anything wrong here? "Take a peak at these items from our spring cleaning sale!"

Yes 51 (85%)
No 9 (15%)

Congratulations to 85% of you.
"Peak"=top of a mountain
"Peek"=look

I was disappointed to see this sentence on a writing Web site. :(

Criminal Sentence 371: Well, Then

From a blog (regarding how many queries the writer has in her inbox):

"I do believe I have fewer then 25 waiting to be read and responded to..."

"Than" is usually used in comparisons, as in "fewer than."
"Then" is usually used to indicate time, as in "Then, we went to the movies."

Sometimes I think this mistake is a typo, but then I truly think some don't know the difference between "then" and "than."

Is it a typo for you or confusion?

Criminal Sentence 370: On a Roll

From something I read:

"playing a major roll in the plot..."

A large bun was part of the plot?

Had to laugh at that one.

Criminal Sentence 369: What a Croc!

On a sign at a childcare facility:

"No crocks."

No crock pots for the little ones. I understand. But I suppose they meant those shoes with holes, called Crocs.

Criminal Sentence 368: Don't Waiver

From a book I finished recently:

"He continued to waiver."

To noun or not to noun. No, don't noun.

A "waiver" (noun) is something you sign to relinquish your right.
To "waver" (verb) means to show doubt, among other things.

Poll Results 81

Here was the question:

Is this correct? "She has a flare for the dramatic.""

Yes 29 (39%)
No 45 (60%)

Congrats to 60% of you.

Flare=Something you light when you want to signal for help: He lit a flare.
Flair=Ability or talent: She has a flair for grammar.

Criminal Sentence 367: Decimal Schmecimal

What a wonderful per-person price! Less than one cent each?!
It should be either of these options, as my third-grader reminded me when I mentioned there was a mistake on this item:

1) 99 cents
2) $0.99

Criminal Sentence 366: Your Errors Are Numbered

From a book I'm reading:

"... more than a 1,000 percent"

Oops. Just one of those, please:

"a thousand percent"
or
"1,000 percent"

Remember to proofread!

Criminal Sentence 365: Buy By, Error(s)

Thanks, Rick, for this link:

Headline at news site.

http://www.kndo.com/Global/story.asp?S=10045828&nav=menu484_5_4

Minors 15-17 Years-Old Can By Greyhound Tickets

Error 1: 15-17 Years-Old: No hyphen needed.
Error 2: By should be Buy.

Criminal Sentence 364: Infertile-Couple Alert!

Taken outside a video store. I couldn't just drive by without snapping this shot.

Poll Results 80

This was the question:

"Has this blog helped you with your grammar/punctuation/style/syntax?"

Yes 34 (89%)

No 4 (10%)

To the 10%, please let me know what else I can do.

Criminal Sentence 363: There are Capitalization rules

From an ad in the paper (this was a head):

"There is Help."

There are perhaps three ways to go with capitalization with heads:
1. Initial cap all words: There Is Help.
2. Initial cap only the first word and proper names: There is help.
3. Initial cap all words except articles (like "a" and "the" and short prepositions like "of" and "by"): There Is Help for Your Capitalization Problems.

The important Things are To be Consistent and to Not Capitalize randomly.

Criminal Sentence 362: Are You High?

From a writing Web site:

"[So and so] sponsors five high profile writing competitions."

O, Hyphen. Where Art Thou?

Of course I've carped on this before, but it hasn't sunk in.

Are these high profile writing competitions? No. That looks too naked.

Are they high profile-writing competitions? No. They're not taking place at altitude, and they're not competitions on how to write profiles.

Are they high-profile writing competitions? Oui!! They are writing competitions that this company believes are high profile.

Criminal Sentence 361: Experiencing Em Dash Symptoms

You can't just stick an em dash in when you want to pause. That's what commas are for. Em dashes indicate an aside or long break. If you want more information--search for em dash on this blog (that was an incorrect em dash just now).

Reader Question: Comma Use

A good question from a reader:

My name is Rishi, and I am a college student who is very interested in learning how to write grammatically-error-free prose. It is a tall order, but your blog (and articles in Writer’s magazine) have been very helpful teaching aids. I was introduced to your blog by way of the Grammar Girl’s website. After noticing that many of articles appearing on her site were guest written by you, I clicked on the link to your blog -- and have been hooked since.

I was wondering if you could please help me with this question: Why do many clauses that begin with the phrase “and that” have a comma in front of the conjunction “and?” Take, for instance, the sentence: “I wish it were raining a lot right now, and that the wind would blow fiercely more often.” I understand that a comma (and a conjunction) needs to be inserted between two independent clauses, but it seems to me that the second part of the sentence – which begins with the phrase “and that” – is not an independent clause. After all, we would never use the expression “and that the wind blows fiercely more often” in a stand-alone manner. I wonder, then, why is it that clauses of this sort have a comma inserted in front of them?

I would be very grateful for your insight, Ms. Trenga, and many thanks for your time.

With gratitude,
Rishi

p.s.: I hope that I have not committed an egregious number of grammatical errors in this email!

Rishi is right about commas and independent clauses. If you go by that rule, a comma before "and that" would not work. But... commas also indicate a pause, and if you have a long sentence, a comma can help the reader pause in the right place, so my view is that a comma would be acceptable in a long sentence. If, on the other hand, you have a somewhat short sentence like "I like it that you smile and that you laugh" then a comma would not be necessary.

Thanks, Rishi, for the question, and no, your e-mail message was not full of egregious errors!

Poll Results 79

Here was the question:

What is your relationship with your dictionary?

Whenever I come across an unfamiliar word or phrase, I race to look it up.	41 (56%)
I sometimes look something up.	29 (39%)
I don't own a dictionary and/or don't know how to access dictionary.com.	1 (1%)
I use my dictionary as a doorstop.	2 (2%)

Glad to see most everyone likes the dictionary!

New Grammar Girl Episode: Stacked Modifiers

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/stacked-modifiers.aspx

Writer Mag Column 20: Adverbs

Hanging around unnecessarily: Why you should eliminate most adverbs

Adverbs have a bad reputation. It’s not that we editors don’t like them. We have nothing to complain about when adverbs do their job successfully —that is, modify adjectives, verbs or other adverbs. We object, though, when writers rely on adverbs to do the work of strong verbs, or use them redundantly, or place them awkwardly. Only then do we want writers to trim their useless adverbs mercilessly.

Let’s quickly deal with adverbs that you writers can definitely cut: adverbs used carelessly as intensifiers. You could, for example, write "She smiled happily," but that would be redundant, and no one would smile happily while reading your (un)carefully crafted sentence. "Frowned morosely" and "jumped up and down excitedly" are other examples of repetitive verb-adverb combinations. Most of the time, a descriptive verb will suffice.

Now for a brief list of utterly useless adverbs. You really should cut these out: "extremely," "definitely," "truly, "very" and "really." You can totally use them, though, if your characters are surfers. Otherwise, avoid them mightily.

You’ll also hear complaints about adverbs that are used alongside verbs of attribution, such as "said," "asked" and "stated." Some overeager writers think they’re being clever when they tack on adverbs to their "saids," as in "‘I told you not to hit your brother over the head,’ she said angrily." Most creative-writing guides suggest sticking with a lone "said" most of the time. Let the substance of the dialogue get across the way it’s being said; don’t rely on an adverb to do it for you. So, when you peruse your close-to-final draft, critique your adverbs on a usefulness scale. If you could cut the adverb without irreparably harming the sentence, please do so.

Next we come to adverbs that are allowed to stay—but not in the position where they currently are. I’m mainly talking about "only" here. Consider this sentence:

Candace only edits on Tuesdays.

Here, "only" is next to "edits," which for sticklers suggests that the only thing Candace does on Tuesdays is edit; she does not write, she does not sleep, she does not eat. She only edits. Of course we all understand that the sentence means that Candace edits just on Tuesdays, but "only" is in the wrong position. It should come closer to "on Tuesdays." We have two choices: "Candace edits only on Tuesdays" and "Candace edits on Tuesdays only." Granted, misplaced "onlys" pop up in everyday speech, but in writing it’s best to be more precise and use "only" in the right place. Hint: The right place is almost never before the verb.

Adverbs unwittingly get misplaced elsewhere, too, especially when your sentence has two verbs and one adverb. Consider this sentence:

She was looking at the man thoughtfully.

The adverb "thoughtfully" clearly modifies "was looking." Things get a bit dicey if we add another verb, though:

She was looking at the man running thoughtfully.

Here, "thoughtfully" could modify two verbs: “was looking” and “running,” so the sentence could mean she was looking thoughtfully at the man, or she was looking at the man who was simultaneously running and pontificating. Most readers would likely assume that "thoughtfully" goes with the closer verb, in this case “running.” No matter the correct interpretation, you don’t want to leave your readers wondering. Rewrite as appropriate: either "She was looking thoughtfully at the runner" or "She was looking at the man who was running while thinking."

Finally, I want to mention the issue of hyphens with adverbs. Hyphens are useful for joining words that together describe a noun. Take this sentence:

The 10-year-old boy hopped on one foot.

Here, the two hyphens join up the three words to create one unit that modifies “boy.” A hyphen helps in this sentence, too:

The big-footed man had trouble finding shoes.

With “-ly” adverbs, though, you should ditch the hyphen because the “-ly” in the adverb automatically links up with the next word. Therefore, the punctuation in this sentence is incorrect:

The spiritually-inclined woman went to church.

Just a space there, please:

The spiritually inclined woman went to church.

Note, however, that if the hyphenated words come after the noun, you can get rid of the hyphens:

The boy who was 10 years old hopped on one foot.

Sadly, we are at the end of our hopefully not useless time together. Please rewrite these Criminal Sentences and send your carefully rewritten rewrites to curiouscase@hotmail.com:

1. That is a poorly-worded sentence.
2. I sandwiched myself between the woman and the youth who was eating uncomfortably.
3. “I hate spinach,” yelled the girl loudly.
4. There’s never been a better time to save on our custom built furniture, which is locally-made.
5. I only meant to eat one cookie, but I was very naughty and gobbled down the whole box hungrily.