A few sentences from a book I'm reading:
"Charlie had three boys and two girls. The oldest boy was a sailor, the next was a fireman, who rode proudly on one of the new fire engines sent over from London. Young Sam helped his father."
I felt a disconnect when I got to "who rode..." because the sentences lost their rhythm. I wanted to see something like this:
"The oldest boy was a sailor, the next was a fireman, and young Sam helped his father."
The writer could have placed the fire engine detail elsewhere.
So not only do writers have to think about their grammar, punctuation, spelling and syntax, but they have to think about the rhythm of the words.
This writing stuff is hard!
Ask Me a Question
If you have a writing, grammar, style or punctuation question, send an e-mail message to curiouscase at sign hotmail dot com.
Add Your Own Criminal Sentence!
If you find a particularly terrible sentence somewhere, post it for all to see (go here and put it in the Comments section).