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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Criminal Sentence 385: A Suspicious Sentence

From a novel I couldn't bring myself to finish because it was terrible (and not just because of this sentence):

"You'd look a less suspicious in my eyes if you did [cooperate]."

You can tell from this sentence that it was edited, but someone forgot to reread it after making the changes. I bet it originally said "a little less suspicious," but someone correctly determined that this was a little bit wordy. So I can't blame the author, but she did do a hack job on the rest of the book (I have to admit I reached only p50 or so). I usually give books more of a chance, but when I find myself skimming pages and saying to myself, "I don't care what happens," then I know I need to move on.

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