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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Criminal Sentence 417: Sleeves Getting Dressed

From a novel I read (set in the 16th century):

"Clad only in his trunk hose and loose-fitting linen shirt, his sleeves were shoved up to the elbows."

Hmm.

Is it only me, or do you ever find yourself reading a book and feel it necessary to write down an incorrect sentence?

Anyway, "his sleeves" were not clad in those two items!

Since I've pointed out many misplaced modifiers already, I think you guys should work on rewriting it.

3 comments:

Fennel Giraffe said...

"Clad only in his trunk hose and loose-fitting linen shirt with sleeves shoved up to his elbows, he stalked across the room."

ChildsPlay said...

Clad only in his trunk hose and loose-fitting linen shirt, he shoved his sleeves up to the elbows.

The Sentence Sleuth said...

Great job!