Criminal Sentence 532: Conscious vs. Conscience

From something I'm editing:

"He was haunted, as most people with a conscious would be."

A common word to get confused.

"Conscious" is an adjective that means awake; "conscience" is a noun that means the sense of right and wrong. I remember which is which by remembering that "science" is a noun, and "conscience" is a noun.

Criminal Sentence 531: A Man in Lingerie

From a book I'm reading:

"Dressed only in a t-shirt and panties, he then dragged her to his car."

I did a double take on that one.

Let's fix it:

"Dressed only in a t-shirt and panties, she was then dragged to his car."

I don't usually advocate using passive, but this seems to me the best way to fix it so there's no suggestion he was wearing panties.

Criminal Sentence 530: Dirty Deed

Reported in today's paper (Mariah Carey tweet):

"happy anniversary in deed"

I know that tweets are not rigorously put through a grammar checker (sigh), but she used one extra space there! The horror!

"Indeed" is one word--indeed!--unless you're saying something like "in thought, word and deed."

Poll Results 127

Here was the question:

"Do you get peeved when you read an error printed in a book by an NYT bestseller?"

Yes	27 (87%)
No	4 (12%)

Picky, aren't we?

Criminal Sentence 529: InAppRopriate Speling

From an app I use to post remotely:

"Lables"

Yes, "able" and "label" rhyme, but one is "le" and the other is "el."

Criminal Sentence 528: Alter-nate Reality

From something I'm editing:

"Instead of praying at the alter of most parishes, synagogues, or chapels, these hellions prayed at the foot of the porcelain alter."

I would alter that spelling (altar)!

Criminal Sentence 527: Go North

From a book I read:

"His weakened state was understandable given the hours he had spent crafting the bill and incorporating her edits, to say northing of the stress of working to elevate her to the presidency."

I have northing to say about this.

Criminal Sentence 526: Weepy Breakfast

From a book I finished:

"...what he's had for breakfast every morning for the last ten tears."

How could this have fallen through? I cry at least ten tears!

Poll Results 126

Here was the obviously too easy question:

Which is correct?

Your too old.	1 (1%)
Who's is that?	1 (1%)
Mom gave it to him and I.	3 (3%)
None of the above.	79 (94%)

94% of you are geniuses!

Criminal Sentence 526: Triple Threat

A ghastly sign in NYC.

Criminal Sentence 525: Punctuating Speech

From a book I'm reading:

"'We've landed at Garden City Regional, ready for phase two,' he said."

Ready for a period also?

Just because it's casual speech doesn't mean you can dispense with punctuation. Let's fix it:

"'We've landed at Garden City Regional. Ready for phase two,' he said."

Criminal Sentence 524: Stung

I was looking up info on honey, and found these two sentences:
"The knowledge that bee venom possesses medicinal properties has come down to us from remote antiquity. Written evidence, as well as the observations of many beekeepers and our own long experience, confirm the effectiveness of been venom in the treatment of rheumatic fever, neuritis and some other diseases."

Anyone want to tell me what two errors there are? One is obvious. One is less so.

Great Find by a Reader

Courtesy of Alan.

Double cringe!

Poll Results 125

Here was the question:

Which one is correct?

She peddled her bike to the market.	10 (10%)
She peddled her bike at the market.	3 (3%)
She pedaled her bike to the market.	29 (29%)
She pedaled her bike at the market.	2 (2%)
Two of the above	54 (55%)

Ah, the difference between to pedal (to use feet to move a bike) and to peddle (to sell). Congrats to 55% of you. The second (sold her bike at) and third (rode her bike to) options are correct.

Criminal Sentence 523: Cue up the Dictionary

From a book I'm reading (a character tells another to get a camera ready):

"Take manual control of camera nine and queue it up."

We're looking for the verb "to cue," which in this case means "to get ready."

A queue is a line, or a long braided ponytail.

Criminal Sentence 522: Twice in Two Years

From something I read:

"The fourth witness gave two accounts in 2001 and 2004."

This sentence seems to say that the witness gave two accounts in 2001 and two accounts in 2004, whereas I think the writer meant one in each year:

"The fourth witness gave two accounts, in 2001 and 2004."

You could also use a colon:

"The fourth witness gave two accounts: in 2001 and 2004."

Or even an em dash:

"The fourth witness gave two accounts--in 2001 and 2004."

Criminal Sentence 521: Sexy Golf Game

From something I'm editing:

"There were golf pictures of foursomes."

This sentence does not evoke what the author intended!

Poll Results 124

Here was the question:

Is there an error in this two-way conversation?

A: "Do I have all of your words?"

B: "You have our word, sir."

Yes	99 (62%)
No	60 (37%)

I would have to agree with 62% of you. "To have your word" is an expression meaning to promise, and you don't pluralize it just because more than one person is promising something. A should have said, "Do I have your word, everyone?" or something similar.

National Grammar Day Contest Winner!

Drum roll ...

The entry that made me laugh the loudest was Westley's:

"Leaking badly, the sailors abandoned the ship."

I'll bet they were so afraid that they were indeed leaking!

Congrats, Westley. Please e-mail me your address so I can get you your prize (curiouscase@hotmail.com).

Thanks to everyone for entering!

Happy NG Day!

Criminal Sentence 520: I Feel Tense

From a book:

"Something truly horrible was taking place now as it did back then."

When you have two things that happened in the past and one happened earlier than the other, then you put the first item in the past perfect (e.g., "I had eaten). However, doing only that still isn't enough for this sentence:

"Something truly horrible was taking place now as it had back then."

It still sounds weird. Let's fix it a bit more:

"Something truly horrible was taking place now, just as it had back then."

Still not perfect but we can't scrap the sentence completely.

Criminal Sentence 519: Agreement Is a Priority

We had some lively discussion about CS 513, so here's another similar sentence to consider:

"Their capture and successful prosecution was the top priority."

The question, again, is this: Is this one subject or two separate subjects? To me, capture is one thing, and prosecution is another. The police do one, and the lawyers do the other. Thoughts?

Criminal Sentence 518: Fashionable Wheelchair

From a book:

"The woman in the wheelchair wearing burgundy scrubs is lovely."

That's a cool idea: dress up your wheelchair!

Poll Results 123

The question:

Are you planning to watch the Oscars?

Yes	9 (26%)
No	25 (73%)

Guess you guys don't watch movies so much. No biggie.

National Grammar Day Contest

March 4 is National Grammar Day. In honor of this momentous occasion, you can win a free copy of Grammar Girl's book.

Here's how:

In the Comments section of this post, write a sentence that contains a hilarious misplaced modifier. An example of a misplaced modifier is "Flying around the room, I saw a bird."

The deadline is midnight Pacific time on March 3. I'll decide which one is funniest, and I'll reveal the winner on March 4.

Criminal Sentence 517: The Yes-Comma Rule

From something I'm editing:

"I was not aware of, nor prepared for the unspoken no-thinking rule."

A little baby comma is missing here. Anyone want to flex their punctuation muscles?

Criminal Sentence 516: Toppling Capitalization Rules

Courtesy of CNN:

"Historic Cathedral toppled in New Zealand quake"

I am sorry to hear that Historic Cathedral fell down. Except I don't think that was its official name.

Poll Results 122

Here was the question:

Is this right? "He died, leaving behind a widow and four children."

Yes	52 (71%)
No	21 (28%)

I think this is not correct. I think it should be "He died, leaving behind a wife and four children." She became a widow after he died, right?

Those who thought it was correct: What is your thinking?

Criminal Sentence 515: A New Kind of Night Out

From something I'm editing:

"...meet the girls for whine and cheese"

Now that sounds like fun!

Criminal Sentence 514: A New Phenomenon

From a blog post:

"a phenomenan"

There's this new thing called a dictionary! Use it, please!

Criminal Sentence 513: Presidential Boo Boo

From today's paper (a quote from Obama about Bush, a Medal of Honor winner):

"His humility and his decency reflects the very best of the American spirit."

Perhaps correct subject-verb agreement deserves some recognition, too!

"His humility" and "his decency" are two things, so they "reflect," not "reflects."

Criminal Sentence 512: Wearing a Bag

From a blog:

"a green baggie t-shirt"

An interesting garment! Unless this was a plastic bag, it should be "baggy."

Poll Results 121

Here was the question:

Correct or not? "The extent of death and destruction exceeded that of Dresden."

Correct	44 (62%)
Not Correct	26 (37%)

Congrats to 62% of you. The comparison here is between "extent," singular, and "that," singular. It's a match!

New Grammar Girl Episode: Commas with Adjectives

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/commas-with-adjectives.aspx

Criminal Sentence 511: Money Issues

From a book I'm reading:

"They looked over rows and rows of gold bars and banknotes worth hundred of millions of dollars."

This is about the Nazis.

This sentence isn't that evil, but an "S" is missing!

Criminal Sentence 510: What's in a Name II?

An error I see a lot:

"Edgar Alan Poe"

When you see the name Poe, think Allan: two L's and 2 A's!!

Criminal Sentence 509: What's in a Name?

From the Web:

"Martha Steward Living Magazine"

Did she change her name?

Criminal Sentence 508: A Whole Other Spelling

From a book I'm reading:

"Her role was to spy, to be the quiet mouse that slowly but surely chewed a whole in the foundation of the house."

I just about spit out my snack when I read that!

Poll Results 120

The question:

Which of these is correct?

Get ahold of yourself.	10 (11%)
She traveled to afar off land.	0 (0%)
I became apart of the family.	3 (3%)
More than one is correct.	5 (5%)
All are wrong.	67 (78%)

This seemed to be a hard one. Congrats to 11% of you. The phrase "ahold of" is actually correct. I had to look it up several times just to be sure.
The incorrect items should have been like this:
a far-off land
a part of the family

Criminal Sentence 507: What Is Passive?

From a blog post about what not to do in a first paragraph:

"Passive voice. As in 'he/she was', or 'he/she had'. I'd say, as a rule, if you have 'had' or 'was' anywhere in your first paragraph (or even your first SENTENCE), take 'em out. And obviously, over-use of either throughout a manuscript is a no-no."

Overall, this is good advice, but "he/she was" and "he/she had" are not passive voice constructions. "She was kissed by the man" is passive voice. The writer meant "Don't use weak verbs."

Also, the period goes inside the quotation mark in American English.

Also, overuse is one word with no hyphen.

Janet Reid's Most Recent Contest

I summoned my inner pervert and got on the finalists' list of her contest. Woo hoo!

Criminal Sentence 506: That Sentence Needs a Haircut

From a blog post:

"the shear volume..."

No shears involved. Two "E's" should be involved: "sheer."

Criminal Sentence 505: Aaah, My Eyes!

From a blog post:

"My eyes glossed over."

My tongue hung out in disbelief (well, not really).

This is mixed up. You gloss over something when you explain something away. Your eyes glaze over when they're tired.

Criminal Sentence 504: The Difference an M Makes

From a class handout:

"Warming! This syllabus is designed to be read!"

And proofread?

Poll Results 119

Here was our question:

Is this sentence incorrect? "They crashed to the ground, taking all fourteen crew to their death."

Definitely yes	44 (48%)
Definitely no	33 (36%)
Maybe	14 (15%)

Tricky. I would go with maybe. "Deaths" sounds better, but it's not wrong to say "death." For more info on this topic, see here.

Criminal Sentence 503: Blockhead Headline

A headline in today's paper:

"Space blocks them off, but the sun does make sounds"

Don't put the cart before the horse. In other words, don't put the pronoun before its antecedent! You can't replace something that hasn't been mentioned yet!

Criminal Sentence 502: Fiction on Fire

An odd sentence from a blog post:

"Many of the books have a flare of women’s fiction in them..."

I think the writer meant "a hint of women's fiction." She probably didn't mean something that is lit.

Criminal Sentence 501: Being of the Grammatical Persuasion

From today's paper:

"Being of the male persuasion, it is hardly in my interest to make men look dumb. Or at least dumber than we are."

I won't argue with you. "Being of the male persuasion, I..."

Criminal Sentence 500: My Name Is Boring

One of my writing students had to write a one-page essay about herself and her career goals.

She began "My name is."

Criminally uninteresting! I helped her rewrite it, and it turned out very well.

Poll Results 118

The question:

How many errors, if any, does this pair of sentences contain? "Some of the girls ask her who she likes. She demures and instead directs her gaze at me."

0	9 (15%)
1	17 (29%)
2	24 (41%)
3	8 (13%)

The answer:

Error 1: Our friend "whom" is missing in the first sentence: "Some of the girls ask her whom she likes." Now, I know that "whom" is becoming unfashionable, but it does have its uses, as in "To whom it may concern."
Error 2: The verb "demures" (not a real word) should be "demurs." "To demur" means to object or take exception to something. The adjective "demure" means reserved.

Criminal Sentence 499: Un-princely Error

From an AP story about Prince Charles and the succession:

"Any legal change would not effect Prince Charles."

Does poor spelling affect the monarchy?

Criminal Sentence 498: Word Invention

A headline in today's paper (for an article about legalizing gambling at horse and dog tracks):

"Measure would legalize racinos"

Will this word be a real word in the future?

Criminal Sentence 497: Calling All Sailors

From a book:

"He swaggers back to his fellow naval-baring delinquents."

At least it didn't say "naval-bearing."

Oops!

Check out this headline!

Criminal Sentence 496: I Want to Close My Eyes

From a book:

"You kind of get sick of the site of them."

My site is my location; my sight is my ability to see.

I'm kinda sick of the sight of typos!

Poll Results 117

Here was the question:

Is something wrong here? "I stepped over the tangle of black chords on the floor."

Yes	50 (71%)
No	20 (28%)

Congrats to 71% of you. "Chords" should be "cords."

Criminal Sentence 495: Not Your Standard Sentence

From a book:

"It is your standard stationary shop."

So the shop is stationary--does not move?

Stationery--with an e--refers to paper on which you write letters. I remember that it has an e because letters contains only e's.

Criminal Sentence 494: Bear with Me

From a book I read:

"My classified ad has born fruit."

"to be born" = to come out of mama: I wasn't born yesterday.
"to bear" = to manage/deal with: I have borne many tragedies.

Criminal Sentence 493: A New Instrument

From a book I just finished:

"There were glittery girls waving, as well as an accordian player."

But was there a dictionary?

Criminal Sentence 492: This Site Make Me Complain

From a newsletter for paralegals:

Grammar Tips — Grammar is Fun

Well it should be and this site make it just that.

Maybe they should check their subject-verb agreement before they mention grammar!

Poll Results 116

Here was the question:

What's the error in this sentence called? "That's free money take advantage of it."

Comma splice	14 (21%)
Run on sentence	50 (76%)
Incomplete sentence	0 (0%)
Overly long sentence	0 (0%)
I call it just fine.	1 (1%)

I guess that was too easy. It's not a comma splice because there's no comma!

Guest Post: Verbification

This is a guest post from Daniel Koontz, author of Quick Writing Tips and Casual Kitchen:

Don't tase me bro!

Sentences like this explain why grammarians suffer.

Of course, the verb to tase is a textbook example of a verbified noun. A strict grammarian would prefer shocked by a taser or subdued by a taser instead.

Unfortunately, both substitutes are wordy and unwieldy, and neither improves upon the original. It's also questionable whether tase is even incorrect. After all, common usage allows the word gunned or knifed, both of which are examples of verbified nouns.

So what's the rule? There isn't one--at least not a clear one that shows the boundary between proper grammar and sounding like a tool. You must rely on your own ear.

Many nouns have lately been pressed into service as verbs. Not all are bad, but all are suspect.
--Strunk & White, The Elements of Style

Another Writing Blog to Investigate

Just reconnected with a friend who does a writing blog: quickwritingtips.blogspot.com. Check it out!

Criminal Sentence 491: Frequent Error

From today's newspaper (about Southwest's new frequent-flier program):

"Cashing in an award will become drastically different under the new program and will look more similar to other airlines' programs."

What exactly is this sentence comparing?

Cashing in an award

will look more similar to

other airlines' programs

Let's just scrap this icky sentence. Anyone want to try to rewrite it?

Criminal Sentence 490: Under a Proofreader's Care

During the Christmas holiday, I spent way too much time (thanks, kids) at the Natural History Museum's live bug area. I got to see two tarantula feedings. Anyway, to distract myself from seeing my daughter sidling up to a live bug, I looked for typos. Voila.

Criminal Sentence 489: Faux Fo

I am not one of them, they who don't proofread their headlines.

Poll Results 115

Here was the question:

What's wrong here? "Cave bears began to move from their old territories, according to a DNA analysis led by researchers at the Max Planck Institute in Leipzig of teeth found near the Danube River."

Spelling	0 (0%)
Misplaced Modifier	26 (78%)
Verb Use	2 (6%)
None of the Above	5 (15%)

Congrats to 78%. I hope it was obvious that this was a very awkward sentence!

Criminal Sentence 488: A The An Article Problem

From CNN:

"Stuck on a the tarmac for hours"

I guess the CNN graphics writer couldn't decide which article (a/the/an) to use.

Criminal Sentence 487: Kids Can't Eat Here

Not really a Criminal Sentence, but funny.

From my online banking list of credit card purchases:

"RESTAURANT ASS41222472"

I must have eaten at a restaurant, but it wasn't called that!

Criminal Sentence 486: That's Un-exceptable

From something I edited recently:

"The use of CO2 to clean graphite has been an excepted practice for over twenty years."

I take exception to that!

These two words sound alike but mean different things:

"accepted": related to "accept," meaning to receive with approval--We have accepted you into our club.
"excepted": related to "except," meaning anything but that--We like all of you, present company excepted.

Criminal Sentence 485: Typo or Error?

From an e-mail message:

"You could use more then one."

I used to think this was just a typo, but then someone told me she'd always thought "then" was correct. Nope! It's "than" when you're saying "more than."

Here was the question:

Is a punctuation mark incorrect here? "At Christmas, the Germans baked squares of lebkuchen, or honey cake; loaves of stollen, a sweetbread studded with raisins, and trays of pfeffernusse, peppery spice cookies coated in sugar syrup."

Yes	47 (73%)
No	17 (26%)

Congrats to 73% of you.

As you can tell, this sentence contains an overabundance of commas here. The one semicolon is lonely and needs another friend:

"At Christmas, the Germans baked squares of lebkuchen, or honey cake; loaves of stollen, a sweetbread studded with raisins; and trays of pfeffernusse, peppery spice cookies coated in sugar syrup."

Sounds yummy!

Grammar Girl Episode: Just Deserts or Just Desserts?

New episode written by yours truly!

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/just-desert-or-just-dessert.aspx

Criminal Sentence 484: Digit Down

From the newspaper:

"He gave a thumb's up."

A minor quibble here: It should be "thumbs up."

Criminal Sentence 483: Joint Gymnastics

From a sign:

"Men and Women's Gymnastics"

Gymnastics doesn't work this way. The men are separate from the women. They don't share the equipment, nor do they share an apostrophe. They each need their own:

Men's and Women's Gymnastics

Criminal Sentence 482: Boys Having Babies

From a book I'm reading:

"The next day he became a grandfather when his son (BJ) gave birth to a son."

The book was not science fiction!

As far as I know, only ladies can give birth.

Double Reader Question

Here is the double question:

Only that often times I see "often times" and "life like" written as two words: "often times," "life like." I assume in such a context as "That's a lifelike doll," they're compound words, and I can't think of a way to say them as two words. Tell me if I'm wrong!

The short answer for both is that each is one word: oftentimes and lifelike.

You might consider using just the word often instead of oftentimes: fewer letters.

Poll Results 114

Here was the question:

What's the best way to rewrite this? "As the owner of your business, it is imperative that you learn about the business."

As the owner of your business, it is imperative that you learn about it. 13 (21%)
As the owner of your business, you must learn about the business. 12 (20%)
As the owner of your business, you must learn about it. 27 (45%)
No rewriting necessary. 9 (13%)

Congrats to 45% of you. The initial problem here is that "it" can't follow "As the owner of your business." "You" needs to go there. The second item to be concerned about is the repetition of the word "business." Therefore, the third choice is best.

Criminal Sentence 481: Painter or Police Officer?

From a book I'm reading:

"I'll canvas the area over there."

Oh, and this was spoken by a police officer.

To canvass, with two S's, is to inquire, as in to canvass the neighborhood by knocking door to door and asking residents questions.

Canvas, on the other hand, isn't a verb. It's a noun and it's that thing on which painters create their art. Or maybe someone is going to put canvas on that area over there.

Reader Question: Pickup vs Pick up

Carrie's question:

I have to go research pick up vs. pickup, as in "your pictures will be ready for..."

Pickup with no space is a noun, so you use that with "Your pictures will be ready for pickup." It can also be an adjective: " a pickup game of baseball"
To pick up is a verb, so you would say, "I will pick you up at 10:00."

I have covered this topic before: here, here and here.

Criminal Sentence 480: Fishy Comma

From a book I'm reading (this sentence refers to herring):

"In its fresh form, this small, silvery fish (cousin to the sardine), figured prominently in the local diet."

Hmmm. There's something fishy about that last comma! Delete! Delete!