Poll Results 95

Here was the question:

Correct or not? From a daycare schedule: "Field Trip at 12:30 AM"

Yes	8 (13%)
No	52 (86%)

Congrats to 86% of you. 12:30 AM means thirty minutes after midnight, not a time you would think a daycare would have a field trip!

Criminal Sentence 415: Tick Tricks

From online directions for playing Spades:

"Example: South deals; West bids 3; North bids 1; East bids 4; South bids 4. The objective of North and South is to win 5 ticks (4+1)."

I would prefer no bugs, please!

Criminal Sentence 414: Problems Lying Down

From a health Web site:

"prostrate problems"

While I don't have a prostate, I do sometimes like to lie prostrate.

Those of you in the health field, watch out for this problem!

Reader Question: Irregular Verbs

A reader wants to know about this:

How about irregular verbs?
I decided to refresh my grammatical skills before starting university this fall, and I forgotten about those annoying irregular verbs and using some of them correctly...
Especially lie, lay, lain, laid, and etc... I tested some of my friends (and these are people with MBA, PhDs, etc) and I couldn’t believe how many of them didn’t know the difference or how to use them properly.
I don’t blame them though, because I was using the present tense of lie as lay until last week.


"Lay" and "lie" are easy to confuse. I did cover the different tenses in this post.

What other irregular verbs give you trouble?

Criminal Sentence 413: That Temperature Is Awry

Seen on a business advertisement:

"The hundred's are here."

True. It's going to be 110 today, but there won't be any apostrophes!

Poll Results 94

Here was the question:

Correct or not? "Mel Gibson's Lawyer: Oksana Made Abuse Story Up"

Yes 21 (24%)
No 66 (75%)

Congrats to 24% of you.

"To make something up"/"to make up something" is what's called a phrasal verb. Most of the time, and in this case, you are allowed to split the verb and the other word(s) in the phrasal verb. You can say, for example, "I looked the word up" or "I looked up the word." You may prefer one way over another, but both are correct.

Other phrasal verbs cannot be split. For example, you have to say, "Get on with it"; you can't say, "Get on it with."

The Writer Print Article: "5 Roadblocks to Good Writing"

Check out the August 2010 issue of The Writer, where you can read my article, "5 Roadblocks to Good Writing."

One reader is making her shopping list instead of pondering your plot. Another just slipped your book onto his shelf, thinking, “I’ll try again later, if I can make myself slog through this mess.” If your piece crashed and burned, maybe it’s because one or more traffic cones stood in the way of a good read. Learn how to navigate around them and keep your readers on board.

Traffic cone 1: too jumbled. When writing nonfiction, you must present clear and logical arguments. Readers don’t want to zigzag all over, so use your rough draft to map out the easy-to-follow route you’ll take. It’s natural for first drafts to meander and to repeat or omit information (you should have seen my first draft of this section!). When you arrive at draft two, you’ll know better how to present your material. Fiction gets mixed up, too. Perhaps you’ve described a character or setting twice, two snippets of dialogue are repetitive, or multiple characters serve the same purpose.

Whichever you’re writing, keep like ideas together. Follow an outline if you have to. If you’ve repeated yourself, move sentences about the same topic together and pick which version sounds best. Add missing supporting arguments if you haven’t fleshed out a point. Notice the last sentences of each paragraph in your draft. They may turn out to be good topic sentences (perhaps it took you a paragraph to figure out your point). Comb through your piece to find areas that lack logical organization.

Traffic cone 2: too dull. It’s dangerous to drive with cruise control because it lulls you into a monotonous rhythm. It’s the same situation with sentences that have similar structures. It’s boring for readers. It’s clear by now (if you’ve looked closely at this paragraph) that you shouldn’t start each sentence in the same way.

One time, use a compound sentence with two parts separated by “and.” Begin the next sentence with a long modifier. Sprinkle in the occasional long sentence (not too long, you hear?) and a few short, staccato sentences. Be daring and throw in a fragment to ensure your readers remain interested and awake.

Traffic cone 3: too general. You don’t want to follow the same route as everyone else. Most weak pieces don’t differentiate themselves; anyone could have written them. Think back to grade school, when you had to write a paper about your favorite film. Your teacher probably read multiple essays that began “My favorite movie is X.” Bor-ing! Stand out by avoiding platitudes, clichés, generalities and vagueness. Aim instead for imaginative vocabulary, and fill your work with examples, not generic phrases. Use specific verbs (cut down on “to be”) and precise nouns instead of relying on adjectives and adverbs. Give your work personality by adding your unique voice. (Nobody would mistake a Proust sentence for someone else’s.) Be concrete, and use more imagination.

Traffic cone 4: too inappropriate. You shouldn’t drive with the top down during a rainstorm. Neither should nonfiction writers obfuscate their upshot with an ostentatious lexicon. (That means don’t try to impress your readers by using fancy words or plowing through the thesaurus!) Deliver a nonboring piece tailored to your readers.

Novelists, too, need to pay attention—to their characters’ vocabulary and grammatical patterns. Most modern characters would not say “whom,” but a 19th-century one might. Read your dialogue aloud and ask yourself, “Would a real person with my protagonist’s characteristics say that?” Hey, it might be OK for a character to use improper grammar.

Traffic cone 5: too awkward. No reader wants to be distracted by distorted grammar, punctuation and spelling. Although some stuffy rules have been relaxed (yes, you may end a sentence with a preposition and start one with “because”), don’t veer off the conventional road too much. And don’t rely on your spell-checker to catch all potential errors.

You might have written the most poignant vignette or the most thoroughly researched piece ever, but if faced with syntactical gaffes and incomprehensible sentence structure, readers won’t get past your first page—or paragraph. These days, podcasts, websites and blogs, in addition to traditional books and magazine articles, make it fun to brush up on the rules.

Criminal Sentence 412: Friars

Thanks to ChildsPlay for this silly sentence:

"It only takes about 3-1/2 minutes per pound, and can be done on the driveway with a turkey friar...."

As ChildsPlay wrote, "A turkey friar -- what denomination is that?"

Criminal Sentence 411: The Reason I'm Wordy

From a blog post:

"The reason I’m writing this post is because..."

I think that the reason you're wordy is because it's habit.

I think that the reason you should cut, cut, cut is because it will make your writing less wordy and more enjoyable to read.

Criminal Sentence 410: Don't Sign Me Up

Two cringe-worthy signs I saw recently:

A store name:

What Ever

A sign that was advertising produce:

Tomato's

Whatever!

Poll Results 93

Here was the question:

When you read this headline subhead (about nominee Kagan), what is your assumption? "As Clinton staffer, confidence clear"

I assume Clinton is confident in Kagan's ability. 1 (2%)
I assume Kagan is confident in her own ability. 15 (31%)
I assume Kagan is confident in Clinton's ability. 3 (6%)
I am uncertain who is confident about what. 29 (60%)

My first impression was that Clinton was confident in Kagan. When I read the article, it reveals that Kagan is confident in herself. This subheadline could have been a lot better:

Kagan clearly confident when Clinton staffer

Criminal Sentence 409: Bears in the Hospital!

From a photo caption showing an unfortunate man who was attacked by a bear in Alaska (he is recuperating in the hospital):

"Robert Miller, 54, recovers from a bear attack in his hospital room in Anchorage."

How could they let a bear into the hospital room?

The naughty prepositional phrase "in his hospital room" is to blame for this ambiguity. It would be better to write this:

"Robert Miller, 54, pictured in his Anchorage hospital room, recovers from a bear attack."

Criminal Sentence 408: As a Parent, We Are Ungrammatical and Wordy

From a survey I filled out:

"As a parent who recently withdrew a child from one of our classrooms, we want to ensure that we gain an understanding of your decision and do what we can to improve our operations."

"We" cannot be "a parent." Thou shalt beware of "As" at the beginning of a sentence.

Thou shalt also not be wordy by saying "gain an understanding of"; just "understand" will do.

Let's reword the entire monstrosity:

"We would like to understand why you recently withdrew your child from one of our classrooms. Please fill out this survey and help us improve our operations."

Criminal Sentence 407: Hardworking Apostrophes

From a Web site:

"Why is The Little Mermaid such a popular children's' movie?"

I'm also wondering something else: Why did the the writer put it two apostrophes?

Criminal Sentence 406: Can Haircuts Have Names?

From a blurb in my local newspaper:

"... a 27-year-old woman with a bowl cut named Katie."

I thought that was hilarious! Her bowl cut was named Katie?

(If you're confused, search for "misplaced modifier" on this blog.)

Poll Results 92

I don't have results this week because the poll wasn't working, but I do want to explain the sentence in question, which was this:

Do you find this sentence confusing at first? "There seemed to be no danger for he had ordered the gate thrown open."

I read this sentence in a book and got hung up on the word "for," thinking it went with "There seemed to be no danger for..." as if a person would be named next. However, "for" in this sentence is synonymous with "because."

Guest-Written Grammar Girl Episode: Transitions

Check out this latest episode:

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/how-to-use-transition-words.aspx

Criminal Sentence 405: Punctuation Outsider

From a book I am reading:

"Outsider's impressions have been very useful."

A correct apostrophe would be useful also.

Even if we were talking about one outsider, "outsider's impressions" would be missing something. You'd need to say something like "The outsider'simpressions have been very useful" or "The impressions of an outsider have been very useful."

In any case, "Outsiders' impressions" is correct. Remember how many items you're talking about. Ask yourself if the noun is singular or plural.

Poll Not Working

I don't know why the poll started misbehaving mid-week, but I can't get it to work. If you voted already and want to voice your opinion on the question, please do so in the comments section here.

Here is the question:

Do you find this sentence confusing at first? "There seemed to be no danger for he had ordered the gate thrown open."

Yes
No

Criminal Sentence 404: Check for Ambiguity at Once!

From a book I am reading:

"The footmen took charge of any packages that were required at once."

The scene is 19th-century London: Passengers are getting ready to depart and the workers are loading bags. This sentence suggests that the packages were required at once, not that the footmen took charge at once.

Make sure that adverbs go next to what they modify, especially if more than potential words populate the sentence (here, "to take charge" and "to require"). In this case, I think I prefer "immediately":

"The footmen immediately took charge of any packages that were required."

Criminal Sentence 403: Completely Messed Up

From a book I read:

"Their sense of space and time are completely messed up."

What else is messed up in this sentence?

Those of you who read this blog regularly should have no trouble educating those who just signed up. Please do so in the Comments section.

Criminal Sentence 402: Terrible Violence;Terrible Typo

That's unethical!

Poll Results 91

Our question:

What's your reaction to this sentence? "I decided to write this book in the galleries of the National Museum of Prehistory."

It sounds fine to me.	8 (11%)
It sounds off to me but I'm not sure what is wrong.	17 (25%)
I laughed (a museum is a good place to write a book).	43 (63%)

Well, I was with the 63%. The sentence seems to say that the person wrote the book while he was in the museum. I highly doubt that. He was most likely in the museum when he had the light bulb of inspiration.

Criminal Sentence 401: Time for Lunch

Luncheon is on the buffet, not on the table.

Criminal Sentence 400: Let's Hear It for Periods (.)

From an announcement I received on my phone:

"Don’t be fooled by Amanda Baumgarten's sweet exterior, she's a gifted butcher currently working as a consultant in L.A. Let's hear it for the West Coast!"

Don't be fooled by that incorrect comma! Let's hear it for a period instead!

Reader Question

Someone asked me this question:

"[I] wanted a professional explanation of my tagline - The Education I Never Got. It is a play on words that I'm not even sure I should keep because it may sound just too unintelligent. So I was wondering if you could help me out on a good explanation of the sentence - why it works or doesn't work."

This sounds fine to me. Anyone else have an opinion?

Criminal Sentence 399: That's a Lie

From a book I'm reading (about Cro-Magnons):

"The ancestry of both the Neanderthals and Homo sapiens lie with much earlier peoples."

Hmmm. Take away the prepositional phrase ("of both the Neanderthals and Homo sapiens") and the error is obvious: "The ancestry ... lie..."

As I said in the title, that's a lie ("lies")!

Poll Results 90

Here was the question:

What's wrong here? "That'd change if she ever found out about you and I."

Nothing	5 (6%)
A preposition	5 (6%)
A conjunction	3 (3%)
A pronoun	68 (82%)
A verb	1 (1%)

Thanks to Bryan Adams for this (I've been wanting to complain about this since the song came out in the 80s).

Congrats to 82% of you.

Criminal Sentence 398: Not Loath to Loathe

From a book I read recently:

"The extraordinary thing about inventing a persona is that one is loathe to give it up."

I would like to announce the retirement of the error-prone word "loath," which means "hesitant or reluctant." It gets confused so often with "loathe," which means "despise," that it's time for it to go.

Or, people could remember the difference.

Criminal Sentence 397: Dead Apostrophe

From a book I'm reading:

"He was fourteen years' dead."

At first this might seem correct, but we need to bury that thought. Make it a single year and you'll see what I mean:

"He was one year/year's dead."

One year dead. Fourteen years dead.

This week's poll: Doofus alert

I was a doofus. Please see the newly corrected poll. If you already voted, please do so again. (Thanks, Sharon.)

Poll Results 89

Here was the question:

What's wrong here? "The skeleton was in tact."

Nothing	4 (4%)
Grammar	1 (1%)
A word error	81 (94%)

Guess this was too easy.

Intact is correct.

Criminal Sentence 396: Alma Mater Uh-Oh

From a Web site associated with my alma mater:

"We definitely came in knowing that Army was on a role."

Cringe!

"On a roll" means doing well.

"On a role" means you made a mistake!

Criminal Sentence 395: The Meaning of "The"

From a history book:

"Edward's great Abbey of Westminster became the spot where ... every monarch would be crowned except the 20th-century king, Edward VIII."

This sentence makes it appear that there was only one 20th-century king. Of course we know there were many. If you just delete the comma, all is fixed.

Let's see another example: "The 19th-century writer Charles Dickens wrote Oliver Twist." Dickens was one of many 19th-century writers. If he were the only one, we would have to write "The 19th-century writer, Charles Dickens, wrote Oliver Twist."

Criminal Sentence 394: Unpositive Appositive

From a history book I'm reading:

"His wife Bertha was a Christian, a Frankish princess who had brought her own chaplain from Paris."

The description "a Frankish princess who had brought her own chaplain from Paris" is what's called an appositive, meaning it gives more information about something. For example, in the sentence "Ellen DeGeneres, a comedian, is a judge on American Idol," "a comedian" is an appositive. The sentence wouldn't sound right if it read like this: "Ellen DeGeneres is a judge on American Idol, a comedian."

That's the same problem as in the incorrect sentence. The appositive would sound a lot better in the middle: "His wife Bertha, a Frankish princess who had brought her own chaplain from Paris, was a Christian."

Criminal Sentence 393: Less Lesson

From a book I'm reading:

“Worse, having been promised some lowering of the high wartime land taxes, the Parliament men were clamoring to pay less taxes, not more.”

I'm surprised this slipped through. I know we all use "less" when speaking informally, but in writing we need to be more grammatical, not less.

"Less" goes with uncountable items, such as sugar and milk.
"Fewer" goes with countable items, such as cookies and vegetables.

You pay less tax but fewer taxes.

Poll Results 88

Here was the question:

What's the primary reason you give up on a book?

Don't care about the characters.	9 (18%)
Plot is boring.	19 (38%)
Too many characters/book is confusing.	8 (16%)
Grammar is off/written badly.	7 (14%)
Other	1 (2%)
I always finish books no matter how bad they are.	6 (12%)

I'm with most of you, though I wish I could stick it out like 12% of you. But I feel life is too short to read bad books.

Criminal Sentence 392: Quickly!

From a parenting article:

"You've probably been told not to compare your child with anyone else's. But when she really seems to be lagging behind other kids, it's important to get her the help she needs quickly."

I imagine that this imaginary girl who is having trouble needs help quickly, but I think the article was trying to say that parents need to get her help quickly. The problem is that the adverb "quickly" is ambiguously next to the word "needs"; as I just said, it goes with "get her help."

See this post.

Criminal Sentence 391: The Rhythm Method

A few sentences from a book I'm reading:

"Charlie had three boys and two girls. The oldest boy was a sailor, the next was a fireman, who rode proudly on one of the new fire engines sent over from London. Young Sam helped his father."

I felt a disconnect when I got to "who rode..." because the sentences lost their rhythm. I wanted to see something like this:

"The oldest boy was a sailor, the next was a fireman, and young Sam helped his father."

The writer could have placed the fire engine detail elsewhere.

So not only do writers have to think about their grammar, punctuation, spelling and syntax, but they have to think about the rhythm of the words.

This writing stuff is hard!

Criminal Sentence 390: HIPAA HIPPA Hooray (Boo)

From a medical release:

Your Responsibilities Under HIPAA

In order to safeguard your rights under HIPPA...

It seems that someone was thinking about the word "hippopotamus"while typing HIPAA, which stands for the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act.

Those of you in the medical field should remember to stay away from the zoo!

Criminal Sentence 389: Gone Fishing (for the correct spelling)

From a book I'm reading:

"The whole colony was waiting with baited breath."

No fish here.

Not only is this a cliche, but it's spelled wrong! If you must use a cliche (well, you don't have to, do you?), please spell it right: "bated breath."

Poll Results 87

The question:

What's wrong here? "Being a detective lieutenant's wife has not leeched all rationality from my brain."

Grammar	18 (24%)
Wordiness	22 (29%)
Spelling	7 (9%)
Two of the above	28 (37%)

Well, I was going to say spelling only: "leeched" should be "leached."

Criminal Sentence 388: You'd Better Rite Right

Took a little longer today to come across a real doozie. From someone's comment in a blog:

"the right-of-passage"

Did someone ask permission to pass through somewhere or is this botched syntax?

Of course, if it's on this blog, it's botched syntax! It's a rite of passage, silly.

Criminal Sentence 387: Clothes Make the Dandy

From a book I am reading (with British spelling):

"Compared to the cheap travelling clothes of these passengers, he was quite the dandy."

This sentence compares "cheap clothes" to "he." Uh-oh.

Here's a better version:

"He was quite the dandy compared to these cheaply clothed passengers."

The sentence makes the writer!

Criminal Sentence 386: Gender Bender

From a book I am reading:

"Tall and thin, with jet-black hair combed dramatically away from his face, she found herself momentarily distracted by his cheekbones and lips as she approached him."

This sentence doesn't work unless the he/she is one person, which is not possible. In other words, misplaced modifier. Who has jet-black hair? The man, not "she."

Who wants to rewrite it? Feel free to make it two sentences if you can't cram everything in there. Let's call the players Louise and Harry.

Criminal Sentence 385: A Suspicious Sentence

From a novel I couldn't bring myself to finish because it was terrible (and not just because of this sentence):

"You'd look a less suspicious in my eyes if you did [cooperate]."

You can tell from this sentence that it was edited, but someone forgot to reread it after making the changes. I bet it originally said "a little less suspicious," but someone correctly determined that this was a little bit wordy. So I can't blame the author, but she did do a hack job on the rest of the book (I have to admit I reached only p50 or so). I usually give books more of a chance, but when I find myself skimming pages and saying to myself, "I don't care what happens," then I know I need to move on.

Poll Results 86

This was the question:

Is this sentence correct? "She effected an odd pose."

Yes	23 (30%)
No	52 (69%)

Congratulations to 69% of you. The correct word is "affected," as in "assumed the character or attitude of."

New Grammar Girl Episode: Adverbs

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/eliminate-adverbs.aspx

Criminal Sentence 384: Typo Trio

Three errors for your enjoyment/horror:

1. Did you hear about the suspected flub on Wall Street yesterday?

From my paper: "No one was sure what happened, other than automated orders were activated by erroneous trades. One possibility was that a trader accidentally placed an order to sell $16 billion, instead of $16 million, in futures, and that was enough to trigger sell orders across the market."

2. How about this one from the Hollywood Walk of Fame?

From my paper: "Former 'Seinfeld star Julia Louis-Dreyfus was guest of honor this week at a ceremony in which 'Julia Luis-Dreyfus was presented a star; the star was temporarily fixed for the event, NBCLosAngeles.com reports."

These one came courtesy of Mom and Dad:

3. A Disney boo-boo:

http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2010/05/06/girl-catches-disneys-grammar-error/

Reader Question: Hyphen

Should a hyphen appear in agreed-upon here:
 
Since 2005, TRP has presented a strategic plan to the
company and has worked in partnership to accomplish
agreed-upon goals.
Thanks!
 
Yes! It is a compound adjective describing "goals."

You're welcome.

Criminal Sentence 383: Long Baseball Game?

From my local newspaper (about the Diamondbacks):

"Ian Kennedy pitches 62-3 scoreless innings..."

I'd watched the game but still had to stare at this for a minute before I understood what it was talking about. I knew the game hadn't gone 62 and something innings. Try 9. It turns out that a hyphen isn't a slash: 6 2/3 innings.

Criminal Sentence 382: I Love Des(s)ert

Two sentences on the same page of a novel by a bestselling author:

1) "At least I got you to stay through desert."
2) "In another hour a younger crowd would straggle in for desert or fries after the movie let out."

A third sentence with the same error appeared near the end of the book.

When I saw the first sentence, I chalked it up to an error. The same error twice more made me wonder if the author and/or editor really thought that you spell "dessert" with one "s."

What do you think?

Poll Results 85

Here was the question:

Do you accept this sentence? "Here are a few of his wisdoms." (Refers to advice of a dead author)

Yes	17 (25%)
No	50 (74%)

I'm with the 74%. "Wisdom" is an uncountable noun (as are "sugar" and "thoughtfulness"), so it doesn't make sense to count how many pieces of advice the dead author gave.

It would have been better to say, "Here is some of his wisdom."

Criminal Sentence 381: What an Experience

The top line of a survey I saw:

Tell us about your "experience" with us.

Imagine your hands making the quotation mark gesture as you say this sentence. Did you have a good "experience"?

(As you can tell, no quotation marks necessary.)

Criminal Sentence 380: Latin Lesson

From a column in the newspaper (readers ask odd questions):

"Why do we use the a.m.-p.m. system for telling time? The 24-hour day (i.e. 1300 for 1 p.m.) that the military uses seems so much simpler."

For some reason we use Latin abbreviations in English. "Etc." is a common one. Two that often get confused are "i.e." and "e.g."

"i.e." translates as "that is," meaning you are restating something with more specific information. For example, I might say, "I have studied three languages; i.e., Spanish, French and Italian." In this example, I state that I studied three languages, and then I specifically state which ones.

"e.g." translates as "for example," meaning that you are giving an incomplete list. For example, I might say, "I have studied three languages;e.g., Spanish and Italian."As you can see, this is an incomplete list.

Have you seen the error yet?

Criminal Sentence 379: Colon-itis

Here is an example of an incorrect colon:

"Some common misconceptions are: a, b and c."

Just a space, please. It's the same thing with "include":

"Some common misconceptions include: a, b and c."

And definitely don't use a semicolon there!

Poll Results 84

This was the question:

How many words can you cut out of this wordy 12-word sentence? "Petroglyphs are images that are chipped into the surface of a rock."

One	2 (2%)
Two	9 (10%)
Three	10 (11%)
Four	22 (25%)
Five	44 (50%)

Congrats to 25% of you. This is how I would cut out words:

"Petroglyphs are images chipped into a rock's surface."

I cut these:

1) that
2) are
3) the
4) of

Criminal Sentence 378: Danger!

From a book I recently finished:

"The danger of this diagnosis and treatment are twofold."

The danger of subject-verb misagreement are twofold: Readers wonder how that sentence made it into print, and the writer looks ignorant.

"Danger"=Singular
"Are"=Plural

Criminal Sentence 377: Location Location

From a book I'm reading:

"After the introduction, he walked up to the stage, a small man, trim and owlish."

I object to where the writer placed the description of the man. "A small man, trim and owlish" sits next to "the stage," and it clearly does not describe that. Let's get the real estate right:

"After the introduction, the small man, trim and owlish, walked up to the stage."

Ah, much better.

Criminal Sentence 376: Dashing Dreams

From something I edited:

"[The company] has transformed their client's dreams into reality."

At least two problemas here.

1) Only one client? How sad.
2) Have anything uncliché-ish to say?
3) Some may argue that "their" does not match a singular company name. Others say that using the plural to mean the entire company is ok.

Criminal Sentence 375: Rewriting History

From a notice from my cable company regarding the program "The Tudors." These sentences concern Henry VIII, who married six women. Here are two sentences of background before the error:

"When his first wife, Katherine of Aragon, is unable to give birth to a son, Henry seeks a divorce--which the Catholic Church refuses to grant him. As a result, Henry severs England's ties from Rome, and severs many heads in the process!"

Now for the mistake:

"He then remarries the beautiful Anne Boleyn."

This bad sentence suggests that Henry had already married Anne. He married each wife only once. The writer should have written something like this:

"He then gets married again, this time to the beautiful Anne Boleyn."

Poll Results 83

This was the question:

What's wrong? "The only thing growing in abundance was chaparral and weeds."

Nothing	12 (13%)
Subject-verb agreement	36 (41%)
Another kind of agreement problem	36 (41%)
Spelling	3 (3%)

This was tricky. Congrats to 13% of you.

It isn't a subject-verb agreement problem because the subject is "thing" and the verb is "was." Those agree.

It can't be spelling because everything is spelled right.

The other choice is another kind of agreement problem. It is true that "chaparral and weeds" is plural whereas the subject is singular, but it isn't incorrect, tough I wouldn't recommend writing this sentence because it does seem awkward.

I would rewrite it in one of two ways:

1) Make the subject plural: "The only things growing in abundance were chaparral and weeds."
2) Recast the sentence: "Chaparral and weeds were the only things growing in abundance."

Criminal Sentence 374: Preposterous!

From a book I just finished:

A character asks himself "Any leads at all? Even preposterous one?"

A paragraph later:

"Preposterous or not, I needed to go to the police."

I have to say, that is preposterous!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, search for "misplaced modifier" on the blog.

Criminal Sentence 373: E Is for Proofreading

From something I'm reading:

"We breath it every minute of every day."

Just missing one little E.

Criminal Sentence 372: Head(line) Bashing

The headline of something I will be editing:

"A Leaders View"

This is not a good sign. May I admit that I dread reading the rest? But at least I'll be cashing a check eventually.

Poll Results 82

Here was the question:

Anything wrong here? "Take a peak at these items from our spring cleaning sale!"

Yes 51 (85%)
No 9 (15%)

Congratulations to 85% of you.
"Peak"=top of a mountain
"Peek"=look

I was disappointed to see this sentence on a writing Web site. :(

Criminal Sentence 371: Well, Then

From a blog (regarding how many queries the writer has in her inbox):

"I do believe I have fewer then 25 waiting to be read and responded to..."

"Than" is usually used in comparisons, as in "fewer than."
"Then" is usually used to indicate time, as in "Then, we went to the movies."

Sometimes I think this mistake is a typo, but then I truly think some don't know the difference between "then" and "than."

Is it a typo for you or confusion?

Criminal Sentence 370: On a Roll

From something I read:

"playing a major roll in the plot..."

A large bun was part of the plot?

Had to laugh at that one.

Criminal Sentence 369: What a Croc!

On a sign at a childcare facility:

"No crocks."

No crock pots for the little ones. I understand. But I suppose they meant those shoes with holes, called Crocs.

Criminal Sentence 368: Don't Waiver

From a book I finished recently:

"He continued to waiver."

To noun or not to noun. No, don't noun.

A "waiver" (noun) is something you sign to relinquish your right.
To "waver" (verb) means to show doubt, among other things.

Poll Results 81

Here was the question:

Is this correct? "She has a flare for the dramatic.""

Yes 29 (39%)
No 45 (60%)

Congrats to 60% of you.

Flare=Something you light when you want to signal for help: He lit a flare.
Flair=Ability or talent: She has a flair for grammar.

Criminal Sentence 367: Decimal Schmecimal

What a wonderful per-person price! Less than one cent each?!
It should be either of these options, as my third-grader reminded me when I mentioned there was a mistake on this item:

1) 99 cents
2) $0.99

Criminal Sentence 366: Your Errors Are Numbered

From a book I'm reading:

"... more than a 1,000 percent"

Oops. Just one of those, please:

"a thousand percent"
or
"1,000 percent"

Remember to proofread!

Criminal Sentence 365: Buy By, Error(s)

Thanks, Rick, for this link:

Headline at news site.

http://www.kndo.com/Global/story.asp?S=10045828&nav=menu484_5_4

Minors 15-17 Years-Old Can By Greyhound Tickets

Error 1: 15-17 Years-Old: No hyphen needed.
Error 2: By should be Buy.

Criminal Sentence 364: Infertile-Couple Alert!

Taken outside a video store. I couldn't just drive by without snapping this shot.

Poll Results 80

This was the question:

"Has this blog helped you with your grammar/punctuation/style/syntax?"

Yes 34 (89%)

No 4 (10%)

To the 10%, please let me know what else I can do.

Criminal Sentence 363: There are Capitalization rules

From an ad in the paper (this was a head):

"There is Help."

There are perhaps three ways to go with capitalization with heads:
1. Initial cap all words: There Is Help.
2. Initial cap only the first word and proper names: There is help.
3. Initial cap all words except articles (like "a" and "the" and short prepositions like "of" and "by"): There Is Help for Your Capitalization Problems.

The important Things are To be Consistent and to Not Capitalize randomly.

Criminal Sentence 362: Are You High?

From a writing Web site:

"[So and so] sponsors five high profile writing competitions."

O, Hyphen. Where Art Thou?

Of course I've carped on this before, but it hasn't sunk in.

Are these high profile writing competitions? No. That looks too naked.

Are they high profile-writing competitions? No. They're not taking place at altitude, and they're not competitions on how to write profiles.

Are they high-profile writing competitions? Oui!! They are writing competitions that this company believes are high profile.

Criminal Sentence 361: Experiencing Em Dash Symptoms

You can't just stick an em dash in when you want to pause. That's what commas are for. Em dashes indicate an aside or long break. If you want more information--search for em dash on this blog (that was an incorrect em dash just now).

Reader Question: Comma Use

A good question from a reader:

My name is Rishi, and I am a college student who is very interested in learning how to write grammatically-error-free prose. It is a tall order, but your blog (and articles in Writer’s magazine) have been very helpful teaching aids. I was introduced to your blog by way of the Grammar Girl’s website. After noticing that many of articles appearing on her site were guest written by you, I clicked on the link to your blog -- and have been hooked since.

I was wondering if you could please help me with this question: Why do many clauses that begin with the phrase “and that” have a comma in front of the conjunction “and?” Take, for instance, the sentence: “I wish it were raining a lot right now, and that the wind would blow fiercely more often.” I understand that a comma (and a conjunction) needs to be inserted between two independent clauses, but it seems to me that the second part of the sentence – which begins with the phrase “and that” – is not an independent clause. After all, we would never use the expression “and that the wind blows fiercely more often” in a stand-alone manner. I wonder, then, why is it that clauses of this sort have a comma inserted in front of them?

I would be very grateful for your insight, Ms. Trenga, and many thanks for your time.

With gratitude,
Rishi

p.s.: I hope that I have not committed an egregious number of grammatical errors in this email!

Rishi is right about commas and independent clauses. If you go by that rule, a comma before "and that" would not work. But... commas also indicate a pause, and if you have a long sentence, a comma can help the reader pause in the right place, so my view is that a comma would be acceptable in a long sentence. If, on the other hand, you have a somewhat short sentence like "I like it that you smile and that you laugh" then a comma would not be necessary.

Thanks, Rishi, for the question, and no, your e-mail message was not full of egregious errors!

Poll Results 79

Here was the question:

What is your relationship with your dictionary?

Whenever I come across an unfamiliar word or phrase, I race to look it up.	41 (56%)
I sometimes look something up.	29 (39%)
I don't own a dictionary and/or don't know how to access dictionary.com.	1 (1%)
I use my dictionary as a doorstop.	2 (2%)

Glad to see most everyone likes the dictionary!

New Grammar Girl Episode: Stacked Modifiers

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/stacked-modifiers.aspx

Writer Mag Column 20: Adverbs

Hanging around unnecessarily: Why you should eliminate most adverbs

Adverbs have a bad reputation. It’s not that we editors don’t like them. We have nothing to complain about when adverbs do their job successfully —that is, modify adjectives, verbs or other adverbs. We object, though, when writers rely on adverbs to do the work of strong verbs, or use them redundantly, or place them awkwardly. Only then do we want writers to trim their useless adverbs mercilessly.

Let’s quickly deal with adverbs that you writers can definitely cut: adverbs used carelessly as intensifiers. You could, for example, write "She smiled happily," but that would be redundant, and no one would smile happily while reading your (un)carefully crafted sentence. "Frowned morosely" and "jumped up and down excitedly" are other examples of repetitive verb-adverb combinations. Most of the time, a descriptive verb will suffice.

Now for a brief list of utterly useless adverbs. You really should cut these out: "extremely," "definitely," "truly, "very" and "really." You can totally use them, though, if your characters are surfers. Otherwise, avoid them mightily.

You’ll also hear complaints about adverbs that are used alongside verbs of attribution, such as "said," "asked" and "stated." Some overeager writers think they’re being clever when they tack on adverbs to their "saids," as in "‘I told you not to hit your brother over the head,’ she said angrily." Most creative-writing guides suggest sticking with a lone "said" most of the time. Let the substance of the dialogue get across the way it’s being said; don’t rely on an adverb to do it for you. So, when you peruse your close-to-final draft, critique your adverbs on a usefulness scale. If you could cut the adverb without irreparably harming the sentence, please do so.

Next we come to adverbs that are allowed to stay—but not in the position where they currently are. I’m mainly talking about "only" here. Consider this sentence:

Candace only edits on Tuesdays.

Here, "only" is next to "edits," which for sticklers suggests that the only thing Candace does on Tuesdays is edit; she does not write, she does not sleep, she does not eat. She only edits. Of course we all understand that the sentence means that Candace edits just on Tuesdays, but "only" is in the wrong position. It should come closer to "on Tuesdays." We have two choices: "Candace edits only on Tuesdays" and "Candace edits on Tuesdays only." Granted, misplaced "onlys" pop up in everyday speech, but in writing it’s best to be more precise and use "only" in the right place. Hint: The right place is almost never before the verb.

Adverbs unwittingly get misplaced elsewhere, too, especially when your sentence has two verbs and one adverb. Consider this sentence:

She was looking at the man thoughtfully.

The adverb "thoughtfully" clearly modifies "was looking." Things get a bit dicey if we add another verb, though:

She was looking at the man running thoughtfully.

Here, "thoughtfully" could modify two verbs: “was looking” and “running,” so the sentence could mean she was looking thoughtfully at the man, or she was looking at the man who was simultaneously running and pontificating. Most readers would likely assume that "thoughtfully" goes with the closer verb, in this case “running.” No matter the correct interpretation, you don’t want to leave your readers wondering. Rewrite as appropriate: either "She was looking thoughtfully at the runner" or "She was looking at the man who was running while thinking."

Finally, I want to mention the issue of hyphens with adverbs. Hyphens are useful for joining words that together describe a noun. Take this sentence:

The 10-year-old boy hopped on one foot.

Here, the two hyphens join up the three words to create one unit that modifies “boy.” A hyphen helps in this sentence, too:

The big-footed man had trouble finding shoes.

With “-ly” adverbs, though, you should ditch the hyphen because the “-ly” in the adverb automatically links up with the next word. Therefore, the punctuation in this sentence is incorrect:

The spiritually-inclined woman went to church.

Just a space there, please:

The spiritually inclined woman went to church.

Note, however, that if the hyphenated words come after the noun, you can get rid of the hyphens:

The boy who was 10 years old hopped on one foot.

Sadly, we are at the end of our hopefully not useless time together. Please rewrite these Criminal Sentences and send your carefully rewritten rewrites to curiouscase@hotmail.com:

1. That is a poorly-worded sentence.
2. I sandwiched myself between the woman and the youth who was eating uncomfortably.
3. “I hate spinach,” yelled the girl loudly.
4. There’s never been a better time to save on our custom built furniture, which is locally-made.
5. I only meant to eat one cookie, but I was very naughty and gobbled down the whole box hungrily.

Criminal Sentence 360: Customer's

Take away the apostrophe in "Customer's" and put it where it was missing yesterday, and then two national chains can earn my busines's.
P.S. The company, Fry's, doesn't seem to know there's an apostrophe in its name, too!

Criminal Sentence 359: Mechanics On Sale

How much do the mechanics cost?

Ah, the difference one apostrophe makes...

(mechanics' tool sets)

Criminal Sentence 358: Sonora or Sahara?

Pretty good price for a bunch of sand.

Poll Results 78

This was the question:

Is this sentence correct? "I remember when we lay in the grass."

Yes	39 (36%)
No	69 (63%)

Congrats to 36% of you. This sentence is in the past tense. To see what's what, let's put it in present tense:

"I lie in the grass."

What's the past tense of the verb "to lie"?

Yesterday, I lay in the grass.

What's the past participle of "to lie"?

I have lain in the grass for two minutes.

What's the progressive form of "to lie"?

I have been lying in the grass since yesterday.

Now let's confuse ourselves by looking at the verb "to lay," which you use with an object, such as "I want to lay the blanket on the bed."

Present tense: He lays the blanket on the bed.
Past tense: He laid the blanket on the bed.
Past participle: He has laid the blanket on the bed.
Progressive form: He is laying the blanket on the bed.

Criminal Sentence 357: What the Dickens!

Seen in a book:

"...one of Dicken's greatest creations"

His name is Charles Dickens, so that should be Dickens'.

Have a great weekend and put your apostrophes in the right place, plea's!

Criminal Sentence 356: A Bad Way to Start (A Sentence)

Seen on a Web site (the lead sentence of the article):

"When looking for Manhattan's latest in inexpensive food, the East Village and Lower East Side have always been good places to start."

Nice misplaced modifier there; not a good way to start. When I visited the Lower East Side last year I did look for some good food, but in this sentence no person is looking for the food. The East Village and Lower East Side certainly aren't. Just add a "you're" and you're set:

"When you're looking for Manhattan's latest in inexpensive food, the East Village and Lower East Side have always been good places to start."

I know I've harped on this repeatedly, but this was an egregious example and in the first sentence to boot!

Criminal Sentence 355: Lead vs. Led

From something I recently edited:

"The reader is lead to analyze the evidence and formulate a sound conclusion."

I often see this mistaken "lead," which, of course, should be "led." The verb is "to lead," and this is how you conjugate it:

Present: I lead, you lead, she leads, he leads, it leads, we lead, they lead
Past: I led, you led, she led, he led, it led, we led, they led
With a past participle: I have/had led, you have/had led, she has/had led, he has/had led, it has/had led, we have/had led, they have/had led

Question: "Hi."

A question from Josephine:

"My sister and I have a difference of opinion here.

She criticized me for putting a comma between "Hi" and her name, "Lil."
Example: Hi, Lil,

I said that one goes there. She said that it doesn't.

Who is right?"

Josephine is right. Although most people don't use a comma in casual e-mails, you really should put one in:

Hi, Josephine.
Good job, Josephine.
Thanks for the question, Josephine.

Giveaway Results

Here was the rewriting challenge:

"As a product marketing manager, keeping a pulse on what the competition is doing is critical."

Congratulations to winner Ginny Baird, who created this succinct sentence:

A product marketing manager keeps a pulse on the competition.

She wins a free copy of The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier by Moi and The Grammar Devotional by Mignon Fogarty.

The two runners-up are Heather Swarthout and David Wolf, who each win a free copy of The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier by Moi.

Thanks to everyone who entered the contest.

Poll Results 77

Here was the question:

March 4 is National Grammar Day. How are you planning to celebrate?

I am going to speak/write grammatically all day--even all week! 20 (32%)

I am going to spread grammatical knowledge far and wide. 26 (41%)

I am going to read grammar-related blogs and books. 21 (33%)

I ain't gonna do nothin special. 16 (25%)

Hope you all had a grammatical day!

Criminal Sentence 354: Which Which?

From a Web site article that quotes a singer about American Idol:

"Some of the judges, I don't think they're qualified to even judge," the Grammy Award-winning singer said, without specifying which judge to which she was referring.

Which which is a good which, or are both whiches whiches which we can live with?

The first which--"which judge"--is fine. Which judge are you talking about?
The second which--"to which she was referring"--is fine, assuming you don't like prepositions at the end of a sentence.

Two whiches together, though? I wouldn't.

Which which do you think I will be getting rid of?

"...without specifying which judge she was referring to."

It's fine to end a sentence with a preposition, especially if not doing so results in a weird which situation.

Writer Mag Column 19: Copyediting Checklist

Lucky Seven: Tips for tip-top writing

Now that your manuscript is completed, take a bow. Well done. I tip my hat to you. However, you’re not actually done yet. Sadly, what first comes out of our heads isn’t always brilliant, and we all make mistakes. Of course, you don’t want important thoughts to evaporate, so scribble away while your ideas are fresh; you’ll shape your sentences during subsequent drafts. You do write more than one draft, right?

Before you can wrap your writing in a bow and send it on its way, you must first run down this list of jobs to ensure your piece is in top shape. You may already do some of these copyediting tasks. If not, get busy!

Job 1: Become familiar with the kinds of mistakes you tend to make and then check for them. I personally suffer from Overuse of Em Dash Syndrome and Long Sentence-itis. You, on the other hand, may mess up your apostrophes, or perhaps you tend to confuse similar-sounding words. Whatever your bugaboos, keep them in the back of your mind as you read over your work. If certain words trip you up, search for them using your computer’s Search and Replace features, or you could write a manual list to remind yourself of your pitfalls. The more you become aware of mistakes you always make, the easier it will be to find them—and eventually you won’t even make them.

Job 2: Look for lapses of consistency. If you’re writing something in the non-fiction arena, it might be a good idea to keep a style sheet of terms you’re using. That way, you can always remember how you’ve capitalized words or spelled certain terms. Readers will look down on you if you sometimes use one way, sometimes another. If you’re writing fiction, it might not be a bad idea to use a style sheet, either. It’s a good way to keep track of characters’ names and identifying features (you don’t want to call a minor character a redhead in one chapter and then later turn her into a brunette, for example). Another consistency issue that often crops up, whether in non-fiction or fiction, is the verb tense you use. Sometimes writers begin in past, switch to present and then go back to past. Decide at the outset what tense you’re going to use, and then stick with it.

Job 3: Cut out passive phrasing. You can check if you’ve written a passive sentence in at least two ways: check your subjects, and check your verbs. Unless you write about buildings, bugs or other non-talking items, most of your sentences are probably about people. But do people populate your sentences, or is your audience reading about a ghost town? Take, for example, this vague and passive sentence: “To overcome the challenge, certain objectives were set forth.” I am certain that people are involved here, but I have no idea who specifically. I also don’t know what the challenge is and what objectives the workers must meet. Do a census in your own work and see if you’re paying enough attention to the people. Another easy way to find vague and passive sentences is to examine your verbs. If you use a lot of “to be” verbs, chances are you have overused passive voice or have written many uninteresting sentences. As with Job 2, you can search and replace; at least half of your verbs may turn out to be blah.

Job 4: Aim to cut each sentence by a little. You’ve probably been wordy. Ask yourself if you really need to use so many words to get your point across. Search for this list of common wordy phrases and consider replacing them with the items in parentheses:

despite the fact that (although)

even though (although)

in spite of the fact that (although)

not only … but also (and)

on a [adjective] basis (adjective + ly)

in a [adjective] manner (adjective + ly)

each and every (each [or every])

is/are able to (can)

has/have the capability of (can)

the reason that … is because (because)

The list could go on. Also look for places where you’ve said the same thing twice.

Job 5: Do me (and yourself) a favor and learn what misplaced modifiers are—and then never use them. Misplaced modifiers often make writers—even New York Times-bestselling authors—look ridiculous. As I’ve said in columns past, you need to watch out for three common kinds of misplaced modifiers: those at the beginning of a sentence, those involving a “who” or “that” clause and those involving a prepositional phrase. Don’t write doozies like these three Criminal Sentences:

1) “As First Lady, the agents acted as my protectors” (the agents cannot be the First Lady).

2) “Soon after, he grew a swelling in his foot and in his groin that had to be lanced” (ouch; the swelling, not the groin area, had to be lanced).

3) “The man watched him and the girl with slow eyes” (the man watched the girl slowly; the girl does not have slow eyes).

Job 6: Do a quick grammar check. Common grammatical errors include incorrect subject-verb agreement, non-parallel sentences and incorrect comparisons. Review my columns on these three subjects.

Job 7: Do a quick Spell Check. You shouldn’t turn something in without pressing “Check spelling.” However, doing so does not absolve you from carefully reading each word you’ve written. Spell Check does not catch word-usage errors such as “if” instead of “in.” I suggest reading your work aloud in a monotone so that your brain does not skip over incorrect words. You should also put aside your work for a time so that you can look at it with fresh eyes.

Criminal Sentence 353: Unheroic Punctuation

Courtesy of CNN yesterday afternoon:

"Hero pilot, Capt. Chesley 'Sully' Sullenberger retires"

Just one little comma missing. When you use what's called an appositive, you need to surround it with commas, as here:

"The author of Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens, created the character of Mr. Bumble."

"Charles Dickens" is the appositive. It clarifies "The author of OT."

In CS 353, we need a comma after "Sullenberger" because "Capt. Chesley 'Sully' Sullenberger" is an appositive.

Spelling Errors

Visit this post, on Nathan Bransford's informative blog, and read the comments! There fun-knee!

Criminal Sentence 352: A Long Fossil

From a book I am reading (pay attention to the third sentence):

"Certainly fossils are a particular pleasure. They do not appeal to everyone, for they are the remains of creatures. If you think on it too much, you would wonder at holding in your hands a long dead body."

Ahhh, the power of hyphens. Compare "a long-dead body," which joins up "long" and "dead" to modify "body," and "a long dead body," which suggests that the dead body is long. The fossils described in this book are small snail-like creatures.

Criminal Sentence 351: Grammar Giveaway

In honor of National Grammar Day on Thursday, here's a Grammar Challenge.

The person who corrects Criminal Sentence 350 in the best way (judged by me) will win a free copy of The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier by Moi and The Grammar Devotional by Mignon Fogarty.

Send your rewritten sentence, along with your contact info, to curiouscase@hotmail.com. The deadline is midnight (MST) on Thursday, March 4, and it's one try per e-mail address. If more than one person rewrites the sentence well, the first-received answer will win. I will choose two runners-up, who will each receive a free copy of The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier.

Criminal Sentence 350:

"As a product marketing manager, keeping a pulse on what the competition is doing is critical."

Hint: I like good subjects and good verbs.

Good luck!

Poll Results 76

Here was the question:

What's wrong here? "I was tempted to abandon everything I had planned and instead lead the men across the river."

A noun	5 (6%)
A verb	31 (38%)
A conjunction	38 (46%)
A preposition	7 (8%)

When I read this sentence in a book, the verb "lead" threw me because I thought it was supposed to be "led," the past tense form. So congrats to 38% of you. We can clarify the sentence with just one word:

"I was tempted to abandon everything I had planned and TO instead lead the men across the river."

Criminal Sentence 350: Looking for a Good Instuctor

Is this advertising a hop instuctor who is hip? Ha ha. Nope, a hip-hop instuctor. Wait a minute. A hip-hop instRuctor! And with those three exclamation points, that's really exciting!!!

New Grammar Girl Episode: Pronouns and Antecedents

Check out this new episode:

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/pronouns-and-antecedents.aspx

Criminal Sentence 349: Comma or Semicolon

From something I am editing:

"They have not only successfully blended their families; they are running a thriving business together."

This punctuation doesn't quite work. When you use a semicolon to join two related independent clauses, that means that each part must be able to stand alone. The sentence passes this test for the part after the semicolon: "They are running a thriving business together" could appear alone. However, "They have not only successfully blended their families" cannot. You should just use a comma instead:

"They have not only successfully blended their families, they are running a thriving business together."

Notice, however, that the "not only" part is out of alignment: they have not only ... they are (the "have" is in the wrong place). We'll fix it while we balance the second part with the "but also" part that goes with "not only":

"Not only have they successfully blended their families, but they are also running a thriving business together."

I do feel the "not only...but also" sentence structure is a bit wordy. If you agree, you could write this:

"They have successfully blended their families and are running a thriving business together."

Criminal Sentence 348: Redundant Besides

From a book I just finished:

"Besides the reliquaries, we had also put [a] wooden chest in the wagon."

This is repetitive because "besides" is one of those words that means "also." This problem happens with "in addition ... also" and "in addition ... and." You need just one.

So let's put the redundancy in the wagon and cart it off:

"Besides the reliquaries, we had put [a] wooden chest in the wagon."

Criminal Sentence 347: "Od" Ice Cream

Yesterday I took the kids for ice cream. Although the sign warned against putting "topings" on cones, we did so anyway! Funny how they got it right the first time but not on the bottom line.

Poll Results 75

This was the question:

What's wrong here? "Johnson said the teen told officers he lit the fire and was arrested."

A "that" is missing.	5 (6%)
The "and was arrested" part is unclear.	5 (6%)
A pronoun is unclear.	10 (12%)
A punctuation mark is missing.	0 (0%)
Two of the above	57 (74%)

MY ORIGINAL ANSWER
So, I was going for answer number 2. Let's break it down.

1) A "that" is missing: Well, a "that" after "said" or "officers" is optional, not required.
2) The "and was arrested" part is unclear: Well, it definitely is! When you first read the sentence, it seems as if the teen admitted two things: he lit the fire; he was arrested. The "and was arrested" part doesn't work. You need to reword it: "Johnson said the teen was arrested after he told officers he lit the fire."
3) A pronoun is unclear: It's true that two men are in this sentence, but I don't think the "he" is unclear.

Your thoughts?

MY REVISED ANSWER
OK. I admit it. If you didn't know that Johnson was a police officer, I see how the pronoun could be vague. I should have clearly said that Johnson was a cop. Shame on me!!

Criminal Sentence 346: Confusing Outfit

From a book I am reading (about an outfit a king was wearing):

"He was dressed in a bright blue cloak and wearing a circlet of bronze on his head."

Although this is grammatically correct, it is not so clear. I felt that "wearing" was hanging there. You have to go back earlier in the sentence to get it to match up with "was," as in "was dressed ... and was wearing..." It would be better to repeat the "was" or change the verb:

1) "He was dressed in a bright blue cloak and was wearing a circlet of bronze on his head."
2) "He was dressed in a bright blue cloak and wore a circlet of bronze on his head."

Now those are a couple of kingly sentences.

Writer Mag Column 18: Pronouns

Who's on first? Keep pronouns in line

On the baseball field, the manager picks the best position players and puts them on first base, second base and so on. Chaos—and many losses—would ensue if an unprepared player got put in the wrong spot. On the written page, you must also correctly place the position players—in this case, pronouns. You don’t want to promote your bench players to first string if they don’t deserve it.

A pronoun stands in for a noun you’ve already mentioned, so in the sentence The pitcher said he was tired, you’re using “he” to avoid repeating “the pitcher.” Sometimes, though, pronouns creep into the wrong positions. Your readers won’t support a team that makes too many errors, so let’s review four main pronoun regulations. If you keep them straight, you won’t be ejected from the game.

Regulation 1: Remember which pronouns are subject pronouns and which are object pronouns.

No matter how much of a baseball or writing fan you are, you’re not allowed to say, Me and Jimmy sat behind the dugout. Me is an object pronoun and cannot be a subject; you must use I: Jimmy and I sat behind the dugout.

The other subject pronouns are he, she, you, we, they and it. They are subjects, as in He hit a home run.

The object pronouns are me, him, her, you, us, them and it. Object pronouns—are you ready for this?—are objects, as in The batter hit a home run to him.

Native speakers don’t make mistakes such as Them are my teammates; we naturally say, They are my teammates. However, we do sometimes promote object pronouns to subject pronouns when we’re talking about two individuals and want to emphasize the first one. You might hear someone say, Her and I met at the mall. Unless your characters are teenyboppers who are unconcerned with grammar, don’t put such words into their mouths.

Regulation 2: Do not put your pronoun before its antecedent.

Umpires don’t let players go to first base before they deserve a walk; batters have to wait until there are four balls—not three, two or one. Likewise, you’re not supposed to use a pronoun before you’ve mentioned the noun it replaces (called an “antecedent” because it comes before the pronoun).

If you use a pronoun before its antecedent, you’ll confuse your readers. I became disoriented when I read this Criminal Sentence:

If it’s available, make sure to order Armagnac.

When I arrived at the pronoun “it,” I wondered what singular item was being discussed (the antecedent did not appear in the sentence before). I had to read the entire sentence to get the full picture. Luckily, the fix is easy. Just reverse the pronoun and the noun:

If Armagnac is available, make sure to order it.

Here’s another Criminal Sentence that I wish hadn’t made it into print:

Though they’ve never seen facial expressions, people blind from birth still use them.

This sentence is confusing because we have no idea what the pronoun “they” is standing in for—until we read the whole sentence. As we find out later, “they” means “people blind from birth.” If we switch around the noun and pronoun, as we did for the Armagnac sentence, we solve the problem:

Though people blind from birth have never seen facial expressions, they still use them.

Although “people blind from birth” and “they” now line up correctly, this fix has introduced a new problem (see Regulation 3).

Regulation 3: Ensure that your pronoun does not have two or more potential antecedents.

Did the last part of that facial-expression sentence confuse you? The pronoun “they” seems to refer back to “facial expressions,” the plural noun closest to “they,” but another plural antecedent—the true one—is lurking earlier in the sentence: “people blind from birth.” We must rewrite the sentence to avoid this problem. After much huddling in the dugout, we’ve decided to avoid pronouns altogether and instead restate the two nouns in a more specific way:

Though people blind from birth have never seen facial expressions, the sight-impaired still grimace and smile, for example.

Another Criminal Sentence shows how ambiguous pronouns can be if you’re not careful:

The room contained a chair, a desk and a lone light bulb. It was twenty-six feet long by seventeen feet wide.

That’s a pretty big light bulb! In this sentence, the pronoun “it” could, in theory, refer to “room,” “chair,” “desk” or “light bulb.” If more than one potential antecedent presents itself, readers tend to match the pronoun to the last-mentioned noun, in this case “light bulb.” Let’s fix the absurdity. We could repeat the antecedent, but if we do, we get an inelegant pair of sentences:

The room contained a chair, a desk and a lone light bulb. The room was twenty-six feet long by seventeen feet wide.

Let’s just strip away the pronouns and say what we mean exactly:

The room, twenty-six feet long by seventeen feet wide, contained a chair, a desk and a lone light bulb.

Regulation 4: Check your pronoun-antecedent agreement.

Speakers and writers often use the plural pronoun “they” to refer back to a singular subject of unknown gender, as in An improv comedian must think on their feet. The plural pronoun “their” doesn’t match up with the singular noun “comedian.” Granted, it can sound awkward to write An improv comedian must think on his or her feet, especially if you continue describing the antics of the genderless person. You don’t want to keep writing “he or she,” “his or her” or “him or her.”

Some grammarians allow a plural pronoun to refer back to a singular subject if the gender is unknown. While it might be all right to do so in informal speech, I recommend rewording the sentence and avoiding this problem. In a longer work, you can choose to alternate between masculine and feminine pronouns, or you can make the antecedent plural: Improv comedians must think on their feet.

Now it’s your turn to think on your feet. Please help the pronouns in these Criminal Sentences get on the right base, and send your rewrites to curiouscase@hotmail.com:

1. Me Tarzan, you Jane.
2. Bill wrestled with Gunther. He eventually won the bout.
3. A writer must choose their words carefully.
4. After he arrived at the hospital room, the chaplain comforted the widower.
5. Between you and I, I don’t like getting up early.

Criminal Sentence 345: Size Matters

From an article in the paper:

"The complaints are small compared with the number of vehicles involved."

Were the complaints teeny tiny, itsy bitsy? Or were there just not that many?

An apple can be small, but complaints must be few if you're talking about amount.

I know why the writer used "small" instead of "few." See how the sentence sounds with the correct word:

"The complaints are few compared with the number of vehicles involved."

A little fuddy-duddy, eh? (Had to put that in as a nod to the Vancouver Olympics.) If you don't like using "few," then you can recast the sentence:

"When you consider the amount of vehicles involved, not very many actual complaints were registered."

Criminal Sentence 344: New Vehicle on the Road

I saw an interesting vehicle on the road yesterday and wanted to take a picture, but I couldn't get close enough. So you'll just have to take my word for it!

The letters that identified the model of a car said EXPOLRER.

Criminal Sentence 343: Sad Death, Sad Verb

From an article about the death of the luge athlete at the Olympics:

"Should video of death been shown on TV?"

I chose not to watch the video, but I was watching the verb in this sentence. Something is missing here. You need to add another helping verb: "have":

"Should video of death have been shown on TV?"

Poll Results 74

Here was the question:

Is the comma here wrong or right? "February, 2010"

Correct comma 34 (28%)
Incorrect comma 84 (71%)

Congrats to 71% of you. When you have just the month and the year, no comma is necessary. If you have a day, though, you do need a comma: February 15, 2010.