Criminal Sentence 676: Don't Be an "Ass"!

Happy Friday! I was looking at descriptions of new movies and came across this gem on the IMDb app about the film "How to Be Yours":

"Two people driven by their professional ambitions fall in love and are forced to reassess their goals ass they encounter the trials of a serious relationship."

The movie got a 7.2 rating, but I'll give that sentence a 10 for its entertainment value!

Criminal Sentence 675: This "Will Significantly Effect" You

Hello. I know it's been a while. The first sentence in an important newspaper story lured me from the kitchen table to the home office. (Yes, I am still in my pajamas.)

Here is the offender:

"Monday's U.S. Supreme Court ruling in a high-profile Texas abortion case will significantly effect how Arizona regulates abortion providers."

This article's lead grabbed my interest, but not in a good way. Politics aside, ugh! As this post's title suggests, there is a significant misspelling here: "effect" should be "affect." This error is pretty basic. If you Google "affect vs. efffect" you get 145 million hits, including a great explanation by my friend Grammar Girl.

For the most part, "effect" acts as a noun, as in "The effect of that blue eyeshadow is frightening." Most of the time when you need to use a verb, as in the offending sentence, you should use "affect" with an "a": "Will bad spelling affect my reputation?"

Yes, it will!

Criminal Sentence 674: Let's Visit Dairy Island!

A chuckle-inducing sentence from an online blog:

"Don't stray from the dairy isle."

Don't worry. I won't jump on a boat and sail to that island. Instead, I'll go to the dairy aisle!

Criminal Sentence 667: Which State Do You Live In?

From an online article:

"If Richard Linklater’s Boyhood doesn’t live up to the Oscar hype surrounding it, at least the writer and director of the unique coming-of-age tale can take comfort in knowing it was the President of the United State’s favorite film of the year."

Which state is that?

I think he meant "the President of the United States' favorite film."

As an aside, it was a great film!

Criminal Sentence 662: Beable

A dumb typo from a Website:

"Nearly 20% of Americans expect they will never beable to afford to retire, according to a survey by HSBC, a financial services company."

Can those Americans proofread their work?

Criminal Sentence 661: Holy Mackerel!

A big goof by the Vatican! It misspelled "Jesus":

http://www.examiner.com/article/jesus-misspelled-papal-medals-say-jesus-lesus-a-vatican-error-mass-recall

Criminal Sentence 658: The Effects of Bad Spelling

From an article about medicines used to combat stress:

"Unfortunately the side-affects of these drugs are often dangerous ..."

The "side-affects" spelling/unneeded hyphen caused me a teeny blip of stress! (It should be "side effects," with an "e" and no hyphen!)

To keep my cortisol level normal, I shall now meditate, do yoga, go to the gym or discuss the problem with a loved one. I will not sublimate the problem!

Criminal Sentence 648: Sweet!

From a book about space travel:

"...the Mojave Dessert facility..."

This sounds awesome! Chocolate at Mojave?

Oops! I guess this is a fun typo! "The Mojave Desert facility" (which refers to the Mojave Air & Space Port) sounds a little less sweet but more accurate.

Criminal Sentence 646: A Man or a Spread of Food?

From today's business section:

"Buffet joins Twitter: Billionaire Warren Buffett..."

Will this Twitter feed provide all-you-can-eat news?

Criminal Sentence 644: No Pain, No Grain

From a financial document I am editing:

"Within that landscape, we isolate singular investment opportunities for exploitation and capital grain."

Is the grain corn or wheat?

I just had to chuckle at that.

Criminal Sentence 639: A Male What?

According to my DVR, tomorrow's "Project Runway" has the contestants making clothes for a "male review."

I found this to be rather amusing. What are the men going to review?

Ah, someone should have written "male revue," which is a show where men gyrate around. :)

I will review the show as soon as it records!

Criminal Sentence 638: It's Just Lunch

From something I am editing (space related):

"...the demanding requirements of lunching humans into orbit..."

This was part of a very long sentence.

Are lunching humans demanding? I suppose I would demand no mustard but lots of mayo on my sandwich.

Criminal Sentence 636: Don't Pour That On Me!

From the book I'm editing: 

"The Simulation Supervisor and his evil team of training personnel would pour over all the procedures and rules."

I was starting to like this sentence because it had a little color (are training personnel over at NASA evil?). Then I got to "pour over." I started humming "Pour Some Sugar on Me," an 80s tune. 

Oh, wait. You didn't mean that someone poured a liquid on the procedures! You meant the people studied the procedures closely: pored. Glad we cleared that up!

Criminal Sentence 635: Take My Advice

This morning, I found another reason to dislike paying bills. This instruction is on the outside of an envelope:

"Enclose the remittance advise with your payment."

Cringe.

"Advise" is a verb, as in "I advise this company to check its spelling."

"Advice" is a noun, as in "Will you give me a discount if I enclose the remittance advice instead of the remittance advise?"

Criminal Sentence 628: Slwightly Misspelled

I was reading a national publication and came across this sentence:

"Consumer prices nudged up slwightly in 2012, so the average retiree, who gets $1,237 a month, will see an increase of just about $18."

I was slwightly disturbed the magazine didn't use Spell Check!

Criminal Sentence 623: Capitol?

From the joke-filled insert to "A Fish Called Wanda," one of my favorite comedies:

"Not surprisingly, Orocha, Spain is the scuba diving capitol of the world."

The word "capitol" refers to a building, such as the Capitol  in Washington, D.C.

There's also a comma error here: "Orocha, Spain is..." should be "Orocha, Spain, is..."

My apologies for being away for so long. I will try to post more regularly.

Criminal Sentence 622: Wrong Team

From today's paper:

"Our neighborhood is teaming with kids still in the single-digit ages."

Yikes! That would be "teeming"!

Kids are on a baseball team, but many kids teem.

Criminal Sentence 621: Due for a Spell Check

From something I'm editing:

"It was difficult living with a dog in the apartment, but we made due."

Uh-oh. That would be "made do."

Criminal Sentence 620: On the Mat

From something I'm editing:

"We stopped at the local laundry mat."

Just had to laugh there.

Criminal Sentence 619: Blemished Sentence

From the school lunch menu:

"Choose clementine's with a uniform orange color, shinny skin, with no blemishes or wrinkles."

First, no apostrophe needed in the plural noun.

Second, I've never heard of "shinny skin"!