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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Criminal Sentence 118: Subject confusion

A statement I would not vote for (I came across this piece guest-written by a politician):

"Making the decision to put these vital projects on the November ballot was not taken lightly."

When a person is involved, I always advocate including the person in the sentence. At the moment, here is the subject: "Making the decision to put these vital projects on the November ballot." No person in sight there. Here is the verb: "was not taken." Passive voice. Bad. Vague. Boring.
Even if this style were OK (which it's not), you can't say, "Making the decision was not taken lightly." That just doesn't make sense.
So who is deciding something not so lightly? The writer. Let's call him Chris.
Chris might want to say, "I didn't take lightly the decision to put these vital projects on the November ballot." That's still a bit not great (nominalization: "decision," plus "to take something lightly" is a cliche). It would be better to use the verb "to decide," as perhaps here:
"After doing hours of research, I decided to put these vital projects on the November ballot."
Politicians tend to avoid using "I" so they can deflect responsibility. You, however, should not be afraid to state who is doing what. You should be responsible for your sentences.

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