Criminal Sentence 310: Apostrophe abuse

From a Web site:

"If the cyst is small, its' rupture usually occurs unnoticed."

This is an apostrophe violation!

"Its" is a possessive adjective, as in "Its tail is wagging."
"It's" is a contraction of the words "it is," as in "It's raining/It is raining."
"Its'" is not a word.

Writer Mag Column 13: Three Grammar Myths Part 2

Ditch imaginary grammar rules, part 2

My last column dealt with three invented grammar rules, and I showed you why you don't need to follow them blindly. I want to clear up more misconceptions about grammar, so without further ado, here are three more fake rules.

Fake Rule 1: You must always use a comma before the last item in a series.

Punctuation rules are cut and dried. You must put a period at the end of a sentence. An end parenthesis is required if you've used a beginning one. And so on.

Punctuation rules are also complicated, but there's one rule you don't have to worry about anymore. It's called the serial comma, and it's not a rule but a style choice. Although The Chicago Manual of Style and The Elements of Style tell you to use a comma before the last item in a series of three or more items, you really don't have to. If, for example, you're writing that your character was wearing a hat, a purple necktie and a pair of shiny shoes, no comma is required after the word "necktie." Of course you can put one there if you want, but it's not mandatory.

Two caveats:

1) Once you've chosen which style you like, you need to be consistent. This means that if you prefer to use the serial comma, you should use it at all times, not just sometimes. If you prefer not to use it, then don't.

2) If readers could become confused by your list, use a comma before the last item—even if you are consistently not using the serial comma. Although you will no longer be 100 percent consistent, you'll be 100 percent clear.

For example, let's say you're writing about two married couples (Olivia/Ben and June/Chris) and a single woman (Jennifer) who had dinner together. It might be hard to tell who is with whom if you don't use the serial comma:

Olivia and Ben, June and Chris and Jennifer met at the restaurant.

If you want to make it clear that Jennifer arrived alone, you should add the serial comma:

Olivia and Ben, June and Chris, and Jennifer met at the restaurant.

Fake Rule 2: You're not allowed to use "since" to mean "because"; nor are you allowed to use "while" to mean "although."

Well, you can. Most of the time. Strict grammarians may not like it, but "since" and "because" can be synonyms, as can "while" and "although." My dictionary confirms it. Since we don't want to absentmindedly do away with perfectly good synonyms, let's keep them around. Here are some perfectly good sentences with "since" and "while":

"Since I love you, let's get married," he said.
"While I love you, too, I don't want to commit," she answered.

This conversation would be just as sad with "because" and "although":

"Because I love you, let's get married," he said.
"Although I love you, too, I don't want to commit," she answered.

Fussy grammarians might be a teensy bit right in some cases, though. "Since" and "while" do have other meanings, and you need to ensure you don't write an ambiguous sentence. You'll often use "since" to refer to how much time has passed, as here:

Since yesterday, all I've thought about is you.

You couldn't use the synonym "because" in that sentence. The same goes for "while" when you mean "at the same time as":

I thought about you while I was moping around.

"Although" would not make sense there.

Sometimes, readers may be unsure which sense of the word you mean, and that is when you should avoid using "since" and "while" to mean "because" and "although." The following two sentences could be interpreted in two ways:

Since they spoke, she's had second thoughts about her answer. ("Since" could mean "from the time that" or "because.")
While I loved her, she was not good to me. ("While" could mean "during the time that" or "although.")

Therefore, in cases where readers could interpret your meaning in two ways, stick with "because" or "although."

Fake Rule 3: You're not allowed to use "over" instead of "more than."

No actual grammatical rule states that "over" cannot be used instead of "more than" to mean "in excess of." It seems that some grammarians object to "over" simply because they're used to doing so. It's just a tradition, and it's time to break it.

Go ahead and choose whichever one sounds better in your particular sentence. For example, you could say you ran "over a mile" or you ran "more than a mile." Either way, you'd be a bit tired. You could also say the price is "not over $5" or "not more than $5." In these cases, either choice sounds fine.

Other times, one or the other will sound better. With ages, "over" usually sounds more natural:

Unfortunately, I am now over 39. (Not “I am now more than 39.”)

On the other hand, “more than” sounds better than “over” in this sentence:

His salary went up more than $1,000 a month. (That's quite an achievement, and it sounds more natural than “His salary went up over $1,000 a month.”)

In these last two columns, you've seen that it can be fun to ignore grumpy grammarians. From now on, though, I'll probably return to being a bit grumpy myself. I hope you won't ignore me!

Criminal Sentence 309: Where there's a "will" there's a way

From today's forecast in the paper:

"Day will start cool but warm up by afternoon"

Sounds a bit odd, doesn't it? I think it will sound much better with an extra "will":

"Day will start cool but will warm up by afternoon"

There was definitely space on the line.

Now that's a sunny forecast.

Criminal Sentence 308: Coffee with No Apostrophe II

Places that sell coffee apparently need help with their apostrophes (see this previous post). Here's another coffee-related apostrophe error:

Wish for good coffee at the in-laws

Let's pretend for a second that we're not wishing for good coffee at this place but rather at my house. How would we write it?

Wish for good coffee at Bonnie's

Note the apostrophe. So where does an apostrophe go in the original sentence? The apostrophe goes at the end of a plural noun, which in this case is "in-laws":

Wish for good coffee at the in-laws'

Commas in nouns of address

A reader sent me this funny story:

My friend is doing a birthday party for her husband. She just now phoned me from the bakery. She wanted them to put the following on the cake:

Happy 80^th Birthday, Bill

They were trying to tell her that they NEVER put a comma after the word “birthday” in something like that. They were being a bit obstinate about it, so Sharon called the “official Grammarian of Grossmont High School” (even if I am retired).

Well, of course, I told her, “Put that comma there, Baby! You’re 100% correct. “Bill” is a noun of direct address, and nouns of direct address are always set off by commas!

Ah, the beat goes on………

and I replied:

well good for you!!!!

Did you hear the rest of the story yet??

I think this is what they put on the cake:

Happy 80th Birthday comma Bill

New Grammar Girl Episode: "Because" or "Due to"?

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/because-due-to-since-as.aspx

Poll Results 64

Here was the question:

Is something wrong here? "The heart of Monet's home are the gardens, absolutely riotous with blooms."

Oui 68 (81%)
Non 15 (18%)

Congrats to 81% of you. The subject is the word "heart," which is singular, so the verb must be "is," not "are." I covered this topic in a recent Grammar Girl episode.

Criminal Sentence 307: Coffee with No Apostrophe

I didn't want to buy it, but it was the only coffee that met my requirements: dark roast and ground. It pained me to buy coffee that bragged this on the outside:

"A dark roast coffee lovers delight!"

Delightful taste but un-delightful punctuation.

Poll Results 63

Here was the question:

Is this right? "He would lie himself down at their feet if he had to?"
Yes 12 (17%)
No 55 (82%)

Congrats to 82% of you. When it's just you relaxing on a couch, you lie down. When you put something down, or yourself down, you lay something down, as in "Now I lay me down to sleep." So this had to be "He would lay himself down..."

Criminal Sentence 306: Not Expecting

From a book I'm reading:

"four months' pregnant"

That's clever (I mean, incorrect) apostrophe usage. It might at first seem to be similar to "four weeks' worth," which does require an apostrophe. However, if you put each of these in the singular, it's easy to tell where an apostrophe is warranted:

one month pregnant
one week's worth

You wouldn't write one month's pregnant, nor would you write one week worth.

New Grammar Girl Episode: Where versus In Which

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/where-versus-in-whichadverbs.aspx

Writer Mag Column 12: Three Grammar Myths

Ditch imaginary grammar rules, part 1

We grammarians love rules—and catching mistakes. You'll hear us say, "Don't put your apostrophe there. It goes here!" and "Make sure your subjects agree with your verbs!" Although we can be abrupt about grammar, we have to enforce these rules; otherwise, sentence chaos will ensue. And we will become upset.

Despite being one of those grammar snobs, I'm going to relax the rules today. Certain grammarians who came before me are wrong on a few counts. Yippee, you must be saying. We can ignore our grammar! Well, sort of. Let's take a closer look at a few questionable grammar rules.

Invented Grammar Rule 1: You may not end a sentence with a preposition.

Yes, you may! Winston Churchill weighed in on this supposed rule, saying, "That is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put." I agree. I will not put up with such odd sentences.

"To put up with" is an example of a phrasal verb, usually formed with a verb plus a preposition (or two). You can see from the Churchill example how ridiculous the no-preposition rule is. Writers should not have to go to such bizarre lengths to avoid a preposition at the end of a sentence. Here's a sentence we can't even stick a "which" into:

The lad shot up.

Here, we're saying that a boy grew tall—and fast. How can we not end the sentence with "up" unless we manufacture a new ending? I suppose "The lad shot up last year" sounds okay, but it's fine to stop at "up."

Of course, you are allowed to use "which" or "whom" to write around a preposition at the end of a sentence if you want to be more formal. Sometimes it sounds all right; other times it sounds ridiculous. Here's an example that's not so ridiculous:

Preposition at the end: That's the direction I came from.
Rewrite to avoid a preposition at the end: That's the direction from which I came.

Now, you do want to avoid unnecessary wordy prepositions, such as the ones that end these sentences:

Where's it at? ("Where is it?" will suffice.)
Where's he going to? ("Where's he going?" is just fine.)
That's the bridge the strict grammarian is going to jump off of. (You don't need "of.")

Invented Grammar Rule 2: You may not start a sentence with "because"; nor may you do so with "however."

Baloney! (Except if you write a "because" fragment, such as "Because I want to." But then there's the exception to the no-fragment rule, which is that you may use one occasionally to highlight something.)

As far as using "because," there's no reason to put the effect first and the cause second. It's perfectly fine to put the cause first and then mention the consequences. This invented rule seems to be one we follow out of habit. Because we're not used to putting "because" at the start, it might sound odd. However, we don't need to bother with this rule anymore. You may prefer to use "because" in the middle, and that's fine. But if you want to be a little daring, use "because" at the start.

As far as "however," which indicates a contrast, you can put it wherever you want (within reason). Here are some options:

She doesn't like chocolate. I, however, think she's crazy.
She likes vanilla ice cream. However, I think she's crazy.
She doesn't eat cake. I think she's crazy, however.
She hates cookies; however, I think she's crazy.

Pick a "however," any "however." However, check your punctuation, please.

Another "however" we need to consider is a "however" that no grammar stickler can complain about if it comes at the beginning:

However grammatical you are, you can always improve.

In this case, "however" means "to whatever extent."

Invented Grammar Rule 3: You may not split an infinitive.

Incorrect. Invented rules are made to be broken. There's no law against using an adverb to break up the two parts of an infinitive: the "to" and the verb, as in "to drive."

We have quite a few options, so let's look at them all. Here's a normal sentence that doesn't break any supposed rules:

I needed to drive her to the store quickly.

But what would happen if I put "quickly" between "to" and "drive"? Some grammarians would frown. However, it's fine to split the infinitive as long as it sounds natural.

I needed to quickly drive her to the store.

This sounds pretty natural, doesn't it? I think so. Don't listen to sticklers who would avoid splitting an infinitive by writing a weird sentence like this:

I needed quickly to drive her to the store.

Although sentences like these aren't wrong, I'm going to complain about them. They sound awkward. I like my adverbs in the middle because that's where they usually sound the most natural.

Occasionally, though, some adverbs don't fit smoothly between the two words of an infinitive:

I wanted to then eat a sandwich.
He had to almost be sick.
The ship began to now list.

These sentences sound much better with their adverbs elsewhere:

Then I wanted to eat a sandwich.
He almost had to be sick.
The ship now began to list.

If you're having trouble deciding how to place adverbs around an infinitive, just go with what sounds best to your ear.

One last warning: Don't accidentally place your adverb between two words that it could modify. Readers will then be unsure which item the adverb modifies. Consider these sentences:

I resolved to quickly do my homework. ("Quickly" goes with "do.")
I quickly resolved to do my homework. ("Quickly" goes with "resolved.")
I resolved to do my homework quickly. ("Quickly" goes with "do.")
I resolved quickly to do my homework. (Ambiguous and awkward: could mean "resolved quickly" or "to do quickly." A no-no.)

Warning to breakers of these non-rules
Although you've seen that these so-called rules are not true grammar rules, some grammarians might criticize your perfectly fine sentence. Therefore, consider your audience when you break one of these non-rules. If you're writing for a potentially uptight group or person, you might want to ensure your sentences don't rub anyone the wrong way, even if you're right and they're not.

In my next column, I'll take on a few more supposed grammar rules that you can break. Yippee!

Criminal Sentence 305: Linguists Can Write Awkwardly

I'm reading a book about the origins of English. The author is making the point that many linguists don't think that Welsh, Cornish, and Celtic had any influence on English. He, on the other hand, feels that these languages are related. The author came up with a really weird sentence as he was discussing why linguists dismiss these languages so easily:

"Frankly, another likely factor is that Irish, Welsh, and Cornish are not languages anyone is apt to become familiar with who is not of Celtic ancestry."

I had to read that a few times. Of course, all it comes down to is a misplaced modifier. The "who" clause does not modify "with." It modifies "anyone." I was surprised that a linguist would create such an odd sentence. Let's match things up:

"Frankly, another likely factor is that Irish, Welsh, and Cornish are not languages anyone who is not of Celtic ancestry is apt to become familiar with."

Grammatically okay but still hard to get (plus there are four "to be" verbs, which make the sentence wordy and dull). Let's try again:

"Frankly, linguists without Celtic ancestry are likely not familiar with Irish, Welsh, and Cornish."

I hope that is more intelligible.

Criminal Sentence 304: Helpful Comma

From something I edited:

"The bloated database was very hard to query making it difficult to identify problems."

You can't just stick in the "making" clause. Right now it's just sitting there. Let's add a helpful comma:

"The bloated database was very hard to query, making it difficult to identify problems."

Criminal Sentence 303: Who is a member?

From a brochure I got in the mail yesterday:

"As a loyal Get More Rewards member, we wanted to thank you with a few discounts to some local retailers."

Thanks, but your grammar stinks!

Who is a member? Not "we." Let's match things up better:

We wanted to thank you for being a loyal Get More Rewards member, so here are a few discounts to some local retailers.

If you wanted to keep the "As" at the beginning, it would have to be something like this:

As a loyal Get More Rewards member, you deserve some discounts.

Poll Results 62

This was the question:

What is wrong with this sentence? "He's been tracking criminals with a microscope for quite a number of years."

It's wordy. 11 (10%)
A phrase is in the wrong place. 36 (34%)
Something is spelled wrong. 0 (0%)
Two of the above. 40 (38%)
None of the above. 18 (17%)

Congrats to 38% of you. "Quite a number of years" is a wordy way of saying "many years." In addition, a phrase is in the wrong place: "with a microscope." You could interpret this sentence to mean that the criminals have a microscope, instead of the He of the sentence. It would not be ambiguous, or wordy, to say this:

"For many years, he's used a microscope to track criminals."

Criminal Sentence 302: What kind of soup is that?

On a sign at a drugstore:

"Cambell,s soup"

Sure the p is silent, but it's not absent.

And a comma is not the same as an apostrophe. See this mini-rant.

Reader Question: Welcome or Welcomed?

Here is a question from Robert:

Dear Bonnie,

Thank you so much for the extremely useful (and fun) episodes you have written for Grammar Girl. I've also found that "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier" is a must-have for anyone mindful of how to properly express themselves in writing and speaking.

I have a question for you, if I may. I trust I'm not the only one putting the "welcome vs. welcomed" question on the table, but I must admit I'm still not sure which one goes where and why. For example, in the sentence, "Your employees would be welcomed to paint alongside our volunteers," is welcomed used correctly? The meaning I'm going for is: "We would all love to have your employees paint alongside our volunteers."

Thank you so much for your help,
Robert
---------
Let's look at his sentence: "Your employees would be welcomed to paint alongside our volunteers." I have to say that I prefer his other one: "We would all love to have your employees paint alongside our volunteers." But to answer his question, "would be welcomed" is not incorrect; it is just passive voice. Some unnamed person is welcoming the employees to do something. In this case, "welcomed" is a verb.

You could say, "Your employees are welcome to paint." In this case, "welcome" is an adjective.

So the answer to the question is that you could use either "welcome" or "welcomed," depending on how you use it. Of course I generally advise against passive voice if there is a better, active way of putting your thought.

Thanks, Robert, for the question.

Criminal Sentence 301: Can tension stand?

From a book I'm reading:

"Standing before him, the colander clenched tightly before her, the tension in her face stabbed at him."

As I read this sentence, I got worried when I reached "the colander." I thought this was going to be a misplaced modifier, because "the colander" is not "standing before him." Then I realized I hadn't yet gotten to the subject of the sentence. So I relaxed. But then the stress went way up when I got to "the tension." The sentence did in fact contain a misplaced modifier. Tension cannot stand as far as I know; the "her" of the sentence is standing before him and is tense. Let's rewrite:

"As she stood before him, the colander clenched tightly before her, the tension in her face stabbed at him."

Criminal Sentence 300: Free. Free.

I redeemed my free birthday coffee today, thanks to a card I got in the mail:

"Come in for your free birthday drink. On us."

I appreciated getting a free drink but was wondering why they had to say it was free twice:

free = free
on us = free

Poll Results 61

This was the question:

Please ask a friend, co-worker or family member who doesn't read this blog: Agree or disagree? These days, the general public doesn't know much about grammar and punctuation.

Agree 55 (96%)
Disagree 2 (3%)

Sounds like a bunch of grammatical friends!

Traditional or Modern Apostrophe

Do you know how to make a singular noun that ends in s possessive?

Tennis' greatest rivalry or tennis's greatest rivalry?

Some guides tell you 's and some tell you just '. The traditional view is 's, but nowadays just an apostrophe is accepted. Do you think that's criminal or acceptable?

Writer Mag Column 11: Avoiding Generic Words and Cliches

Spice up your writing: Avoid generic words and clichés

Are you one of those people who eats the same dinners every week? Meatloaf on Monday, spaghetti and meatballs on Tuesday, etc., etc.? If this describes your eating habits, your palate might welcome some new flavors. And if you write the same way—using the same old generic vocabulary and clichés again and again—your readers might appreciate fresh words and some spice in your writing.

After all, readers enjoy specific, entertaining prose, not vague sentences that anyone could write. If you've been reading this column regularly, you know that I've complained about a number of vague and wordy ways of writing. You've seen how to replace weak verbs with better ones and how to use clear subjects along with your clear verbs. Now it's time to do more: stop using general nouns and adjectives, and get out of that box—I mean, stop using clichés so often.

Writers slip into using generic vocabulary when they are writing a first draft or are too tired to come up with anything better. If you have jet lag, I suppose I can excuse you. Otherwise, think harder and use your imagination, please. Here's a short list of words that you can almost always replace with something more specific:

• People/person
• Man
• Woman
• Thing
• Bad
• Good
• Interesting
• Different

These meat and potato words are neither good nor interesting to read. "The man was bad" just doesn't cut it. Of course, when you're scribbling out a first draft, feel free to use generic words, but when you're polishing, vary your vocabulary. Perk up your prose by adding a bit of frisée, a few parsnips or other uncommon ingredients.

When searching for the right word to impress your readers, you could spend a lot of time using a thesaurus, but I don't want you to do that. Pompous-sounding and out-of-place vocabulary attracts negative attention. Readers don't want to try to remember the meaning of an SAT word every paragraph. Nor do they relish whipping out their dictionaries too often. I once read a book that used the word "fissiparous" numerous times. You won't be surprised to hear that I almost put the book down numerous times. I stuck with it, though, because I did want to hear about the Battle of Hastings. I had to force myself to overlook the writer's atrocious professorial style so that I could learn all about 1066.

Although the thesaurus is out, I do want you to spend a few extra seconds to be more precise with your descriptions. You could say that I mean for you to "go the extra mile," but that would be a cliché!

The first person who wrote "think outside the box" was very creative; these days, though, that is a tired phrase and I never want to see it again. Understandably, you don't want to "reinvent the wheel," so you're tempted to use familiar phrases. In other words, you're tempted to be lazy. But it's a bad idea to "beat a dead horse to death." Here's a short list of clichés to "put out to pasture":

• Going forward
• Strong as an ox
• Looking ahead to the future
• Cutting edge
• As big as a house
• Pushing the envelope

When readers encounter phrases they've seen over and over, they don't pay much attention. They may even roll their eyes. Inventive ways of putting words together, on the other hand, jump out at readers and make them remember what you've written. You write to be creative, don't you? Now is your opportunity.

Of course, you don't want to write something overly bizarre, although I do admit it might be briefly entertaining to pen the words "she scribbled like a fairy eating rutabagas." Just like overly fancy vocabulary, words that don't go together attract negative attention.

Let's practice not writing like everyone else. Here's a drab paragraph that is similar to what you might read in an unimaginative marketing piece. (Pity me because I get to edit a lot of such drivel.) Please "bite the bullet" and cook up something a bit better.

Criminal Paragraph:
The company is committed to providing quality products and timely, cost-effective solutions to customers, and years of knowledge and understanding have helped the people be good at their jobs. The workers meet their customers' needs every day, and going forward, they plan to meet their most challenging requirements. The products that the company offers are top quality and can't be beat. In addition, the company can quickly and accurately identify the necessary steps to ensure complete satisfaction and overall success.

Please send your rewrites to curiouscase@hotmail.com. I look forward to reading your spicy concoctions. Anything you write is bound to be an improvement. Be as creative as you like, and be sure to add some ingredients I haven't seen before.

When the Grammarian Doesn't Know Everything

I hate to admit it, but I do not know everything about grammar or spelling.

I was recently trying to remember how a certain expression is spelled: Is it "rack your brain" or "wrack your brain"? Hmm. I had to look it up because I didn't know. Turns out that it's "rack."

Apparently "wrack" is similar to "wreck," and appears in the set phrase "wrack and ruin."

My valuable "Garner's Modern American Usage" tells me that "the root meaning of brain-racking refers to stretching, hence to torture by stretching." Ouch.

Criminal Sentence 299: Schizo

From a sign in a shop:

"Bra's and Panties"

I can never understand how someone can write a sign like this. One part is correct while the other is wrong. Does the person make a mistake and then realize it's a mistake so the next part is right, but then forgets to correct the first part? Or is the person just not thinking? Can anyone enlighten me?

P.S. No apostrophe needed!

Criminal Sentence 298: I'm Guilty

This, unfortunately, is my own Criminal Sentence. Luckily, I caught it before it was published:

"Pompous-sounding and out-of-place vocabulary attract negative attention."

Yikes! That should be "attracts." The subject is "vocabulary," which is singular. I got distracted by the two compound adjectives.

You can read this corrected sentence, and the rest of my extremely grammatical article, on Thursday, when my new Writermag.com column comes out.

Poll Results 60

Here was the question:

What is lying on the desk in this sentence? "There are letters from Confederate soldiers lying on a Federal desk."

Letters 42 (50%)
Soldiers 12 (14%)
Could be either 27 (32%)
Neither 2 (2%)

Grammatically speaking, the word "soldiers" comes right before the clause "lying on a Federal desk," so congrats to 14% of you. We all know that the writer meant "letters," but the "from" prepositional phrase got in the way, as it so often does with misplaced modifiers.

Those of you who did not get the right answer, please reread the blog entries that are marked Grammar. You could use a refresher on the dreaded misplaced modifier problem.

Criminal Sentence 297: Examples include this redundancy

From something I'm editing:

"Examples include a, b, and c."

This is redundant. "Example" means an item that represents a group as a whole; "includes" means is part of a larger group. It would be less redundant to say, "Examples are a, b, and c" or "..., including a, b, and c."

Also, when you use the word "include," you don't have to then use "and so on" or "etc." because by definition you are not giving a complete list.

While we're on this subject, the Latin abbreviation "e.g." means "for example."

Criminal Sentence 296: A Recomandation for Spammers

The title of a junk e-mail I received and laughed at:

"A recomandation from a friend"

None of my friends misspell words in that way.

Being a spammer must be a hard job: all that rejection. Not that I want to encourage spammers, but they might get more people to open their e-mail messages if they spelled simple words correctly.

Criminal Sentence 295: Curing Aides

From a thank-you note written by a patient and posted at the hospital where I volunteer:

"THANKS TO NURSES AND AIDS"

This is an unfortunate mistake. AIDS is a terrible disease; aides are helpers.

Criminal Sentence 294: Double Prepositions

Overheard on TV:

"That's the code in which I live by."

This is spectacularly bad. It uses two prepositions when only one is needed, and it uses two distinct ones, too. Here's what it should say:

"That's the code by which I live."

or

"That's the code I live by."

A similar error crops up in a Beatles song:

"the world in which we live in"

Poll Results 59

This was the question:

Which apostrophe is correct?

The apostrophes' uses are many.	9 (8%)
The comedian's salaries are too high.	3 (2%)
I've never searched a clients' office.	6 (5%)
The apostrophe's a wonderful punctuation mark.	84 (82%)

Congrats to 82% of you. Here are four correct apostrophes:

The apostrophe's uses are many.
The comedians' salaries are too high.
I've never searched a client's office.
The apostrophe's a wonderful punctuation mark.

Criminal Sentence 293: Fat or Thin?

Courtesy of CNN:

"Fat CEO salaries..."

Not thin CEO salaries?

The caption was complaining that these salaries were too large, not that the CEOs were too large. This is what I would call ambiguous. You could interpret it to mean that the salaries were fat, or that the CEOs were fat.

I would suggest rewording it:

"Fat salaries of CEOs"

I don't normally advocate using more words, but in this case being a bit wordy results in not being ambiguous.

New Grammar Girl Episode: Italics

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/how-to-use-italics.aspx

Criminal Sentence 292: You're/Your in Trouble

From a sign I saw at the hospital where I volunteer:

"You're attention please."

Is this sign telling me that I am attention? You are attention?

No!! It is a sign that needs an emergency intervention!

"Your attention please. Sometimes you need an apostrophe, and sometimes you don't. Thank you for listening."

Criminal Sentence 291: From It That (Yep, You Read It Right)

And now for something completely ungrammatical, from a newspaper article about how DNA in a leech helped solve a crime in Australia:

"Detectives found the leech at the crime scene and extracted blood from it that they believed was from one of the two suspects."

Yep. The words "from it that" are not allowed in English. They just don't make sense in that order.

If we want this sentence to make sense, let's just move some words around:

"Detectives found the leech at the crime scene and extracted from it blood that they believed was from one of the two suspects."

I realize that this sounds a little stilted, so it's fine to delete the words "from it," since that is understood:

"Detectives found the leech at the crime scene and extracted blood that they believed was from one of the two suspects."

Criminal Sentence 290: Let's Have a Duel

From something I edited:

"duel locking feature"

That's a silly feature.

"Duel"=a fight between two people (noun)
"Dual"=describing two (adjective)

Poll Results 58

This was the question:

Does this sentence make you chuckle? "Covered in a thick layer of dust, Martin was certain that the tray hadn't been touched in years."

Yes. That's a hilarious misplaced modifier.	45 (73%)
No. The sentence looks all right to me.	8 (13%)
No. I see it's a misplaced modifier, but so what?	8 (13%)

Of course I thought it was hilarious. Martin is not covered in dust; the tray is.

Criminal Sentence 289: Brooch or Broach?

From a book I finished:

"...a diamond broach..."

Brooch=Jewelry you pin on (noun)
Broach=To raise a subject (verb)

Poll Results 57

This was the question:

How many errors are in this sentence? "The paramedic, who tried to staunch the flow of blood rushed patient to the hospital."

One	16 (11%)
Two	81 (56%)
Three	42 (29%)
None	5 (3%)

So 29% of you are correct. Here are the three errors:

1) To staunch should be to stanch. These two words are confused all the time. Staunch is an adjective meaning firm, as in I am a staunch believer in good spelling. Stanch is a verb that means to stop the flow, as in I stanched the flow of blood coming from my head.
2) You can't have just one comma. You need either two (the second one would be after blood) or none, depending on the context.
3) The word the is missing before patient.

Sorry I haven't been posting lately. I was in Italy. I highly recommend Pompeii!

Writer Mag Column 10: Long Sentences/Fragments

Aim to be average: Avoid overly long sentences and sentence fragments

No writer wants to be average. As far as your sentence length, though, average is better most of the time. The long and the short of it is this: If you stuff in too many things, you’ve got an overly long sentence. Readers shy away from such sentences because they hate getting lost amid clauses and commas. On the other hand, if you leave out a subject, verb and/or object, you’re stuck with a fragment. Incomplete sentences may annoy readers if you use this device too often. Neither kind of sentence is ideal--usually.

Let’s look at long sentences first. Marcel Proust is famous for writing long, unintelligible--I mean, artful--sentences. He even wrote a 958-word behemoth once. Congratulations to him, but too bad for readers. Back in Proust’s day, e-mail and TV didn’t exist to distract the public, so I guess readers were a hardier bunch. And copy editors must have been scarce. Nowadays, though, most readers won’t stand for such windiness. They just don’t have a very long attention span.

Proust’s enormous sentence is an anomaly, but long sentences certainly haven’t disappeared. These days, plenty of meandering sentences roam through manuscripts. Here are some ways to tell if your sentence is too long:

1. You read your sentence but can’t remember what happened at the beginning of it.

2. The sentence contains more than 20 words.

3. The grammar-checker in your word-processing program underlines your entire sentence with a long squiggle, and the squiggle goes on for several lines.

4. Your sentence contains too many “which,” “that” and “who” clauses; an overabundance of commas and semicolons; at least a few cases of “and” or “but”; and multiple pairs of em dashes or parentheses.

The best way to tame your inner Proust is to figure out what you’re trying to say. Pinpoint what your main idea is. This is often difficult because you’ve probably crammed two or three main points into your long sentence. Once you remember the sentence’s main idea, you must cut out all of your detours. You’ll then have to strategically place these leftovers somewhere else. You can create new sentences out of some of these parts. Other parts you may have to squeeze in somewhere nearby. You may even need to delete some of your leftover crumbs, so don’t become too attached to every word you create. Once you’ve allotted everything to its proper location, make sure all of your new sentences fit together seamlessly.

You’re aiming for medium-sized sentences--around 20 words long on average. Average length means minuscule by Proust’s standards. Although Proust was able to cram in 10 or more ideas into each sentence, today’s readers can’t process that many ideas simultaneously.

Let’s do a little test to see how many ideas are too many for one sentence:

One idea: The actress went to an audition. (Fine.)

Two ideas: Although the actress went to the audition, she didn’t get the part. (Still fine.)

Three ideas: Although the actress went to the audition, which lasted one hour, she didn’t get the part. (Still fine, but getting to be a little long.)

Four ideas: Although the actress went to the audition, which lasted one hour, she didn’t get the part, which was for a woman who was stranded on a desert island. (Eek! That’s too unwieldy for most readers.)

Five ideas: Let’s not even go there.

If you wanted to impart all the information in the four-idea sentence, you’d have to break it into two sentences. One option would be this: Although the actress went to the one-hour audition, she didn’t get the part. She would have been playing a woman stranded on a desert island. Or you could eliminate one of the ideas, as here: The actress auditioned for but didn’t get the part of the woman stranded on a desert island.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, we find sentence fragments. Also known as incomplete sentences. Hey, do you think Proust ever wrote one of those? Nah. Bet not. Incomplete sentences are missing something. Often the subject.

Fragments can be a good device to use when you want to highlight something dramatic. For example, you might write, “The lurking man was carrying something in a knapsack. A head.” This fragment says, “Wow! Look at me. I’m special.”

Fragments do indeed call attention to themselves, but please use your head. If you overdo them, you’ll annoy your readers, and then nothing you write will seem special anymore. You may even confuse readers if you stick in a fragment that doesn’t clearly relate to the surrounding sentences.

So now we know that we don’t want sentences that are too long or too short. But by no means am I suggesting that every sentence be the same length. A string of medium-sized sentences would anesthetize readers. I am suggesting, though, that you use long sentences and fragments sparingly. Use just enough to keep your readers interested. Vary the rhythm.

No Criminal Sentences today, but I invite you to e-mail me egregious examples of overly long sentences or fragments that seem to come out of nowhere. Send candidates to curiouscase@hotmail.com, and we’ll post the best one in each category.

Poll Results 56

This was the question:

Which do you prefer?

Your savings is $0.50. 38 (51%)
Your savings are $0.50. 36 (48%)

That's pretty close. That's not unexpected because both are allowed.

Question: Where does "also" go?

A great question from Mary:

Please weigh in on the recent trend of using the AP Stylebook as an excuse to rail against any use of split infinitives and even "split" verb phrases. Often the changes these folks insist on making render the sentence clunky, formal, and grating, at least to my ears.

What do you think? For example, they change the perfectly fine

"The techniques are also used to fight cancer." to "The techniques also are used to fight cancer."

I agree that the "also" sounds better in the first sentence. The AP Stylebook advises "In general, avoid awkward constructions that split infinitive forms of a verb or compound forms.... Occasionally, however, a split is not awkward and is necessary to convey meaning." An example it doesn't like: "There stood the wagon that we had early last autumn left by the barn." Of course it prefers "There stood the wagon that we had left by the barn early last autumn."

The listing in the AP Stylebook doesn't specifically use "also," but I know I have read newspaper sentences that use "also" in an awkward manner. I guess we can just call it a style, and if you don't like it and don't work for a newspaper, you can put your "also" wherever seems natural.

Two links to Grammar Girl episodes that touch on these subjects:

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/splitting-verbs.aspx
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/split-infinitives.aspx

Criminal Sentence 288: How Many Lawyers?

From a book I'm reading:

"[I] looked through the lawyer's directory until I found a number, and made the call."

If there really were something called a lawyer's directory, only one name would be in it because the apostrophe tells us so: lawyer's.

So I think we need to put the apostrophe in the right place: lawyers'.

Writer Mag Column 9: Using the Wrong Word

Under the Whether: Fix embarrassing word errors

I’ve seen some very sick sentences lately. One in particular made me wince in pain and laugh at the same time. Back in May, I was unlucky enough to suffer from a painful ear infection. Aside from going to the doc multiple times and being dosed with various antibiotics, I went to a medical Web site to learn more about my unfortunate condition. This is when I learned the painful truth of my illness: “If the infection builds up, the eardrum may rupture to allow the puss to flow out.”

Oh, I see. A cat is to blame for my ruptured eardrum. When I read this error, I was in too much pain to inform the site about it, but now that I’m healed perhaps I should tell them that one of their sentences is gravely ill. I wouldn’t be surprised if I encountered more sick sentences on this Web site. And I hate to tell you this, but many of your sentences undoubtedly suffer from this illness, too.

Our language is beautiful but a pain in the eardrum as well. Too many words sound alike, confusing the unready. English contains pairs and trios such as “principal”/“principle,” “hanger”/“hangar” and “palate”/“pallet”/“palette.” The list is interminable; the possibilities for word mix-ups, endless.

As a copy editor, I’ve met many sentences that are at death’s door, and I callously laugh at their plight. Word errors are funny—as long as someone else has goofed. It’s great to put your readers at ease with a joke or two, but if they’re smiling at what you wrote in all seriousness, that’s not good.

Word errors are a real problem because they slip in unnoticed and are extremely hard to catch—even if you’re a seasoned writer who proofreads closely. Even copy editors aren’t immune: I once wrote “chocolate moose” when referring to a luscious brown dessert. I can excuse myself because I was only eight, but if you write for a living, there is no excuse.

If you’ve ever written “discreet” instead of “discrete,” it’s really not your fault, though. You can blame your brain, which sometimes takes a little vacation. You’re writing quickly so your ideas don’t evaporate. You’re paying attention to plot and dialogue. You’re thinking about that luscious brown dessert you promised yourself—if you write enough. You’re completely unaware that you thanked an editor for “pouring” over your manuscript or that you described a queen sitting on her “thrown.”

As a diligent writer, you must “pore” over your work carefully. (You can “pour” while you pore, but please make sure it’s something liquid.) As a wordsmith, you must protect your “throne.” (If you sit on a “thrown,” your subjects will throw you off it immediately.) As a writing professional, you must stand up for correct writing “principles.” (You can stand up for a school “principal” if one is in trouble.)

Now that you know about this devastating illness, you can work towards a cure. You’re probably already taking some basic precautions. You look words up in the dictionary, and you use Spell Check on every piece. Forgive me for this blunt warning, butt pleas dew knot re-lie on Spell Check too fined yore miss-takes! Spell Check misses a lot.

Frankly, the only way to catch word errors is to turn into a suspicious hypochondriac. Not very relaxing, but it gets the job done. When you proofread yourself, imagine it’s a worst-case scenario. Suspect it’s wrong and it might be. Start thinking like a proofreader. Pair up similar-sounding words in your brain, and when you come across one of the words, do a double take to ensure you’ve written the right one. For me, alarms go off with these words: “it’s” and “its,” “compliment” and “complement,” “affect” and “effect,” “conscience” and “conscious,” “hoard” and “horde,” and my favorite—“public” and that other word without the “l.”

Even when my brain is ready to catch mistakes, I still need to do more. It is so difficult to find lurking word errors that I have to resort to a robotic chant to catch them. I can’t just read the words as if I were a regular person relaxing with a book. I have to say each word aloud in a monotone, syllable by syllable. This slow, ridiculous reading prevents my brain from skimming over the words. You should try it too, but not in front of a first date or anyone you want to impress.

Word errors will embarrass you and will make you shriek in pain and horror if you discover them after they’ve been printed. No one wants to write sick sentences, so consider following my unconventional advice. Your writing will undoubtedly become cleaner, and you’re chant mite even help yew fined sum other errors, two!

Here are some amusing Criminal Sentences for you to fix:

Criminal Sentence 1: “The patient’s body becomes tense as she steals herself to endure the dental procedure.”

Criminal Sentence 2: “Often the words are out before we can reign them in.”

Criminal Sentence 3: “All parents must make sure there kids are taking the right shoes.”

Criminal Sentence 4: “I hear lots of people complaining about the economy and how it’s effecting them.”

Criminal Sentence 5: “The writer would like to thank the many who leant their time, wisdom, and patience to the improvement of this book.”

Please send your answers to curiouscase@hotmail.com. The doctor will be in and ready to examine your sentences.

Answers

Criminal Sentence 1: “The patient’s body becomes tense as she steels herself to endure the dental procedure.”

Criminal Sentence 2: “Often the words are out before we can rein them in.”

Criminal Sentence 3: “All parents must make sure their kids are taking the right shoes.”

Criminal Sentence 4: “I hear lots of people complaining about the economy and how it’s affecting them.”

Criminal Sentence 5: “The writer would like to thank the many who lent their time, wisdom, and patience to the improvement of this book.”

Criminal Sentence 287: Two Misplaced Modifiers

Two lovely sentences from the same book:

1) "Mr. Sanders has friends in the building he was visiting that night."
2) "I went to the files in the corner of my office that Detective Carruthers had given me..."

Both of these have the same problem: misplaced modifier.

1) Was he visiting the friends or the building? Not the building, as suggested here. Friends. "That night, Mr. Sanders was visiting friends in the building."
2) Did the detective give me the files or the office? Not the office, as suggested here. Files. "I went to the corner of my office to get the files that Detective C had given me..."

If you have two nouns that a clause could modify, be sure you put the modifying clause next to the right noun.

Criminal Sentence 286: Have Patient's

Every Tuesday I volunteer at a hospital, and once again I cringed at a sign they've posted outside the little kitchen area:

"For the safety of the patient's, staff only."

That tries my patient's!

Poll Results 55

Here was the question:

How many punctuation marks are missing in this sentence? "Thank you Arizona for supporting your home town theatre."

One	17 (14%)
Two	72 (61%)
Three	19 (16%)
None	10 (8%)

Congrats to 61% of you. You need commas around "Arizona." In addition, "home town" is one word with no space.

Criminal Sentence 285: Double After

The first paragraph of a newspaper article:

"Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was hospitalized Thursday after becoming ill in her office at the court after treatment for an iron deficiency."

I'm not so sure that I like two cases of "after" in this sentence, and there are too many prepositional phrases:

after becoming ill
in her office
at the court
after treatment
for an iron deficiency

I know that newspaper reporters want to cram in all the facts in the first sentence, but this is a bit much. Let's break it up:

"Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was hospitalized Thursday after becoming ill in her office at the court. She had just undergone treatment for an iron deficiency."

Criminal Sentence 284: Who's humiliated?

From a book I finished yesterday:

"Red in the face and shaking in the limbs, I supposed he wanted nothing more than to flee this humiliation..."

Who is red in the face here? Not the "I" of the sentence. The "he" is the one with the red face and shaking limbs. You'll have to rearrange the sentence to fix this misplaced modifier:

"Red in the face and shaking in the limbs, he seemed to want nothing more than to flee this humiliation..."

Criminal Sentence 283: Council/counsel

From a book I'm reading:

"I kept my council."

When you are keeping your opinion to yourself, you keep your "counsel." A "council" is a group of people such as the student council.

Criminal Sentence 282: What an affect/effect!

From a book I'm reading:

"... if I don't affect some change in the nature of things, I shall be quite ruined..."

Affect/effect is one of those pairs that trips people up.

Affect as a verb means to influence, as in Her sleepiness did not affect the outcome.
Affect as a noun is a psychiatric term that refers to someone's demeanor, as in He had flat affect.
Effect as a verb often goes with "change," as in If you want to effect change, you must...
Effect as a noun often goes with "cause," as in Cause and effect: The effect of the chocolate was immediate.

Poll Results 54

Here was the question:

Would you shop at a place with this sign? "We beat all competitor's prices."
Yes. I don't see an error. 8 (8%)
No. I refuse to shop at places that use apostrophe errors. 21 (22%)
Yes. But I wish the shop would fix the error. 66 (69%)

"All competitor's" is not possible. "All" suggests more than one; "competitor's" suggests one. The store should change its sign to "all competitors'."

New Guest-Written Grammar Girl Episode: "Comprise" v "Compose"

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/comprise-versus-compose.aspx

Criminal Sentence 281: A little bit of wordiness

From a Web site:

"It gives us a little bit of optimism."

No grammatical problems here, but it's just too wordy for my taste. Eight words here when four would do:

"We are slightly optimistic."

Try your best to cut words. Your readers will thank you!

Writer Mag Column 8: Subject-Verb Agreement

Follow the Yellow Brick Road…: Take the Correct Steps to Fix Problems with Subject-Verb Agreement

Life used to be simpler: no Facebook, no YouTube, no MySpace. Nowadays, though, everybody uses these and other distractions to avoid working. Perhaps even some writers are guilty of this. Nah, not you… Well, even if you don’t use the Internet to avoid figuring out your next plot point, you do need to be aware of some dangerous distractions for writers: certain words or phrases that cause you to make mistakes with your subject-verb agreement. We writers need to watch out for this distracting stuff. If we don’t, our credibility might be shot.

Let’s review the basics for a minute. I know that you know this already, but please bear with me: Even the best writers are occasionally careless with their subjects and verbs. A singular subject agrees with a singular verb, and a plural subject agrees with a plural verb. A singular subject involves a single item (e.g., “the tornado”) or a lone person (e.g., “the Wicked Witch”). A plural subject involves more than one item or person, such as “some incorrect sentences” or “the unhappy copy editors.”

Your subject-verb agreement is most likely fine when the subject lies close to the verb, as it is here: “The Wicked Witch of the West is melting.” The singular subject “witch” pairs up with the singular verb “is melting.” Obviously. I’m certain, though, that you sometimes commit a ghastly grammar goof when the subject is far from the verb. When you are in a hurry or are trying to cram too much into one sentence, careless errors strike.

Writers need to concentrate and stay on the yellow brick road. You can’t get on the correct path, though, unless you’re aware of the three main distractions that come between the subject and the verb. Prepositional phrases; the word “and”; and “that,” “which” and “who” clauses are the sneaky things that distract you and make you use the wrong verb.

Let’s tackle the most common troublemaker first: a prepositional phrase. Writers sometimes get confused because they mistakenly think that the last word of such a phrase is the subject. As the Wizard himself said, “Ignore the man behind the curtain.” You too must temporarily ignore a prepositional phrase when it follows the main word of your subject. Let’s dissect this Criminal Sentence, which I found in a book:

The meaning of these words aren’t known.

And the correctness of grammar aren’t known, either. In this bad sentence, the prepositional phrase “of these words” is in the way, and it apparently stunned the writer into confusion. If you just take it out for a minute, you can clearly see that the subject, “the meaning,” is singular. Therefore, the verb should be “isn’t” instead of “aren’t.”

“Who,” “which” and “that” clauses are sneaky distractions that interfere in the same way as prepositional phrases, but not when they’re alone. For example, it’s very unlikely that a native English speaker would make a mistake like this:

The Wicked Witch, who was having tea with her sisters, like monkeys.

Hang on and we’ll discuss these clauses in a minute.

The pesky word “and” causes some problems with subject-verb agreement. As we all know, the word “and” joins two (or more) items together. Logically, a compound subject, such as “Dorothy and Toto,” takes a plural verb. Sometimes, though, writers mess up even this seemingly simple kind of sentence. Take, for example, this Criminal Sentence, which I heard while on hold to make a doctor’s appointment:

Your patience and consideration is very much appreciated.

I did not appreciate that at all, and my patience was as sore as my throat. Amnesiac writers forget about the first part of their subject, so they use the wrong verb. The person who wrote this beauty certainly suffered some memory loss, because he or she forgot that “patience” and “consideration” are two separate things. Mr. or Ms. Careless should have used “are” instead.

Now back to those devious “who,” “which” and “that” clauses. They’re not problematic by themselves, but they do cause a problem when a sentence contains one of them along with a prepositional phrase or an “and.” Take this Criminal Sentence, which contains two distracting “who” clauses and an “and”:

The defendant, who was going on trial for murder, and her attorney, who was just out of law school, was late to court.

When your sentence is too long, as it is here, too much stuff is in the way and you make an error. Again, forget the man behind the curtain. The compound subject hidden amidst all the verbiage is “the defendant and her attorney,” so the verb should be “were.”

Now we must click our heels together and concentrate on how to fix these common errors, which make readers question your integrity. If you haven’t been getting regular agreement checkups, please promise to get on the right track immediately. It’s actually quite easy to stay on the yellow brick road. Simply find your subject and circle just the word (or words) that form the subject—and ignore everything else. Then, underline the verb and check if subject and verb match. If they don’t, berate yourself for a few minutes and then fix the problem.

These circles and underlines might seem tedious, but please mark up your pages until you learn to ignore all of these distractions. Both you and your readers will feel much better if you examine your work thoroughly and get rid of careless errors.

Here are three Criminal Sentences to help you practice:

Criminal Sentence 1: The use of cell phones and pagers are prohibited.

Criminal Sentence 2: The safety and well-being of neighborhoods surrounding the airport has become a serious concern.

Criminal Sentence 3: The problem with these sandwiches, which my son fixed for me, are that they contain mustard.

Please fix these sick sentences before the Wicked Witch gets you. Send your corrections to curiouscase@hotmail.com and I’ll let you know if you made it back to Kansas or not.

Answers:

Criminal Sentence 1: The use of cell phones and pagers is prohibited.

Criminal Sentence 2: The safety and well-being of neighborhoods surrounding the airport have become serious concerns.

Criminal Sentence 3: The problem with these sandwiches, which my son fixed for me, is that they contain mustard.

Reader Question

A reader wanted to know if this sentence contained correct grammar:

"Playing music games requires an intense focus on the separate elements of a song..."

He was mostly interested in knowing if "requires" was the correct verb. The answer is yes.

Here are some other examples:

Singing in the shower is fun.
Singing songs in the shower is fun.

It becomes plural if you have an "and":
Singing and dancing in the shower are fun.

Criminal Sentence 280: Hyphen or Em Dash

From a Web site about foods with too much sugar:

"Granola bars. Often deemed a healthful snack, some are tricky-a 1-ounce serving of a granola bar with oats, fruit, and nuts has 11 grams of added sugar."

This sentence is confusing: "tricky-a" makes no sense. It would make sense, though, to use a double hyphen (which turns into an em dash in Word): "some are tricky--a 1-ounce serving..."

Criminal Sentence 279: Before or After Math?

Seen on ESPN2:

"The after math of the Serena meltdown"

I thought this was an interesting error. "Aftermath" is a compound word with no space; "after math" might mean after a math class.

You can do better than that, ESPN2!

Poll Results 53

This was the question:

Which sentence uses the correct punctuation?
Do you think we should call her "Bubby?" 40 (31%)
Do you think we should call her "Bubby"? 87 (68%)

Congrats to 68% of you.
When the item in quotation marks is a question in itself, then the question mark goes inside the quotation marks. as here: He asked, "Did you arrive on time?"
When the item in quotation marks is part of a larger question, then the question mark goes outside the quotation marks. as in the correct answer.

Criminal Sentence 278: Former vs Formal

From a Web site:

"I ran into my formal teacher."

She meant "former teacher," I believe, unless her teacher was not informal. :)

"Former" means "previous."
"Formal" means "not informal."

I suppose they are easy to confuse, so watch out.

Criminal Sentence 277: Bad Quality

Heard on the US Open telecast:

"The quality of second serves aren’t good."

And the quality of the sentence ISN'T good.

Ignore the prepositional phrase when you are thinking about subject-verb agreement. In this case, you would be concerned only with "The quality ..." It's clear that it matches up with "isn't," not "aren't."

Watch out for those pesky prepositional phrases!

Criminal Sentence 276: An Interesting Flasher

Only I read signs in elevators, but I got rewarded yesterday:

"When flashing, help is on the way."

Someone named help will be flashing? Cool!

This gem was next to the emergency light, which I imagine is the thing that will be flashing. The sign writer should have written this:

"When the light is flashing, help is on the way."

Criminal Sentence 275: Shaped

From a book I read:

"He squeezed the rock and felt that it was oval-shaped..."

This has two problems: it's wordy and it has an incorrect hyphen.

First, you don't need to say something is circle shaped or square shaped or oval shaped. Those words describe shapes.

Second, When a compound adjective follows a noun, you don't need the hyphen. Only when two or more words link together to describe a noun before the noun do you use a hyphen:

The ten-foot-high fence was in the way. (hyphens join the words that describe "fence")
The fence was ten feet high. (no hyphens because the words come after "fence")

This sentence would have been better like this:

"He squeezed the rock and felt that it was oval..."

Poll Results 52

This was the question:

Is the punctuation of this correct? "Careful, the drink you are about to enjoy is very hot."
Yes 58 (59%)
No 39 (40%)

Commas are tricky. In this case, 59% of you were correct. You use a comma after an interjection such as "careful." You could also use an exclamation point:

"Careful!"

Guest-Written Grammar Girl Episode: Groucho and Grammar

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/funny-misplaced-modifiers.aspx