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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Criminal Sentence 356: A Bad Way to Start (A Sentence)

Seen on a Web site (the lead sentence of the article):

"When looking for Manhattan's latest in inexpensive food, the East Village and Lower East Side have always been good places to start."

Nice misplaced modifier there; not a good way to start. When I visited the Lower East Side last year I did look for some good food, but in this sentence no person is looking for the food. The East Village and Lower East Side certainly aren't. Just add a "you're" and you're set:

"When you're looking for Manhattan's latest in inexpensive food, the East Village and Lower East Side have always been good places to start."

I know I've harped on this repeatedly, but this was an egregious example and in the first sentence to boot!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Nice misplaced modifier there; not a good way to start. " This is incorrect semicolon use, which is also not a good way to start.

Westley said...

I don't see anything wrong with the semi-colon use. It separates two fragments that both have an assumed subject and verb, viz "It is".

Though possibly not acceptable in more formal writing, fragments are often used in casual writing to emphasise a point.