From an article about surgery:
"The number and size of the incisions depends on the surgery and equipment needed."
There are two subjects here ("number" and "size")--a compound subject--but a singular verb ("depends"). Compound subjects contain an "and," so if you are connecting two items with an "and," you need a plural verb. It's easy to forget about the first part of the compound subject, so that's why this is such a common error.
Here's the rewrite:
"The number and size of the incisions depend on the surgery and equipment needed."
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
A Punctuation Encounter
So yesterday I was in the store and couldn't resist buying some mints, partly because they were made by York, of Peppermint Patty fame, and partly because of the sale price: one of my favorite errors, .99c. Now of course I knew the store meant the price to be 99c, not almost 1c. I decided to do some research when I reached the cashier. I wanted to see if I could point out an error politely and if I would get a positive response from a store employee.
I prepared the cashier by telling him I was going to say something that would probably sound odd to him. I then told him I was excited to see these mints for under 1 cent. He looked at me blankly and I could tell he thought I was crazy. I pushed on. I explained that the price tag indicated point 99 cents, less than 1 cent. He again stared at me blankly and asked if I wanted the mints for one cent. I told him that I didn't but that my goal was to inform him and the store about the mistake. He rang the mints up as if I hadn't said anything and then said in the normal dull fashion, "Have a nice day."
So I apparently failed to get him excited about this mistake. However, I did my best to be polite and not become incensed. In the past I have pointed out a few errors in stores but have never gotten the response I was hoping for. I guess it's futile. I'll just go crawl back to my stack of style guides.
See this post about prices.
I prepared the cashier by telling him I was going to say something that would probably sound odd to him. I then told him I was excited to see these mints for under 1 cent. He looked at me blankly and I could tell he thought I was crazy. I pushed on. I explained that the price tag indicated point 99 cents, less than 1 cent. He again stared at me blankly and asked if I wanted the mints for one cent. I told him that I didn't but that my goal was to inform him and the store about the mistake. He rang the mints up as if I hadn't said anything and then said in the normal dull fashion, "Have a nice day."
So I apparently failed to get him excited about this mistake. However, I did my best to be polite and not become incensed. In the past I have pointed out a few errors in stores but have never gotten the response I was hoping for. I guess it's futile. I'll just go crawl back to my stack of style guides.
See this post about prices.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Criminal Sentence 84: Site vs. Sight
From a blog writer who was lamenting she had gotten too caught up in publicity:
"I had gotten so caught up in the ego of the blog that I lost site of my true role."
This is a common type of mistake that I've covered before. In this sentence, the writer meant "sight" instead of "site." I guess the writer was thinking about Web sites when she was writing her post.
It's hard to catch yourself making a mistake like this, so beware of similar-sounding words.
"I had gotten so caught up in the ego of the blog that I lost site of my true role."
This is a common type of mistake that I've covered before. In this sentence, the writer meant "sight" instead of "site." I guess the writer was thinking about Web sites when she was writing her post.
It's hard to catch yourself making a mistake like this, so beware of similar-sounding words.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Criminal Sentence 83: Overused Quotation Marks
From an article about solar water heaters:
Incentive amounts vary, with a "typical" incentive being about $2,000.
For some reason, this writer wanted to highlight the word "typical," so he put it in quotation marks. However, when you want to highlight something, you're supposed to use italics or perhaps underlining. This sentence would be better with no quotation marks. In this case, I don't see the need for italics or underlining. This just seems like a normal sentence.
You use quotation marks to quote what someone says, or to indicate you're taking liberties with your description. For example, if you say, He was "a woman," then he really isn't a woman, but perhaps he is dressed up that way or affecting a high voice.
Many times I see the word free in quotation marks, as in Your next meal is "free." This actually means not free.
So, if you want to highlight something, don't use quotation marks. Use italics or underlining, or perhaps reword the sentence.
Incentive amounts vary, with a "typical" incentive being about $2,000.
For some reason, this writer wanted to highlight the word "typical," so he put it in quotation marks. However, when you want to highlight something, you're supposed to use italics or perhaps underlining. This sentence would be better with no quotation marks. In this case, I don't see the need for italics or underlining. This just seems like a normal sentence.
You use quotation marks to quote what someone says, or to indicate you're taking liberties with your description. For example, if you say, He was "a woman," then he really isn't a woman, but perhaps he is dressed up that way or affecting a high voice.
Many times I see the word free in quotation marks, as in Your next meal is "free." This actually means not free.
So, if you want to highlight something, don't use quotation marks. Use italics or underlining, or perhaps reword the sentence.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Poll Results 1
So thanks to all 46 readers who voted on the poll. It seems that long sentences won.
I dedicated a whole chapter to this topic. In short (or should I say, in long), several words come up in overly long sentences. If you see one or more of these words in your sentence, and if your sentence is more than around 40 words, then you might have an overly long sentence:
and
but
after
although
because
before
if
since
so
though
when
which
who
In addition, if you have lots of commas or a set or two of em dashes, then your sentence might be too long.
Do your best to break up long sentences because readers find them hard to follow.
I dedicated a whole chapter to this topic. In short (or should I say, in long), several words come up in overly long sentences. If you see one or more of these words in your sentence, and if your sentence is more than around 40 words, then you might have an overly long sentence:
and
but
after
although
because
before
if
since
so
though
when
which
who
In addition, if you have lots of commas or a set or two of em dashes, then your sentence might be too long.
Do your best to break up long sentences because readers find them hard to follow.
Friday, August 22, 2008
"Typo Vigilantes"
An interesting article from my local paper:
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/08/22/20080822grammarcops0822.html
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/08/22/20080822grammarcops0822.html
Criminal Sentence 82: Hyphens or Em Dashes
A reader, Eric, has a question about em dashes:
---
This sentence is from this article published today on Politico.com.
When Politico reporters working on a story about Obama's law review presidency earlier this year asked if he had written for the review, a spokesman responded accurately - but narrowly - that "as the president of the Law Review, Obama didn't write articles, he edited and reviewed them."
What I'm wondering about is the use of the hyphens (rather than dashes) to offset the phrase "but narrowly."
----
Eric is right that you shouldn't substitute hyphens for em dashes, but it is a fairly common sight. These particular hyphens have spaces around them, so they are not confusing. Sometimes, though, I see hyphens instead of em dashes but with no spaces, and it can get confusing. Here's an example of a confusing sentence:
I saw a lion-eating a banana!-at the zoo.
Since a hyphen links words together, this first hyphen seems to link "lion" and "eating."
If you must use hyphens instead of em dashes (not recommended but sometimes unavoidable since the keyboard doesn't have an em dash key), please double them up (as in --) or put spaces around them. In Word you can set the program to create an em dash when you type two hyphens.
If you'd like to review what I said about em dashes, see CS 56.
Thanks for your question, Eric.
---
This sentence is from this article published today on Politico.com.
When Politico reporters working on a story about Obama's law review presidency earlier this year asked if he had written for the review, a spokesman responded accurately - but narrowly - that "as the president of the Law Review, Obama didn't write articles, he edited and reviewed them."
What I'm wondering about is the use of the hyphens (rather than dashes) to offset the phrase "but narrowly."
----
Eric is right that you shouldn't substitute hyphens for em dashes, but it is a fairly common sight. These particular hyphens have spaces around them, so they are not confusing. Sometimes, though, I see hyphens instead of em dashes but with no spaces, and it can get confusing. Here's an example of a confusing sentence:
I saw a lion-eating a banana!-at the zoo.
Since a hyphen links words together, this first hyphen seems to link "lion" and "eating."
If you must use hyphens instead of em dashes (not recommended but sometimes unavoidable since the keyboard doesn't have an em dash key), please double them up (as in --) or put spaces around them. In Word you can set the program to create an em dash when you type two hyphens.
If you'd like to review what I said about em dashes, see CS 56.
Thanks for your question, Eric.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Criminal Sentence 81: Where to Put Descriptions
From a review of a restaurant:
"The egg rolls arrived first, cool spring rolls in opaque wontons, stuffed with shrimp and fresh crunchy vegetables."
And later in the same article:
"A huge bowl of beef noodle soup is easily shared, packed with delicate rice noodles and slices of beef."
Both of these sentences contain descriptions that I feel are in the wrong place. The descriptive parts should be right next to the noun they're describing, so here are the sentences as I think they should be:
"The egg rolls, cool spring rolls in opaque wontons, stuffed with shrimp and fresh crunchy vegetables, arrived first."
"A huge bowl of beef noodle soup, packed with delicate rice noodles and slices of beef, is easily shared."
Even better, we can remove the passive voice in the second sentence:
"You and a friend can easily share a huge bowl of beef noodle soup, which is packed with delicate rice noodles and slices of beef."
When you describe something, make sure you put the description next to what you're describing.
"The egg rolls arrived first, cool spring rolls in opaque wontons, stuffed with shrimp and fresh crunchy vegetables."
And later in the same article:
"A huge bowl of beef noodle soup is easily shared, packed with delicate rice noodles and slices of beef."
Both of these sentences contain descriptions that I feel are in the wrong place. The descriptive parts should be right next to the noun they're describing, so here are the sentences as I think they should be:
"The egg rolls, cool spring rolls in opaque wontons, stuffed with shrimp and fresh crunchy vegetables, arrived first."
"A huge bowl of beef noodle soup, packed with delicate rice noodles and slices of beef, is easily shared."
Even better, we can remove the passive voice in the second sentence:
"You and a friend can easily share a huge bowl of beef noodle soup, which is packed with delicate rice noodles and slices of beef."
When you describe something, make sure you put the description next to what you're describing.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Criminal Sentence 80: "-ly" Adverbs
A common mistake I see:
"That is a poorly-worded sentence."
In this sentence, you don't need a hyphen. Normally you would use a hyphen to link up words that join up to modify a noun, as in "well-worded sentence," but here you don't need one because the "-ly" in the adverb ("poorly") automatically links up with the next word.
So, hyphens are usually good, but in this case one is not.
"That is a poorly-worded sentence."
In this sentence, you don't need a hyphen. Normally you would use a hyphen to link up words that join up to modify a noun, as in "well-worded sentence," but here you don't need one because the "-ly" in the adverb ("poorly") automatically links up with the next word.
So, hyphens are usually good, but in this case one is not.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Criminal Sentence 79: "Heighth" Is Not a Word
Overheard on the Olympic broadcast:
"She reaches an incredible heighth."
I've heard this before. I cringed then and I cringed just now. Nevertheless, I can see why people think it's a word:
Adjective=Long; Noun=Length
Adjective=Wide; Noun=Width
Adjective=High; Noun does not equal Heighth
"Height" is the correct word.
At these Olympics, we've reached new heights, but we haven't invented a new word: "heighth."
"She reaches an incredible heighth."
I've heard this before. I cringed then and I cringed just now. Nevertheless, I can see why people think it's a word:
Adjective=Long; Noun=Length
Adjective=Wide; Noun=Width
Adjective=High; Noun does not equal Heighth
"Height" is the correct word.
At these Olympics, we've reached new heights, but we haven't invented a new word: "heighth."
Monday, August 18, 2008
Criminal Sentence 78: Parallel Sentences
From a sentence about the Olympics:
"Phelps has seven gold medals in seven tries, compiled six world records and has a chance to trump the great Mark Spitz in his last race."
Of course, it's eight gold medals now.
Anyway, this sentence is not parallel. All the parts of a parallel sentence need to match each other. For example, verb, verb, verb or adjective, adjective, adjective. In this sentence, these are the three parts: "has," "compiled" and "has." (Technically, main verb, past participle, main verb.) There are only two cases of "has," whereas three are needed. The missing "has" is in the middle. Just add a "has" and it's all fixed:
"Phelps has seven gold medals in seven tries, has compiled six world records and has a chance to trump the great Mark Spitz in his last race."
You guys are in luck, because my upcoming article in Writer's Digest magazine is on this very topic. It should be on newsstands in about six weeks.
"Phelps has seven gold medals in seven tries, compiled six world records and has a chance to trump the great Mark Spitz in his last race."
Of course, it's eight gold medals now.
Anyway, this sentence is not parallel. All the parts of a parallel sentence need to match each other. For example, verb, verb, verb or adjective, adjective, adjective. In this sentence, these are the three parts: "has," "compiled" and "has." (Technically, main verb, past participle, main verb.) There are only two cases of "has," whereas three are needed. The missing "has" is in the middle. Just add a "has" and it's all fixed:
"Phelps has seven gold medals in seven tries, has compiled six world records and has a chance to trump the great Mark Spitz in his last race."
You guys are in luck, because my upcoming article in Writer's Digest magazine is on this very topic. It should be on newsstands in about six weeks.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Criminal Sentence 77: Passive vs. Active Voice
Today there's no specific criminal sentence, but I thought I'd go over what passive voice and active voice are. Passive voice is generally not what you want; active voice is.
Passive voice: The book was dropped.
Active voice: So and so dropped the book.
In this passive sentence, we didn't state who dropped the book. Now, if the focus is on the book, then it's less important to state who did it. Most of the time, however, it's clear who did what, so it's better to state it so readers don't have to guess.
Passive voice: The table was set by my son.
Active voice: My son set the table.
Passive voice has three components:
A form of the verb to be: "was" in the sentence above
A past participle: "set" in the sentence above
The word "by"
My book goes over this in detail and gives you a chance to rewrite a few passive paragraphs.
Passive voice: The book was dropped.
Active voice: So and so dropped the book.
In this passive sentence, we didn't state who dropped the book. Now, if the focus is on the book, then it's less important to state who did it. Most of the time, however, it's clear who did what, so it's better to state it so readers don't have to guess.
Passive voice: The table was set by my son.
Active voice: My son set the table.
Passive voice has three components:
A form of the verb to be: "was" in the sentence above
A past participle: "set" in the sentence above
The word "by"
My book goes over this in detail and gives you a chance to rewrite a few passive paragraphs.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Criminal Sentence 76: Colon or Semicolon?
From something I edited yesterday:
"A mailing can take many forms; letter, postcard, brochure."
I often see a semicolon instead of a colon. A colon introduces something, whereas a semicolon separates elements to a greater degree than a comma. Here are some examples:
Colon: "A mailing can take many forms: letter, postcard, brochure." (Introducing a list)
Comma: "I have an aunt, an uncle, and a grandma." (Separating a simple list)
Semicolon: "I have an aunt, Betty; an uncle, Saul; and a grandma, Martha." (Separating a more complex list that also contains commas)
Semicolon: "I have an aunt; on the other hand, you do not." (Separating two complete sentences that are linked to some degree)
"A mailing can take many forms; letter, postcard, brochure."
I often see a semicolon instead of a colon. A colon introduces something, whereas a semicolon separates elements to a greater degree than a comma. Here are some examples:
Colon: "A mailing can take many forms: letter, postcard, brochure." (Introducing a list)
Comma: "I have an aunt, an uncle, and a grandma." (Separating a simple list)
Semicolon: "I have an aunt, Betty; an uncle, Saul; and a grandma, Martha." (Separating a more complex list that also contains commas)
Semicolon: "I have an aunt; on the other hand, you do not." (Separating two complete sentences that are linked to some degree)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Criminal Sentence 75: Using "the"
From something I just edited:
"London is currently the most expensive city in the world according to the Swiss Bank, UBS."
This sentence makes it sound as if there is only one Swiss bank, whose name is UBS. I don't believe this is the case. I'm sure there are many Swiss banks. Therefore, you need to ditch the "the" and the comma:
"London is currently the most expensive city in the world according to Swiss bank UBS."
"London is currently the most expensive city in the world according to the Swiss Bank, UBS."
This sentence makes it sound as if there is only one Swiss bank, whose name is UBS. I don't believe this is the case. I'm sure there are many Swiss banks. Therefore, you need to ditch the "the" and the comma:
"London is currently the most expensive city in the world according to Swiss bank UBS."
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Criminal Sentence 74: Ambiguous Sentence
From something I edited recently:
"Here are four superior examples of boutiques with a single designer producing clothing that is made in France."
The words that got me temporarily confused are "designer" next to "producing." For a moment I thought a hyphen should be between them, but then I realized that wasn't right. To avoid sentences that might be ambiguous, I recommend using a "that" or "who" clause instead of the "-ing" form:
"Here are four superior examples of boutiques with a single designer who produces clothing that is made in France."
No ambiguity there.
"Here are four superior examples of boutiques with a single designer producing clothing that is made in France."
The words that got me temporarily confused are "designer" next to "producing." For a moment I thought a hyphen should be between them, but then I realized that wasn't right. To avoid sentences that might be ambiguous, I recommend using a "that" or "who" clause instead of the "-ing" form:
"Here are four superior examples of boutiques with a single designer who produces clothing that is made in France."
No ambiguity there.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Criminal Sentence 73: Do Elite Athletes Have Wings?
Said by an Olympic announcer about a swimmer:
"He has an incredibly wide wingspan."
Sure, he flew down the pool, but I didn't see any wings. I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but it would probably be better to say he has a wide "armspan," although my dictionary doesn't say that is a word. Perhaps, "he has very long arms."
"He has an incredibly wide wingspan."
Sure, he flew down the pool, but I didn't see any wings. I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but it would probably be better to say he has a wide "armspan," although my dictionary doesn't say that is a word. Perhaps, "he has very long arms."
Friday, August 8, 2008
Criminal Sentence 72: Teacher's, Please Pay Attention
From a sign in my child's second-grade classroom:
"Parent's don't forget to let me know how your child is getting home."
We just had Meet the Teacher night last night, and this does not bode well. My son's teacher has been at this school for 18 years and looks like she's been teaching for longer. I'm sure these mistakes were just careless. Nevertheless, how can kids learn the right way if the teacher doesn't do it right?
Now, this sentence has two punctuation errors.
1. This is obvious, and I can't believe a teacher would make this mistake:
"parent's." No possessive here. Just a plural noun: "parents."
2. This error is less obvious. When you address someone, you put a comma after the name or title: Bonnie, please check my apostrophe's. (ha ha) So this should be "Parents, don't forget..." Without the comma, it is just a statement: "Parents don't forget" but maybe teachers forget how to use punctuation.
So, teacher's, parent's and childre'n, please pay attention!
"Parent's don't forget to let me know how your child is getting home."
We just had Meet the Teacher night last night, and this does not bode well. My son's teacher has been at this school for 18 years and looks like she's been teaching for longer. I'm sure these mistakes were just careless. Nevertheless, how can kids learn the right way if the teacher doesn't do it right?
Now, this sentence has two punctuation errors.
1. This is obvious, and I can't believe a teacher would make this mistake:
"parent's." No possessive here. Just a plural noun: "parents."
2. This error is less obvious. When you address someone, you put a comma after the name or title: Bonnie, please check my apostrophe's. (ha ha) So this should be "Parents, don't forget..." Without the comma, it is just a statement: "Parents don't forget" but maybe teachers forget how to use punctuation.
So, teacher's, parent's and childre'n, please pay attention!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Continuing from CS 69: Restrictive vs. Nonrestrictive
CS 69 has raised the complicated issue of restricted vs. nonrestricted.
Here's an example of each kind:
Restrictive: You are not allowed to wear shirts that are loud.
Here, the restrictive phrase is "that are loud." It limits, or restricts, what kind of shirt you're talking about. It is necessary information. The meaning of the sentence changes if you don't include this phrase:
You are not allowed to wear shirts.
Nonrestrictive: The screenwriter's brother, Jonathan, helped write the script.
Here, the nonrestrictive part is "Jonathan," which is surrounded by commas. The meaning of the sentence doesn't change if you leave it out; you lose just additional information:
The screenwriter's brother helped write the script.
In summary, restrictive means necessary to the meaning, and you don't use commas. Nonrestrictive means nonessential--extra--information, and you do surround the phrase in commas.
Here's an example of each kind:
Restrictive: You are not allowed to wear shirts that are loud.
Here, the restrictive phrase is "that are loud." It limits, or restricts, what kind of shirt you're talking about. It is necessary information. The meaning of the sentence changes if you don't include this phrase:
You are not allowed to wear shirts.
Nonrestrictive: The screenwriter's brother, Jonathan, helped write the script.
Here, the nonrestrictive part is "Jonathan," which is surrounded by commas. The meaning of the sentence doesn't change if you leave it out; you lose just additional information:
The screenwriter's brother helped write the script.
In summary, restrictive means necessary to the meaning, and you don't use commas. Nonrestrictive means nonessential--extra--information, and you do surround the phrase in commas.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Criminal Sentence 71: Hoard vs. Horde
From a book I finished yesterday:
"Hoards of new people were moving in."
A hoard is a stash: a hoard of money, for example.
A horde means a large group: a horde of angry grammarians
These words sound alike but have different meanings. Watch your spelling!
"Hoards of new people were moving in."
A hoard is a stash: a hoard of money, for example.
A horde means a large group: a horde of angry grammarians
These words sound alike but have different meanings. Watch your spelling!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Criminal Sentence 70: Another Lovely Misplaced Modifier
From an article about a famous person diagnosed with cancer:
"Benefiting from early detection through a doctor-ordered MRI, the cancer is not life-threatening."
I don't think the cancer is benefiting from early detection (if the cancer had feelings, it would probably be sad to be thwarted). Rather, it is the person who is benefiting:
"She has benefited from early detection through a doctor-ordered MRI, so the cancer is not life-threatening."
I have two other gripes about this sentence: "life-threatening" does not need a hyphen, and "detection" is a nominalization. Anyone want to try to reword it? It could be one or two sentences.
"Benefiting from early detection through a doctor-ordered MRI, the cancer is not life-threatening."
I don't think the cancer is benefiting from early detection (if the cancer had feelings, it would probably be sad to be thwarted). Rather, it is the person who is benefiting:
"She has benefited from early detection through a doctor-ordered MRI, so the cancer is not life-threatening."
I have two other gripes about this sentence: "life-threatening" does not need a hyphen, and "detection" is a nominalization. Anyone want to try to reword it? It could be one or two sentences.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Criminal Sentence 69: Appositives with Commas
From the same badly written article about "The Dark Knight":
"The screenplay, penned with Nolan's brother Jonathan is a heavy, heady piece about good and evil..."
At least one comma is missing--maybe two. An appositive is essential information that describes something. The "Dark Knight" sentence is giving more information about the screenplay. It was "penned with Nolan's brother Jonathan," so you need a comma after Jonathan (you enclose the appositive around commas). Now the second potential appositive is about the family relationships. If Nolan has only one brother, his name, Jonathan, is essential information. I don't know how many brothers he has, though.
So, if he has one brother, the sentence should read:
"The screenplay, penned with Nolan's brother, Jonathan, is a heavy, heady piece about good and evil..."
If he has more than one brother:
"The screenplay, penned with Nolan's brother Jonathan, is a heavy, heady piece about good and evil..."
"The screenplay, penned with Nolan's brother Jonathan is a heavy, heady piece about good and evil..."
At least one comma is missing--maybe two. An appositive is essential information that describes something. The "Dark Knight" sentence is giving more information about the screenplay. It was "penned with Nolan's brother Jonathan," so you need a comma after Jonathan (you enclose the appositive around commas). Now the second potential appositive is about the family relationships. If Nolan has only one brother, his name, Jonathan, is essential information. I don't know how many brothers he has, though.
So, if he has one brother, the sentence should read:
"The screenplay, penned with Nolan's brother, Jonathan, is a heavy, heady piece about good and evil..."
If he has more than one brother:
"The screenplay, penned with Nolan's brother Jonathan, is a heavy, heady piece about good and evil..."
Friday, August 1, 2008
Criminal Sentence 68: "That" or "Who"?
From an article about the movie "The Dark Knight":
"[The movie] explores the community that cheers for the hero that operates outside or above the law."
The second "that" is incorrect, since "hero" is a person and you refer to people as "who":
"the hero who..."
"[The movie] explores the community that cheers for the hero that operates outside or above the law."
The second "that" is incorrect, since "hero" is a person and you refer to people as "who":
"the hero who..."
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Criminal Sentence 67: How Much Is That Burger?
I was watching the ballgame yesterday and a burger ad came up. The printed price of the burger on the screen was .99c (as in less than 1 cent) but the voiceover said ninety-nine cents, which of course is the true price.
I see this mistake all the time. There are three ways to write prices less than 1 dollar:
25c = 25 cents
.25 = 25 cents
$0.25 = 25 cents.
.25c means a quarter of a cent.
So this price for a burger is a super bargain!
I wonder what would happen if I went into the burger joint and demanded the burger for .99c. I do wonder if there would be any legal argument for that price. I asked a lawyer friend of mine. I'll see what she says. Although I don't like burgers I could go to this national chain and ask just for kicks!
I see this mistake all the time. There are three ways to write prices less than 1 dollar:
25c = 25 cents
.25 = 25 cents
$0.25 = 25 cents.
.25c means a quarter of a cent.
So this price for a burger is a super bargain!
I wonder what would happen if I went into the burger joint and demanded the burger for .99c. I do wonder if there would be any legal argument for that price. I asked a lawyer friend of mine. I'll see what she says. Although I don't like burgers I could go to this national chain and ask just for kicks!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Criminal Sentence 66: Hyphens Help Avoid Ambiguity
From an online article:
"I looked at the biggest selling albums of all time in America."
When I first read this, I mistook "biggest" as a description of size, not as it was intended: as an intensifier meaning most. In cases where your sentence could be misread, I recommend using a hyphen to avoid ambiguity:
"I looked at the biggest-selling albums of all time in America."
Another example that could be misleading if you don't use a hyphen:
The man eating lion returned home.
Does this mean that a man who was eating lion went home? Probably not. If you write "man-eating" then you remove all doubt.
"I looked at the biggest selling albums of all time in America."
When I first read this, I mistook "biggest" as a description of size, not as it was intended: as an intensifier meaning most. In cases where your sentence could be misread, I recommend using a hyphen to avoid ambiguity:
"I looked at the biggest-selling albums of all time in America."
Another example that could be misleading if you don't use a hyphen:
The man eating lion returned home.
Does this mean that a man who was eating lion went home? Probably not. If you write "man-eating" then you remove all doubt.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Criminal Sentence 65: A Phrasal Verb Workout
From a sign I saw at the gym. The sign was advertising a promotion and this sentence explained one of the benefits:
"Get a free bottle of water every time you workout."
The word "workout" is a noun. The verb "to work out" has a space. This is a classic phrasal verb mistake.
I wrote an episode on this very topic for Grammar Girl:
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/phrasal-verbs.aspx
It's something you should checkout (I mean check out).
"Get a free bottle of water every time you workout."
The word "workout" is a noun. The verb "to work out" has a space. This is a classic phrasal verb mistake.
I wrote an episode on this very topic for Grammar Girl:
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/phrasal-verbs.aspx
It's something you should checkout (I mean check out).
Monday, July 28, 2008
Criminal Sentence 64: If "Only"
When we speak, we say things like "I only have one car" and "It'll only hurt for a minute." We use this "only" to emphasize. Only one car. Pain for only one minute. However, the "only"s in these sentences are in the wrong places. Although it doesn't seem natural, we should say, "I have only one car" and "It'll hurt for only a minute." I'm acutely aware of these "only"s but I still find myself saying these kinds of sentences. So I understand that when we speak we will misuse "only." When we write, though, we should be more careful.
Paraphrased from today's paper:
"This offer is only good today."
So where should the "only" go?
Paraphrased from today's paper:
"This offer is only good today."
So where should the "only" go?
Friday, July 25, 2008
Criminal Sentence 63: Give "the Ability" a Rest
From something I edited:
"The software gives parents the ability to support teacher efforts."
Another similar sentence (I made it up):
"I have the ability to burst into flight if I wear this magic cape."
These sentences are perfectly correct, but I hate them nevertheless. Mostly because they are wordy. Here are more concise versions:
"The software allows parents to support teacher efforts."
"I can burst into flight if I wear this magic cape."
I recommend avoiding "the ability." It is a nominalization and leads to wordy sentences.
"The software gives parents the ability to support teacher efforts."
Another similar sentence (I made it up):
"I have the ability to burst into flight if I wear this magic cape."
These sentences are perfectly correct, but I hate them nevertheless. Mostly because they are wordy. Here are more concise versions:
"The software allows parents to support teacher efforts."
"I can burst into flight if I wear this magic cape."
I recommend avoiding "the ability." It is a nominalization and leads to wordy sentences.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Criminal Sentence 62: Another Naughty Nominalization
From a magazine I just proofread:
"The archaeologist made a thorough documentation of the ruins and artifacts."
This sentence is grammatically correct but not well written. I object to the phrase "made a thorough documentation of." Why not just say "thoroughly documented"? That saves three words and is much more to the point. "Documentation" is a nominalization, which I rail against in my book and in one of my WD columns.
Please learn what nominalizations are and then please try to avoid them!
"The archaeologist made a thorough documentation of the ruins and artifacts."
This sentence is grammatically correct but not well written. I object to the phrase "made a thorough documentation of." Why not just say "thoroughly documented"? That saves three words and is much more to the point. "Documentation" is a nominalization, which I rail against in my book and in one of my WD columns.
Please learn what nominalizations are and then please try to avoid them!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Criminal Sentence 61: Doubly Not Proofread
From an article about a local summer storm:
"SRP shut off power the lines so people to escape their vehicles safely."
I don't usually find two dumb errors in one sentence. Bottom line: failure to proofread.
It sounds as if an English learner, not a professional journalist, wrote this sentence. It's criminal!
"SRP shut off power the lines so people to escape their vehicles safely."
I don't usually find two dumb errors in one sentence. Bottom line: failure to proofread.
It sounds as if an English learner, not a professional journalist, wrote this sentence. It's criminal!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Criminal Sentence 60: Another Faulty Comparison
From an article about homeowners' associations:
"But, unlike other states where associations may evict homeowners for a few dollars, Arizona associations cannot foreclose until the unpaid assessments have accumulated for more than one year or until the amount owed reaches $1,200, whichever occurs first."
The problem lies in the beginning of this sentence, where "other states" is compared to "Arizona associations."
Anyone want to try to make a correct comparison? (You don't have to continue the sentence past "foreclose" if you don't want to.)
"But, unlike other states where associations may evict homeowners for a few dollars, Arizona associations cannot foreclose until the unpaid assessments have accumulated for more than one year or until the amount owed reaches $1,200, whichever occurs first."
The problem lies in the beginning of this sentence, where "other states" is compared to "Arizona associations."
Anyone want to try to make a correct comparison? (You don't have to continue the sentence past "foreclose" if you don't want to.)
Monday, July 21, 2008
Criminal Sentence 59: But Sometimes Spell Check Is Useful
From the glowing comments from the back of a book I'm reading:
"In this memoir Terri Jentz grapples with the deep subconcious of America..."
This book is turning out to be very good, but the spelling on the back cover is not. In an earlier post, I asked you not to rely on Spell Check to catch mistakes, but that doesn't mean to not use it at all. There really is no excuse these days to have misspelled words.
So use Spell Check as a first line of defense against mistakes but not as your only defense.
"In this memoir Terri Jentz grapples with the deep subconcious of America..."
This book is turning out to be very good, but the spelling on the back cover is not. In an earlier post, I asked you not to rely on Spell Check to catch mistakes, but that doesn't mean to not use it at all. There really is no excuse these days to have misspelled words.
So use Spell Check as a first line of defense against mistakes but not as your only defense.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Criminal Sentence 58: Who's or Whose?
From a book I'm reading:
"Who's line is that?"
If you spell out the contraction, this question becomes "Who is line is that?" and that doesn't make any sense.
These pairs are easy to confuse if you're not careful:
you're, your
it's. its
who's, whose
they're, their, there
Spell out your contractions to check if your right. (Did you catch that?)
"Who's line is that?"
If you spell out the contraction, this question becomes "Who is line is that?" and that doesn't make any sense.
These pairs are easy to confuse if you're not careful:
you're, your
it's. its
who's, whose
they're, their, there
Spell out your contractions to check if your right. (Did you catch that?)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Criminal Sentence 57: Why You Can't Rely on Spell Check
From a book I was reading:
"Trying to asses the impact of the revolt is difficult."
This sentence would pass spell check but wouldn't pass muster anywhere else.
Don't be a bunch of "assess" and rely on spell check!
"Trying to asses the impact of the revolt is difficult."
This sentence would pass spell check but wouldn't pass muster anywhere else.
Don't be a bunch of "assess" and rely on spell check!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Criminal Sentence 56: Em Dash or Colon?
From something I recently read for a client:
"We have several core competencies—they are"
I often see em dashes used incorrectly, especially instead of a period. The main use of an em dash is to initiate a break in thought:
"He asked me out—I couldn't believe it—and I gladly accepted."
So, above it would be better to use different punctuation:
"We have several core competencies:"
"We have several core competencies—they are"
I often see em dashes used incorrectly, especially instead of a period. The main use of an em dash is to initiate a break in thought:
"He asked me out—I couldn't believe it—and I gladly accepted."
So, above it would be better to use different punctuation:
"We have several core competencies:"
Monday, July 14, 2008
Criminal Sentence 55: Vague To The Max
From an article about couples counseling:
"Tears are a frequent occurrence."
This is one of the vaguest sentences I've seen in a while. It doesn't state who is crying. Why not just say, "She cried a lot"? Unless you're writing a murder mystery and want to conceal someone's identity, please state who is doing what. Your readers will thank you.
"Tears are a frequent occurrence."
This is one of the vaguest sentences I've seen in a while. It doesn't state who is crying. Why not just say, "She cried a lot"? Unless you're writing a murder mystery and want to conceal someone's identity, please state who is doing what. Your readers will thank you.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Criminal Sentence 54: Who's Unconscious?
Overheard on a forensics show:
"Once unconscious, he hit her head on the floor."
This was a very sad story of a man who murdered his wife. If this sentence were not part of such a terrible crime, I might laugh. This misplaced modifier suggests that the man was unconscious while he hit her. That would be hard to do. The narrator unfortunately meant that the woman was unconscious. He meant to say, "Once she was unconscious, he hit her head."
"Once unconscious, he hit her head on the floor."
This was a very sad story of a man who murdered his wife. If this sentence were not part of such a terrible crime, I might laugh. This misplaced modifier suggests that the man was unconscious while he hit her. That would be hard to do. The narrator unfortunately meant that the woman was unconscious. He meant to say, "Once she was unconscious, he hit her head."
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Criminal Sentence 53: Lose or Loose?
From the directions to a game my daughter got for her birthday:
"If the pyramid falls, you loose."
Way to teach those young ones good spelling.
"Lose" means not win. "Loose" means not tight.
"If the pyramid falls, you loose."
Way to teach those young ones good spelling.
"Lose" means not win. "Loose" means not tight.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Criminal Sentence 52: Oh No!!!!
From a sign in a clothing shop:
"NO!!
Returns on Underwear"
NO!!!!!! There are two problems with this sign. 1) The exclamation points should be at the end. 2) Only one exclamation point is necessary. Two is overdoing it.
By having the exclamation point(s) in the middle, this sign seems to say the opposite of what it means. (It really means that there are no returns on undergarments. An emphatic no, mind you.)
It gave me a laugh. How about you?
"NO!!
Returns on Underwear"
NO!!!!!! There are two problems with this sign. 1) The exclamation points should be at the end. 2) Only one exclamation point is necessary. Two is overdoing it.
By having the exclamation point(s) in the middle, this sign seems to say the opposite of what it means. (It really means that there are no returns on undergarments. An emphatic no, mind you.)
It gave me a laugh. How about you?
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Criminal Sentence 51: Dumb Typo
From a Washington Post article in my local paper:
"Ten it changed."
That doesn't make much sense. First you write the sentence; ten (I mean then) you check it!
"Ten it changed."
That doesn't make much sense. First you write the sentence; ten (I mean then) you check it!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Criminal Sentence 50: Palette or Palate? (Or Pallet?)
From a Web site about Wimbledon:
"It was like a palette-cleansing sorbet."
This sentence suggests that a paint tray had something to do with this scenario. The writer meant "palate."
I've often seen the words palette (paint tray), palate (used for tasting) and pallet (wooden crates or a makeshift bed) confused.
Try to remember the right spelling you need!
"It was like a palette-cleansing sorbet."
This sentence suggests that a paint tray had something to do with this scenario. The writer meant "palate."
I've often seen the words palette (paint tray), palate (used for tasting) and pallet (wooden crates or a makeshift bed) confused.
Try to remember the right spelling you need!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Criminal Sentence 49: Annoying Little Hyphens
From the instructions on a coffee maker I saw while waiting for coffee this morning:
"There are controls on the left and right-hand sides of the machine" (or something to that effect).
In this sentence, the word "left" is sort of hanging there unattached. It goes with "hand" as does "right," which has a hyphen already. When you have more than one word that is part of a compound word, all need a hyphen. So it should be "left- and right-hand sides."
Another example:
"An eight-, six- and five-year-old attended the party."
"There are controls on the left and right-hand sides of the machine" (or something to that effect).
In this sentence, the word "left" is sort of hanging there unattached. It goes with "hand" as does "right," which has a hyphen already. When you have more than one word that is part of a compound word, all need a hyphen. So it should be "left- and right-hand sides."
Another example:
"An eight-, six- and five-year-old attended the party."
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Criminal Sentence 48: Tricky Parentheses
When you have a period and some parentheses, how do you know whether the period goes inside or outside of the parenthesis?
Incorrect: I am making you dinner tonight (that's unusual.)
Correct: I am making you dinner tonight (that's unusual).
Correct: I am making you dinner tonight. (That's unusual.)
If the entire sentence is within parentheses, as in the last example, then you put the period inside. In any other circumstance, you put it outside. (Now you know.)
Incorrect: I am making you dinner tonight (that's unusual.)
Correct: I am making you dinner tonight (that's unusual).
Correct: I am making you dinner tonight. (That's unusual.)
If the entire sentence is within parentheses, as in the last example, then you put the period inside. In any other circumstance, you put it outside. (Now you know.)
Monday, June 30, 2008
Criminal Sentence 47: Faulty Comparison
From a newspaper column where the columnist answers readers' bizarre questions. In this column, the columnist didn't remember how to make bird feeders out of old pill bottles:
"I have made tuned wind chimes in the past, but like making bird feeders out of old pill bottles, the directions are long lost."
This sentence incorrectly compares "making bird feeders" to "the directions." Writer and reader can understand this sentence, but it's better to compare like things.
You can rewrite this in a number of ways. Here are two examples:
"I have made tuned wind chimes in the past, but like the directions for making bird feeders out of old pill bottles, those for making tuned wind chimes are lost."
"I have made tuned wind chimes in the past, but the directions for making them are lost, as are the instructions for making bird feeders out of old pill bottles."
"I have made tuned wind chimes in the past, but like making bird feeders out of old pill bottles, the directions are long lost."
This sentence incorrectly compares "making bird feeders" to "the directions." Writer and reader can understand this sentence, but it's better to compare like things.
You can rewrite this in a number of ways. Here are two examples:
"I have made tuned wind chimes in the past, but like the directions for making bird feeders out of old pill bottles, those for making tuned wind chimes are lost."
"I have made tuned wind chimes in the past, but the directions for making them are lost, as are the instructions for making bird feeders out of old pill bottles."
Friday, June 27, 2008
Criminal Sentence 46: How Much?
On a sign at a fast food restaurant:
".99c roast beef sandwiches"
Wow! Under 1 cent for a roast beef sandwich? What a bargain!
The store meant 99c or $0.99. .99c is .01 less than 1 cent.
".99c roast beef sandwiches"
Wow! Under 1 cent for a roast beef sandwich? What a bargain!
The store meant 99c or $0.99. .99c is .01 less than 1 cent.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Criminal Sentence 45: Years (of) Experience
A common error I see:
"I have eight years experience."
This should be "years' experience" or "years of experience."
Just think about it if you used one year:
"I have one year experience." This sounds wrong (and it is!): "one year of experience" or "one year's experience."
I have too many years' experience making this correction.
"I have eight years experience."
This should be "years' experience" or "years of experience."
Just think about it if you used one year:
"I have one year experience." This sounds wrong (and it is!): "one year of experience" or "one year's experience."
I have too many years' experience making this correction.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Criminal Sentence 44: Your or You're?
My battery died earlier today, conveniently allowing me to go to an auto parts store and see this:
"Bring in you're old battery and we'll give you $3." (Or something to that effect.)
That should be "your." You can test if the contraction ("you're") is right by pretending you don't have a contraction and spelling it out:
"Bring in you are old battery and we'll give you $3."
As you can see, this does not make sense. It would make a cool insult, though: you old battery.
"Bring in you're old battery and we'll give you $3." (Or something to that effect.)
That should be "your." You can test if the contraction ("you're") is right by pretending you don't have a contraction and spelling it out:
"Bring in you are old battery and we'll give you $3."
As you can see, this does not make sense. It would make a cool insult, though: you old battery.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Criminal Sentence 43: Question Marks and Quotation Marks
From an illuminating article about funeral arrangements:
Are caskets "one size fits all?"
The question mark should be outside the quotation mark in this case.
Question marks mixed with quotation marks can be tricky. If what you're quoting contains a question mark, then the question mark goes inside the quotation marks; if the entire sentence is a question, then the question mark goes outside.
Here are some correct examples:
Are caskets "one size fits all"?
"Do I look fat in this?" asked Mary.
Can you believe he called me "fat"?
Are caskets "one size fits all?"
The question mark should be outside the quotation mark in this case.
Question marks mixed with quotation marks can be tricky. If what you're quoting contains a question mark, then the question mark goes inside the quotation marks; if the entire sentence is a question, then the question mark goes outside.
Here are some correct examples:
Are caskets "one size fits all"?
"Do I look fat in this?" asked Mary.
Can you believe he called me "fat"?
Monday, June 23, 2008
Criminal Sentence 42: Hire More Grammarians, Not Table Cleaners
From a sign at the IKEA restaurant. The rest of the sign indicated that customers should bus their own trays.
"By taking your tray to the tray station, we can continue to keep prices low."
This sentence contains an amusing misplaced modifier. It says the exact opposite of what's intended. IKEA wants "you" to take your tray away, not "we," as stated here.
How about this, IKEA:
"If you take your tray to the tray station, we can continue to keep prices low."
Thanks for the Swedish meatballs, and the memories.
"By taking your tray to the tray station, we can continue to keep prices low."
This sentence contains an amusing misplaced modifier. It says the exact opposite of what's intended. IKEA wants "you" to take your tray away, not "we," as stated here.
How about this, IKEA:
"If you take your tray to the tray station, we can continue to keep prices low."
Thanks for the Swedish meatballs, and the memories.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Criminal Sentence 41: How Old Is This Mom?
I had to laugh at this sentence.
From a parenting magazine, where a mom is answering the question "What trait of yours do you hope your child doesn't inherit?":
"My stubborn nature. The bad thing is that at age one and a half, I think he already has some of it!"
According to this sentence, the mom, not the son, is one and a half. Let's rephrase:
"The bad thing is that at age one and a half, he already has some of it, I think!"
From a parenting magazine, where a mom is answering the question "What trait of yours do you hope your child doesn't inherit?":
"My stubborn nature. The bad thing is that at age one and a half, I think he already has some of it!"
According to this sentence, the mom, not the son, is one and a half. Let's rephrase:
"The bad thing is that at age one and a half, he already has some of it, I think!"
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Criminal Sentence 40: Read What You Write
From a fascinating article on who was chosen for the list of hottest bachelor:
"Bruce Willis, who has been linked to model Emma Hemming, landed him a spot too."
This should say either" landed a spot" or "landed himself a spot." It seems that this sentence was edited but not proofread. Editing is good, but proofreading is even better.
"Bruce Willis, who has been linked to model Emma Hemming, landed him a spot too."
This should say either" landed a spot" or "landed himself a spot." It seems that this sentence was edited but not proofread. Editing is good, but proofreading is even better.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Criminal Sentence 39: I Wouldn't
Overheard on a TV show:
"I wouldn't have had to if you would have told me the truth."
When you have an "if" clause, you don't use "would. In the above sentence, you use "had":
"I wouldn't have had to if you had told me the truth."
"I wouldn't have had to if you would have told me the truth."
When you have an "if" clause, you don't use "would. In the above sentence, you use "had":
"I wouldn't have had to if you had told me the truth."
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Criminal Sentence 38: I'm "Sore" about This
From a weather report yesterday:
"Temperatures will sore to 112 once again."
Ouch! I think the writer meant "soar."
Today it's supposed to be 113! Another ouch!
"Temperatures will sore to 112 once again."
Ouch! I think the writer meant "soar."
Today it's supposed to be 113! Another ouch!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Criminal Sentence 37: "There Are" Better Ways to Say It
Writers love the phrase "there are" (or "there is"). For example:
"There are three girls standing over there."
This is just wordy. I feel it's almost always best to cut out unnecessary cases of "there":
"Three girls are standing over there."
Many times, you can get rid of a boring "to be" verb (such as "are" and "is"):
You can turn "There are six students who attend the school"
into
"Six students attend the school"
and you save three words.
"There are three girls standing over there."
This is just wordy. I feel it's almost always best to cut out unnecessary cases of "there":
"Three girls are standing over there."
Many times, you can get rid of a boring "to be" verb (such as "are" and "is"):
You can turn "There are six students who attend the school"
into
"Six students attend the school"
and you save three words.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Criminal Sentence 36: Wherefore Art Thou, Comma?
From an article on last night's baseball game:
"With one out, Luis Castillo hit a hot shot to third where Reynolds couldn't handle it."
Commas can be tricky but I recommend you add one after "third." You're giving additional information. Another example (with correct comma):
Sam and Pam went to the prom, where they had their first kiss.
"With one out, Luis Castillo hit a hot shot to third where Reynolds couldn't handle it."
Commas can be tricky but I recommend you add one after "third." You're giving additional information. Another example (with correct comma):
Sam and Pam went to the prom, where they had their first kiss.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Criminal Sentence 35: Incompletes
From an article on a restaurant I like:
"The garden of eatin' pizza ($13.75 for a 12-inch pizza; $12 for an 18-inch pizza), a sauceless pizza with marinated roma tomatoes, basil and garlic in olive oil, topped with mozzarella cheese and splashed with balsamic vinegar."
Sounds delicious, but the sentence is missing a main verb: is ("is topped with..."). This kind of sentence is known as an incomplete sentence or a fragment.
Did you catch the other fragment I used above on purpose? This one is missing a subject:
"Sounds delicious."
"The garden of eatin' pizza ($13.75 for a 12-inch pizza; $12 for an 18-inch pizza), a sauceless pizza with marinated roma tomatoes, basil and garlic in olive oil, topped with mozzarella cheese and splashed with balsamic vinegar."
Sounds delicious, but the sentence is missing a main verb: is ("is topped with..."). This kind of sentence is known as an incomplete sentence or a fragment.
Did you catch the other fragment I used above on purpose? This one is missing a subject:
"Sounds delicious."
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Criminal Sentence 34: To Ire or To Irk?
From a Web headline:
"Slow batter ires Big Unit"
(FYI, "Big Unit" is a nickname for pitcher Randy Johnson, who is 6'10".)
The verb here should be "irks," which means "annoys." "Ire" is a noun that means "anger."
A new headline:
Lack of Dictionary Use Irks Copyeditor
"Slow batter ires Big Unit"
(FYI, "Big Unit" is a nickname for pitcher Randy Johnson, who is 6'10".)
The verb here should be "irks," which means "annoys." "Ire" is a noun that means "anger."
A new headline:
Lack of Dictionary Use Irks Copyeditor
Monday, June 9, 2008
Criminal Sentence 33: Apples to Apples
A quotation from Roger Federer, who lost the French Open tennis final to Rafael Nadal in an embarrassing fashion:
"He was more dominant than the previous years."
Granted, Federer is Swiss, so English is not his native language, but I see native speakers make this same mistake. In this sentence, "he" is compared to "previous years." We know what he means, but when you're making a comparison, it would be better to compare apples to apples:
"He was more dominant than he was in previous years."
Here, I compared "he" to "he."
"He was more dominant than the previous years."
Granted, Federer is Swiss, so English is not his native language, but I see native speakers make this same mistake. In this sentence, "he" is compared to "previous years." We know what he means, but when you're making a comparison, it would be better to compare apples to apples:
"He was more dominant than he was in previous years."
Here, I compared "he" to "he."
Friday, June 6, 2008
Criminal Sentence 32: Don't Repeat
A common error I see:
"It was dark and also foggy."
I made this one up, but I see a lot of similar sentences, sentences that use both "and" and "also" together. In this case, please delete "also" because it is repetitive. Also watch out for "in addition." I often see this phrase in the same sentence as an "and." Some writers use both for emphasis, but most of the time it is redundant.
"It was dark and also foggy."
I made this one up, but I see a lot of similar sentences, sentences that use both "and" and "also" together. In this case, please delete "also" because it is repetitive. Also watch out for "in addition." I often see this phrase in the same sentence as an "and." Some writers use both for emphasis, but most of the time it is redundant.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Criminal Sentence 31: Commas or Semicolons
From an article about Obama:
"Attendees included Sex and the City actress Sarah Jessica Parker, President Kennedy's speechwriter, Ted Sorensen, and Caroline Kennedy."
When I first read this sentence, I thought the writer was implying that SJP was Kennedy's speechwriter. Actually, the sentence could mean three things:
1. There were four attendees: SJP, an unnamed speechwriter, Ted and Caroline.
2. There were three attendees: SJP (who is Kennedy's speechwriter), Ted and Caroline.
3. There were three attendees: SJP, Ted (who is Kennedy's speechwriter) and Caroline.
I think the writer meant number 3. Semicolons in the right places would remove any doubt:
Attendees included Sex and the City actress Sarah Jessica Parker; President Kennedy's speechwriter, Ted Sorensen; and Caroline Kennedy.
Now the sentence is clear.
"Attendees included Sex and the City actress Sarah Jessica Parker, President Kennedy's speechwriter, Ted Sorensen, and Caroline Kennedy."
When I first read this sentence, I thought the writer was implying that SJP was Kennedy's speechwriter. Actually, the sentence could mean three things:
1. There were four attendees: SJP, an unnamed speechwriter, Ted and Caroline.
2. There were three attendees: SJP (who is Kennedy's speechwriter), Ted and Caroline.
3. There were three attendees: SJP, Ted (who is Kennedy's speechwriter) and Caroline.
I think the writer meant number 3. Semicolons in the right places would remove any doubt:
Attendees included Sex and the City actress Sarah Jessica Parker; President Kennedy's speechwriter, Ted Sorensen; and Caroline Kennedy.
Now the sentence is clear.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Criminal Sentence 30: Insure or Ensure?
From an ad for financial services:
"Lock in your appointment now to insure these special rates"
The word "insure" is usually used to refer to insurance:
I would like to insure my car, please.
When you're saying that you want to be sure about something, you use "ensure":
Please ensure you lock the door before you leave.
Now, if you use "ensure" instead of "insure" in the criminal sentence, it still sounds odd, so let's improve it:
Lock in your appointment now to ensure you receive these special rates.
"Lock in your appointment now to insure these special rates"
The word "insure" is usually used to refer to insurance:
I would like to insure my car, please.
When you're saying that you want to be sure about something, you use "ensure":
Please ensure you lock the door before you leave.
Now, if you use "ensure" instead of "insure" in the criminal sentence, it still sounds odd, so let's improve it:
Lock in your appointment now to ensure you receive these special rates.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Criminal Sentence 29: Me or Myself?
From a Q&A column in my newspaper. The writer is asking about whether to close air conditioning vents in two unused rooms.
"With two bedrooms being unused, it leads to a debate between my wife and myself."
In addition to being poorly worded, this sentence has a grammatical error: "myself" instead of "me." Although the writer is talking about himself, "me" is correct.
You use "myself" (and other reflexive pronouns like it: himself, herself, ourselves, themselves) when you've already mentioned "I" (or he, she, we, they):
I washed myself.
You wouldn't say, "I washed me."
In this criminal sentence, there is a debate between two people: the wife and the writer. If the writer had an argument with himself, he could say, "I had a debate with myself."
"With two bedrooms being unused, it leads to a debate between my wife and myself."
In addition to being poorly worded, this sentence has a grammatical error: "myself" instead of "me." Although the writer is talking about himself, "me" is correct.
You use "myself" (and other reflexive pronouns like it: himself, herself, ourselves, themselves) when you've already mentioned "I" (or he, she, we, they):
I washed myself.
You wouldn't say, "I washed me."
In this criminal sentence, there is a debate between two people: the wife and the writer. If the writer had an argument with himself, he could say, "I had a debate with myself."
Monday, June 2, 2008
Criminal Sentence 28: Not "In Tact"
From an article about a poor pitcher hit in the mouth by a baseball:
"Blackburn didn’t lose consciousness, and his teeth stayed in tact."
That should be "intact," an adjective meaning not broken. "Intact" is one word. "Tact," a noun, means the ability to speak or act without offending someone. "In tact" is not a valid combination of words.
"Blackburn didn’t lose consciousness, and his teeth stayed in tact."
That should be "intact," an adjective meaning not broken. "Intact" is one word. "Tact," a noun, means the ability to speak or act without offending someone. "In tact" is not a valid combination of words.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Criminal Sentence 27: Misplaced While Traveling
From a newspaper article about a young girl captured by Indians in the 1850s:
"While traveling west in 1851, American Indians attacked her family near Gila Bend."
The Indians were already in the west, so it was her family who was traveling there. The sentence should read:
"While traveling west in 1851, her family was attacked by American Indians near Gila Bend."
This corrected sentence is in the passive voice, which you might want to avoid, so here's another way to express this same idea:
"While she and her family were traveling west in 1851, American Indians attacked them near Gila Bend."
"While traveling west in 1851, American Indians attacked her family near Gila Bend."
The Indians were already in the west, so it was her family who was traveling there. The sentence should read:
"While traveling west in 1851, her family was attacked by American Indians near Gila Bend."
This corrected sentence is in the passive voice, which you might want to avoid, so here's another way to express this same idea:
"While she and her family were traveling west in 1851, American Indians attacked them near Gila Bend."
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Criminal Sentence 26: Don't Run On
From a water bottle I drank at the ballpark last night:
"We can all make a difference, please recycle."
Good sentiment; bad punctuation. This sentence is really two sentences that should be separated with a period, not a comma:
"We can all make a difference. Please recycle."
You can't put two complete thoughts together with just a comma. Wrong;
I love you, will you marry me?
He ate too much cake, he got a tummy ache.
Right:
I love you. Will you marry me?
He ate too much cake. He got a tummy ache.
He ate too much cake, so he got a tummy ache.
He ate too much cake and got a tummy ache.
"We can all make a difference, please recycle."
Good sentiment; bad punctuation. This sentence is really two sentences that should be separated with a period, not a comma:
"We can all make a difference. Please recycle."
You can't put two complete thoughts together with just a comma. Wrong;
I love you, will you marry me?
He ate too much cake, he got a tummy ache.
Right:
I love you. Will you marry me?
He ate too much cake. He got a tummy ache.
He ate too much cake, so he got a tummy ache.
He ate too much cake and got a tummy ache.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Criminal Sentence 25: Hyphens II
From an ad in the paper:
"There's never been a better time to save on our locally-made custom furniture."
When you have an -ly adverb, such as locally, you don't need to join it up to the following word with a hyphen. You need just a space. If it's another adverb, such as well, then you would use a hyphen:
I want to buy some well-made furniture.
"There's never been a better time to save on our locally-made custom furniture."
When you have an -ly adverb, such as locally, you don't need to join it up to the following word with a hyphen. You need just a space. If it's another adverb, such as well, then you would use a hyphen:
I want to buy some well-made furniture.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Criminal Sentence 24: Hi (Or Bye), Hyphen
At the deli counter:
"Place your order now and it will be ready for you in 15-minutes."
No hyphen necessary!
If you use a descriptive phrase directly before a noun, then you need a hyphen:
The 15-minute movie was too short.
Compare these examples, with correct hyphens:
The 38-year-old was a copy editor.
The copy editor was 38 years old.
It took 25 minutes to go shopping.
The 25-minute shopping trip was fun.
"Place your order now and it will be ready for you in 15-minutes."
No hyphen necessary!
If you use a descriptive phrase directly before a noun, then you need a hyphen:
The 15-minute movie was too short.
Compare these examples, with correct hyphens:
The 38-year-old was a copy editor.
The copy editor was 38 years old.
It took 25 minutes to go shopping.
The 25-minute shopping trip was fun.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Criminal Sentence 23: Crazy Comparison
From an article lamenting how American Airlines is charging for checked bags:
"Like its competitors, skyrocketing fuel costs have put the carrier's balance sheet in a vise."
This sentence compares "competitors" to "fuel costs," not what the writer intended. When you start a sentence with "Like," be sure that what follows the comma is what you're comparing. Here are a couple ways to rewrite this sentence:
Like its competitors, the carrier is facing financial difficulties due to skyrocketing fuel costs.
or
Skyrocketing fuel costs have put the carrier's balance sheet--as well as those of its competitors--in a vise.
"Like its competitors, skyrocketing fuel costs have put the carrier's balance sheet in a vise."
This sentence compares "competitors" to "fuel costs," not what the writer intended. When you start a sentence with "Like," be sure that what follows the comma is what you're comparing. Here are a couple ways to rewrite this sentence:
Like its competitors, the carrier is facing financial difficulties due to skyrocketing fuel costs.
or
Skyrocketing fuel costs have put the carrier's balance sheet--as well as those of its competitors--in a vise.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Criminal Sentence 22: Shorten When You Have the Ability (When You Can)
From a brochure about printing:
"We have the ability to print on a wide variety of coated and uncoated stocks."
The phrases "have the ability to" and "are able to" are both wordy ways of saying "can." One of your goals when you are writing should be to use the fewest number of words, so I discourage you from using these two phrases. I prefer "can":
"We can print on a wide variety of coated and uncoated stocks."
"We have the ability to print on a wide variety of coated and uncoated stocks."
The phrases "have the ability to" and "are able to" are both wordy ways of saying "can." One of your goals when you are writing should be to use the fewest number of words, so I discourage you from using these two phrases. I prefer "can":
"We can print on a wide variety of coated and uncoated stocks."
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Criminal Sentence 21: Not Her's
From an online book review I saw this morning:
"I'm a big fan of her's."
I'm not a big fan of that. "Her's" is not a word. "Hers" is a possessive adjective, and possessive adjectives do not use apostrophes. Other possessives, such as Jake's or the teacher's, do.
"I'm a big fan of her's."
I'm not a big fan of that. "Her's" is not a word. "Hers" is a possessive adjective, and possessive adjectives do not use apostrophes. Other possessives, such as Jake's or the teacher's, do.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Criminal Sentence 20: Nasty Nominalization
From a book I was reading last night:
"I knew I was wasting time, crouched in a bush being gradually covered by snow, listening to spirits, but slowly the conviction grew that there was someone breathing, not all that far from me."
I object to this part: "the conviction grew that..." First off, the "that" clause should be next to "conviction." This is a misplaced modifier, and I've already discussed this problem. The cause of this particular misplaced modifier is the word "conviction." This is called a nominalization. Lots of words that end in "-tion" are nominalizations, so watch out for them and try not to use them. They are vague nouns that allow the writer to omit who is doing what. We know from the beginning of this sentence that "I" is doing all the action/thinking here. If you continue using "I," you avoid the misplaced modifier and the nominalization:
"...slowly I became convinced that..."
I rail against nominalizations in my book and in my first column for Writer's Digest. Help me eradicate them: learn what they are and vow not to use them!
Thanks!
"I knew I was wasting time, crouched in a bush being gradually covered by snow, listening to spirits, but slowly the conviction grew that there was someone breathing, not all that far from me."
I object to this part: "the conviction grew that..." First off, the "that" clause should be next to "conviction." This is a misplaced modifier, and I've already discussed this problem. The cause of this particular misplaced modifier is the word "conviction." This is called a nominalization. Lots of words that end in "-tion" are nominalizations, so watch out for them and try not to use them. They are vague nouns that allow the writer to omit who is doing what. We know from the beginning of this sentence that "I" is doing all the action/thinking here. If you continue using "I," you avoid the misplaced modifier and the nominalization:
"...slowly I became convinced that..."
I rail against nominalizations in my book and in my first column for Writer's Digest. Help me eradicate them: learn what they are and vow not to use them!
Thanks!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Criminal Sentence 19: Including What?
From something I just edited about a zoo:
"The zoo will be divided into six 'biozones,' including the Guyana Forest, the African Equatorial Forest, the Sahelo-Sudan Savannah, Patagonia, Madagascar and Europe."
The first part of the sentence tells us there are six biozones. Then the sentence lists all six. You can't use the word "including" because you're listing them all. If you want to use "including," you have to give an incomplete list. This is a complete list, so you need to use a colon:
"The zoo will be divided into six 'biozones': the Guyana Forest, the African Equatorial Forest, the Sahelo-Sudan Savannah, Patagonia, Madagascar and Europe."
In a similar vein, I often see sentences such as this:
"The attributes of the vehicle include five-speed transmission, scratch-resistant paint and more."
Please don't use "include" along with "and more" in the same sentence. That is redundant. Just say this:
"The attributes of the vehicle include five-speed transmission and scratch-resistant paint."
Remember that when you use "include," by definition you're giving an incomplete list.
"The zoo will be divided into six 'biozones,' including the Guyana Forest, the African Equatorial Forest, the Sahelo-Sudan Savannah, Patagonia, Madagascar and Europe."
The first part of the sentence tells us there are six biozones. Then the sentence lists all six. You can't use the word "including" because you're listing them all. If you want to use "including," you have to give an incomplete list. This is a complete list, so you need to use a colon:
"The zoo will be divided into six 'biozones': the Guyana Forest, the African Equatorial Forest, the Sahelo-Sudan Savannah, Patagonia, Madagascar and Europe."
In a similar vein, I often see sentences such as this:
"The attributes of the vehicle include five-speed transmission, scratch-resistant paint and more."
Please don't use "include" along with "and more" in the same sentence. That is redundant. Just say this:
"The attributes of the vehicle include five-speed transmission and scratch-resistant paint."
Remember that when you use "include," by definition you're giving an incomplete list.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Criminal Sentence 18: Compound Confusion
From something I edited. The writer was discussing how he was able to lobby the Legislature successfully:
"Showing flexibility and being willing to compromise was an important step in getting this legislation passed."
"Showing flexibility" and "being willing to compromise" form a compound subject, which requires a plural verb. In addition, the writer is discussing two steps, not one. The sentence should read like this:
"Showing flexibility and being willing to compromise were important steps in getting this legislation passed."
If you use an "and," check that you're using a plural verb.
I still dislike the corrected sentence because it never states who is getting the legislation passed. Although we know "I" did it, it would be better to state that:
I showed flexibility and was willing to compromise, both pivotal qualities a lobbyist needed to get this legislation passed.
"Showing flexibility and being willing to compromise was an important step in getting this legislation passed."
"Showing flexibility" and "being willing to compromise" form a compound subject, which requires a plural verb. In addition, the writer is discussing two steps, not one. The sentence should read like this:
"Showing flexibility and being willing to compromise were important steps in getting this legislation passed."
If you use an "and," check that you're using a plural verb.
I still dislike the corrected sentence because it never states who is getting the legislation passed. Although we know "I" did it, it would be better to state that:
I showed flexibility and was willing to compromise, both pivotal qualities a lobbyist needed to get this legislation passed.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Criminal Sentence 17: Soundalikes
Not a sentence but criminal all the same.
On the menu at my daughter's school:
Green beens
"Bean" sounds like "been," but "beens" isn't a word!
Another one I saw on a sign outside a drugstore:
Summer Sandles
On the menu at my daughter's school:
Green beens
"Bean" sounds like "been," but "beens" isn't a word!
Another one I saw on a sign outside a drugstore:
Summer Sandles
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Criminal Sentence 16: Another Misplaced Modifier
These are so common that I could put one here every day.
From an article about bike helmets:
"The accident has left the boys' mothers with new concerns about the vast number of kids on wheels they see without helmets."
I object to "wheels they see without helmets." This implies the writer is seeing something but not wearing a helmet. "Without helmets" belongs with "kids." A lot of information is crammed in this sentence, so that's why this misplaced modifier escaped the writer's notice. You need to rewrite the sentence so all the parts fit together correctly:
The accident has left the boys' mothers concerned because they see so many kids who don't wear helmets when they're on wheels.
From an article about bike helmets:
"The accident has left the boys' mothers with new concerns about the vast number of kids on wheels they see without helmets."
I object to "wheels they see without helmets." This implies the writer is seeing something but not wearing a helmet. "Without helmets" belongs with "kids." A lot of information is crammed in this sentence, so that's why this misplaced modifier escaped the writer's notice. You need to rewrite the sentence so all the parts fit together correctly:
The accident has left the boys' mothers concerned because they see so many kids who don't wear helmets when they're on wheels.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Criminal Sentence 15: The Art of No Typos
From a movie synopsis (Redbelt) in the paper:
"Chiwetel Ejiofor is outstanding as an honorable marital-arts teacher...."
This is a funny typo: marital arts instead of martial arts. And this error is why you should be careful not to rely on Spell Check. In my head I file pairs (or trios) of words that I often see mixed up. Then when I see one of them, I do a double take to ensure the right one is there.
I wrote about this topic in one of my Writer's Digest articles. Here's my favorite line from my article: "Butt, dew knot re-lie on Spell Check too fined yore miss-takes!"
"Chiwetel Ejiofor is outstanding as an honorable marital-arts teacher...."
This is a funny typo: marital arts instead of martial arts. And this error is why you should be careful not to rely on Spell Check. In my head I file pairs (or trios) of words that I often see mixed up. Then when I see one of them, I do a double take to ensure the right one is there.
I wrote about this topic in one of my Writer's Digest articles. Here's my favorite line from my article: "Butt, dew knot re-lie on Spell Check too fined yore miss-takes!"
Friday, May 9, 2008
Criminal Sentence 14: Overusing quotation marks
From an ad for male incontinence (which I read with great interest! Actually it was a huge headline, so I noticed it):
Up at night having to "go"?
No quotation marks necessary. Sometimes writers like to highlight a word that is somewhat colloquial by using quotation marks, but you don't need to do that. If you want to highlight something, all caps, italics or underlining might be appropriate. But use sparingly!
Up at night having to "go"?
No quotation marks necessary. Sometimes writers like to highlight a word that is somewhat colloquial by using quotation marks, but you don't need to do that. If you want to highlight something, all caps, italics or underlining might be appropriate. But use sparingly!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Criminal Sentence 13: Vague Subjects
From an online map service:
"When using any driving directions or map, it's a good idea to do a reality check and make sure the road still exists, watch out for construction, and follow all traffic safety precautions."
This is a typical misplaced modifier that involves a vague subject. The sentence starts off with "When using" but fails to state the implied subject: "you." As a result, what comes after the comma ("it") inadvertently--and incorrectly--becomes the subject of the sentence. It would be better to write "When you're using..."
In my book I call these "vague -ing" words. They're very common but no other writing book I've found covers them. Please be extra careful when you start a sentence like this. Always ensure that you state who is doing what.
"When using any driving directions or map, it's a good idea to do a reality check and make sure the road still exists, watch out for construction, and follow all traffic safety precautions."
This is a typical misplaced modifier that involves a vague subject. The sentence starts off with "When using" but fails to state the implied subject: "you." As a result, what comes after the comma ("it") inadvertently--and incorrectly--becomes the subject of the sentence. It would be better to write "When you're using..."
In my book I call these "vague -ing" words. They're very common but no other writing book I've found covers them. Please be extra careful when you start a sentence like this. Always ensure that you state who is doing what.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Criminal Sentence 12: The Sport of Finding Missing Apostrophes
Today, my newspaper's Sports section displays a lack of much-needed apostrophes. I read just two articles, one on basketball and one on baseball.
Basketball headline: Suns door all but closed to D'Antoni
Baseball headline: Diamondbacks relievers getting job done
Within these articles: Suns management
Diamondbacks starter Randy Johnson
In all of these cases, I believe there should be an apostrophe at the end: Suns' door, Diamondbacks' relievers, etc. The question here is if "Suns" and "Diamondbacks" are nouns or adjectives. In the sentence "The Diamondbacks won," Diamondbacks is a noun. In the sentence "The Diamondbacks' win was expected," it is an adjective. Therefore, you need an apostrophe. One way I use to check my apostrophes is to temporarily use an "of": "management of the Suns" (Suns' management). "Pet of the teacher" (teacher's pet).
It can't be a coincidence that the writers left out so many apostrophes. Perhaps they're doing it on purpose. I'm going to ask the editor of the Sports section why. If he answers, I'll let you know his response.
A few hours later...
Well, the Sports editor was kind enough to answer. It's AP style not to use an apostrophe in a phrase like "the Diamondbacks reliever." Doesn't mean I like it, though.
Basketball headline: Suns door all but closed to D'Antoni
Baseball headline: Diamondbacks relievers getting job done
Within these articles: Suns management
Diamondbacks starter Randy Johnson
In all of these cases, I believe there should be an apostrophe at the end: Suns' door, Diamondbacks' relievers, etc. The question here is if "Suns" and "Diamondbacks" are nouns or adjectives. In the sentence "The Diamondbacks won," Diamondbacks is a noun. In the sentence "The Diamondbacks' win was expected," it is an adjective. Therefore, you need an apostrophe. One way I use to check my apostrophes is to temporarily use an "of": "management of the Suns" (Suns' management). "Pet of the teacher" (teacher's pet).
It can't be a coincidence that the writers left out so many apostrophes. Perhaps they're doing it on purpose. I'm going to ask the editor of the Sports section why. If he answers, I'll let you know his response.
A few hours later...
Well, the Sports editor was kind enough to answer. It's AP style not to use an apostrophe in a phrase like "the Diamondbacks reliever." Doesn't mean I like it, though.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Criminal Sentence 11: Watch Your Backside
From a sales letter I edited recently:
"Complete enrollment instructions are provided on the backside."
"Back side" (two words) means the reverse side. "Backside" (one word) means rear end.
Oops!
"Complete enrollment instructions are provided on the backside."
"Back side" (two words) means the reverse side. "Backside" (one word) means rear end.
Oops!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Criminal Sentence 10: Pour vs. Pore
This is an especially egregious example because it comes from the acknowledgments in a grammar book. The author is thanking his copy editor:
"She poured over each page of the manuscript with youthful laughter, unwavering encouragement, and sage advice."
After I got over the shock of reading this, I had to laugh youthfully.
"To pour over" is to dispense liquid on top of something or someone. "To pore over" is to study something carefully.
Please pore over your writing and proofread, or I'll have to come pour something over you!
"She poured over each page of the manuscript with youthful laughter, unwavering encouragement, and sage advice."
After I got over the shock of reading this, I had to laugh youthfully.
"To pour over" is to dispense liquid on top of something or someone. "To pore over" is to study something carefully.
Please pore over your writing and proofread, or I'll have to come pour something over you!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Criminal Sentence 9: Crazy Caps
From an ad in today's newspaper:
"All Prices slashed for Immediate liquidation."
Capital letters indicate you're starting a sentence or using a proper name. A proper name is a city's name, or a product's name, or a person's name, for example. "Prices" and "Immediate" are not proper names, so these words should start with a lowercase letter. I often see this random use of caps, perhaps an attempt to make words stand out.
I find It rather Annoying. And I wish Writers would Stop doing it.
"All Prices slashed for Immediate liquidation."
Capital letters indicate you're starting a sentence or using a proper name. A proper name is a city's name, or a product's name, or a person's name, for example. "Prices" and "Immediate" are not proper names, so these words should start with a lowercase letter. I often see this random use of caps, perhaps an attempt to make words stand out.
I find It rather Annoying. And I wish Writers would Stop doing it.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Criminal Sentence 8: Recipe for a Misplaced Modifier
From a recipe for the mushroom spread I made yesterday:
"Before pureeing, this combination makes a fine filling for turnovers."
According to this sentence, "this combination" is going to be doing some pureeing. Oops. This is a misplaced modifier, which I complain about in my book and in my upcoming Writer's Digest column (coming in the next issue). When you start a sentence with a phrase like "Before pureeing," whatever comes next is what goes with it. The sentence structure is messed up here, so you need to state who is doing the pureeing. You can rewrite this in a number of ways. I like this sentence:
"If you want to use this combination as a yummy filling for turnovers, don't puree it."
"Before pureeing, this combination makes a fine filling for turnovers."
According to this sentence, "this combination" is going to be doing some pureeing. Oops. This is a misplaced modifier, which I complain about in my book and in my upcoming Writer's Digest column (coming in the next issue). When you start a sentence with a phrase like "Before pureeing," whatever comes next is what goes with it. The sentence structure is messed up here, so you need to state who is doing the pureeing. You can rewrite this in a number of ways. I like this sentence:
"If you want to use this combination as a yummy filling for turnovers, don't puree it."
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Criminal Sentence 7: Everyday Is Ordinary
So a few weeks ago I'm driving by a construction site. A new grocery store is going up. Its name and hours are on a sign even before the building is finished. This is not really a sentence, but I'm sure you'll forgive me:
Everyday 8am-10pm
Nothing special at that store. It's just regular, ordinary, everyday. No need to shop there. I don't think that's the kind of customer response the store was hoping to get. A space is a little thing, but here it makes the difference between "daily" (every day) and
"run of the mill" (everyday).
Everyday 8am-10pm
Nothing special at that store. It's just regular, ordinary, everyday. No need to shop there. I don't think that's the kind of customer response the store was hoping to get. A space is a little thing, but here it makes the difference between "daily" (every day) and
"run of the mill" (everyday).
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Criminal Sentence 6: Songwriters, Please Don't Lay Down
"Lay back. It's all been done before."--Avril Lavigne
"Decisions that made my bed/Now I must lay in it."--Maroon 5
"Lay down."--My daughter's daycare teacher
It seems that from the earliest age, kids are being taught to "lay down." If you're like my husband, you'll say that this is just how the language is moving. I hate to admit that he's right and I can't do anything about it. To make myself feel better, I'm just going to complain about it a little bit.
If you want to use "lay," more than one person or thing is involved. You "lay" something or someone down: lay the baby on the bed, lay the grammar book on the table. If you are tired and want to rest, only you are involved and you use "lie": I'm going to lie down.
It gets a bit tricky in the past tense.
I lie down every morning. I lay down yesterday morning.
I always lay the baby down at 7. I laid the baby down at 7 yesterday.
And I just saw this quote: "I’m certainly not happy with it, by any means,” Zito said. “But this is the bed that I’ve made. I have to lay in it for the time being and I have to overcome."
"Decisions that made my bed/Now I must lay in it."--Maroon 5
"Lay down."--My daughter's daycare teacher
It seems that from the earliest age, kids are being taught to "lay down." If you're like my husband, you'll say that this is just how the language is moving. I hate to admit that he's right and I can't do anything about it. To make myself feel better, I'm just going to complain about it a little bit.
If you want to use "lay," more than one person or thing is involved. You "lay" something or someone down: lay the baby on the bed, lay the grammar book on the table. If you are tired and want to rest, only you are involved and you use "lie": I'm going to lie down.
It gets a bit tricky in the past tense.
I lie down every morning. I lay down yesterday morning.
I always lay the baby down at 7. I laid the baby down at 7 yesterday.
And I just saw this quote: "I’m certainly not happy with it, by any means,” Zito said. “But this is the bed that I’ve made. I have to lay in it for the time being and I have to overcome."
Monday, April 28, 2008
Criminal Sentence 5: Subjects and Verbs
Have you ever been washing your hair in the shower and noticed a grammar error on your shampoo bottle? Yep, happened to me this morning.
"Lively whipped bubbles along with a nourishing Botanical blend of Allantoin, Chamomile, Rosemary, Nettle and Nature's own gentle cleanser, Soapbark, adds incredible softness."
This is a classic subject-verb agreement problem. I wrote about this in one of my Writer's Digest articles, and Grammar Girl recently used my column on her podcast (http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/sentence-length.aspx). Here, the subject is "bubbles" and the verb is erroneously "adds." It should be "add" because "bubbles" is a plural subject. The copy writer made this error because there's a lot of what I call stuff in the way. All that stuff about herbs confused the writer. If you take all that away, you can easily tell there's an error: "Lively whipped bubbles adds incredible softness."
"Lively whipped bubbles along with a nourishing Botanical blend of Allantoin, Chamomile, Rosemary, Nettle and Nature's own gentle cleanser, Soapbark, adds incredible softness."
This is a classic subject-verb agreement problem. I wrote about this in one of my Writer's Digest articles, and Grammar Girl recently used my column on her podcast (http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/sentence-length.aspx). Here, the subject is "bubbles" and the verb is erroneously "adds." It should be "add" because "bubbles" is a plural subject. The copy writer made this error because there's a lot of what I call stuff in the way. All that stuff about herbs confused the writer. If you take all that away, you can easily tell there's an error: "Lively whipped bubbles adds incredible softness."
Friday, April 25, 2008
Criminal Sentence 4: Misplaced Prepositional Phrase
From a book I was reading last night. It was written by a bestselling author.
"He dialed the number at the hospital of Dr. X."
This sentence suggests that Dr. X owns the hospital. When you use a prepositional phrase (such as "of Dr. X"), be aware of what comes directly before it. In this sentence, "of Dr. X" belongs with "number," not "hospital." Both "at the hospital" and "of Dr. X" are describing "the number." Only one phrase can follow it, so you have to rearrange the sentence's elements somewhat. I suggest you write "He dialed Dr. X's number at the hospital."
P.S.
My husband says, "I read this as he dialed the hospital number where Dr. X works." Perhaps you could read it that way. In that case, you should aim for an even clearer sentence than what I suggested above. You don't want your sentence open to too many interpretations.
To eliminate any confusion, you could simply write "I called Dr. X at the hospital" (as opposed to "I called him at home").
"He dialed the number at the hospital of Dr. X."
This sentence suggests that Dr. X owns the hospital. When you use a prepositional phrase (such as "of Dr. X"), be aware of what comes directly before it. In this sentence, "of Dr. X" belongs with "number," not "hospital." Both "at the hospital" and "of Dr. X" are describing "the number." Only one phrase can follow it, so you have to rearrange the sentence's elements somewhat. I suggest you write "He dialed Dr. X's number at the hospital."
P.S.
My husband says, "I read this as he dialed the hospital number where Dr. X works." Perhaps you could read it that way. In that case, you should aim for an even clearer sentence than what I suggested above. You don't want your sentence open to too many interpretations.
To eliminate any confusion, you could simply write "I called Dr. X at the hospital" (as opposed to "I called him at home").
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Criminal Sentence 3: Nonsense in Print
I cut this sentence out of a magazine a few years back:
"Ron Smith, owner and chief instructor of the recognized school, said he believes his school was chosen because his program specializes in teaching personal devilment and life skills to children, teens and adults."
Most kids have a little devil in them already.
The moral of this story is you should always read what you've written before you send it off to the printer.
"Ron Smith, owner and chief instructor of the recognized school, said he believes his school was chosen because his program specializes in teaching personal devilment and life skills to children, teens and adults."
Most kids have a little devil in them already.
The moral of this story is you should always read what you've written before you send it off to the printer.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Criminal Sentence 2: It's vs. Its
"Due to the proximity of it's flamboyant sister city, London, Edinburgh often gets overshadowed."
"It's" is a contraction of "it is," whereas "its" is an adjective known as a possessive adjective. Possessive adjectives such as "hers" and "his" never use an apostrophe. It's easy to get them confused if you're not paying close attention.
Here's how to test if you're using "it's" and "its" correctly:
If you can substitute "it is" for your "it's" or "its," then "it's" is right! If not, then use"its."
"it's flamboyant sister": You can't write "it is flamboyant sister," so it should be "its."
Until you're sure you're using these two words correctly, I recommend doing the little test to check yourself whenever you see an "it's" or "its."
"It's" is a contraction of "it is," whereas "its" is an adjective known as a possessive adjective. Possessive adjectives such as "hers" and "his" never use an apostrophe. It's easy to get them confused if you're not paying close attention.
Here's how to test if you're using "it's" and "its" correctly:
If you can substitute "it is" for your "it's" or "its," then "it's" is right! If not, then use"its."
"it's flamboyant sister": You can't write "it is flamboyant sister," so it should be "its."
Until you're sure you're using these two words correctly, I recommend doing the little test to check yourself whenever you see an "it's" or "its."
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Proofreading Tips
- Get a writing buddy and check each other’s work.
- Before you call something finished, leave some time to let it sit. Then go back and reread it with a critical eye.
- Use a dictionary and Spell Check to make sure you’re using the right word and the right spelling. Don’t rely on Spell Check because it doesn’t catch word errors.
- Read your work aloud in a monotone so you read what is actually there, not what your brain expects.
- Become familiar with the kinds of mistakes you often make (its/it’s, etc.) and look out for them.
Criminal Sentence 1: Wrong Word
An error a day keeps a copy editor in business.
The first criminal sentence I'll present to you comes from an article about restaurants:
"From a dining perspective, the city has made strides to offer choices for more sophisticated pallets."
I think the writer meant "palates." I often see mistakes with these similarly spelled words: palate, palette and pallet. It's very easy to mess this up, so you just have to be aware that many words sound or look alike. Remember to proofread yourself before you consider something final. See my post on proofreading tips.
The first criminal sentence I'll present to you comes from an article about restaurants:
"From a dining perspective, the city has made strides to offer choices for more sophisticated pallets."
I think the writer meant "palates." I often see mistakes with these similarly spelled words: palate, palette and pallet. It's very easy to mess this up, so you just have to be aware that many words sound or look alike. Remember to proofread yourself before you consider something final. See my post on proofreading tips.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
What error bugs you most?
For me, a misplaced apostrophe makes my face red. I go ballistic when I see sock's for sale or "visitor's hours," as if there will be only one visitor.
Apostrophes are little things but they do make a difference. We mustn’t be so careless; we must make an effort. Apostrophes should be our friends and we should take care of them. We don’t want to leave them hanging where they don’t belong or leave them out when we should include them.
Apostrophes are little things but they do make a difference. We mustn’t be so careless; we must make an effort. Apostrophes should be our friends and we should take care of them. We don’t want to leave them hanging where they don’t belong or leave them out when we should include them.
Grammar Girl endorses Curious Case, now out in paperback!
Grammar Girl, a fellow grammarian and my friend, has endorsed my book! Here's what she says:
"A cute little grammar book that uses a solve-the-mystery format to make writing rules fun."
--Mignon Fogarty, host of the award-winning Grammar Girl podcast
Thanks, Mignon!!
"A cute little grammar book that uses a solve-the-mystery format to make writing rules fun."
--Mignon Fogarty, host of the award-winning Grammar Girl podcast
Thanks, Mignon!!
You can write better--right now!
Check out my writing guide, The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier: How to Solve the Mysteries of Weak Writing
Everyone makes mistakes, but everyone can learn to be a writing detective. You can become one, too, whether you’re a student or a professional. You don’t have to wade through pages and pages of dry grammar books to improve your writing. All you have to do is follow the clues.
This easy-to-use and friendly book will help you solve the seven mysteries of weak writing, including these cases:
- The Tantalizing Tale of Passive Voice
- The Peculiar Puzzle of the Vague -ing Word
- The Confusing Caper Concerning the Super-Long Sentence
The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier will teach you how to hunt down passive and wordy writing, replacing it with strong, specific and concise sentences. It’s time you follow up on these important leads. Your investigation will pay off in better writing in no time at all.
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