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Thursday, February 25, 2010

Criminal Sentence 349: Comma or Semicolon

From something I am editing:

"They have not only successfully blended their families; they are running a thriving business together."

This punctuation doesn't quite work. When you use a semicolon to join two related independent clauses, that means that each part must be able to stand alone. The sentence passes this test for the part after the semicolon: "They are running a thriving business together" could appear alone. However, "They have not only successfully blended their families" cannot. You should just use a comma instead:

"They have not only successfully blended their families, they are running a thriving business together."

Notice, however, that the "not only" part is out of alignment: they have not only ... they are (the "have" is in the wrong place). We'll fix it while we balance the second part with the "but also" part that goes with "not only":

"Not only have they successfully blended their families, but they are also running a thriving business together."

I do feel the "not only...but also" sentence structure is a bit wordy. If you agree, you could write this:

"They have successfully blended their families and are running a thriving business together."

4 comments:

Westley said...

I've had problems with "not only...but also" and have come to think of them as a set of parenthises; you can't have one without the other.

The Sentence Sleuth said...

I agree, except for that spelling of parentheses!

Actually, I feel that not only but also sometimes works well (it does have a decent rhythm), but other times it sounds wordy. I guess it depends on the situation.

Westley said...

Ah, yes...typos. No way to edit posts, so we're stuck with fumble-fingers.

Wordiness seems to be acceptable in formal writing, but I don't know many folks who actually talk like that.

Anonymous said...

I've noticed the British use a semi-colon like we Americans use a comma. Makes me re-read sentences a lot.