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Friday, February 19, 2010

Criminal Sentence 346: Confusing Outfit

From a book I am reading (about an outfit a king was wearing):

"He was dressed in a bright blue cloak and wearing a circlet of bronze on his head."

Although this is grammatically correct, it is not so clear. I felt that "wearing" was hanging there. You have to go back earlier in the sentence to get it to match up with "was," as in "was dressed ... and was wearing..." It would be better to repeat the "was" or change the verb:

1) "He was dressed in a bright blue cloak and was wearing a circlet of bronze on his head."
2) "He was dressed in a bright blue cloak and wore a circlet of bronze on his head."

Now those are a couple of kingly sentences.

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