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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Criminal Sentence 60: Another Faulty Comparison

From an article about homeowners' associations:

"But, unlike other states where associations may evict homeowners for a few dollars, Arizona associations cannot foreclose until the unpaid assessments have accumulated for more than one year or until the amount owed reaches $1,200, whichever occurs first."

The problem lies in the beginning of this sentence, where "other states" is compared to "Arizona associations."

Anyone want to try to make a correct comparison? (You don't have to continue the sentence past "foreclose" if you don't want to.)

5 comments:

Mahashakti Dasi said...

"But, unlike other states, where associations may evict homeowners for a few dollars, Arizona associations cannot foreclose until the unpaid assessments have accumulated for more than one year or until the amount owed reaches $1,200, whichever occurs first."

I could only think to put a comma after states,. . .

MShades said...

"But, unlike associations in other states, which may evict homeowners for a few dollars, Arizona associations cannot foreclose until the unpaid assessments have accumulated for more than one year or until the amount owed reaches $1,200, whichever occurs first."

The Sentence Sleuth said...

Mahashakti, that comma after where is much better, but the sentence still compares states and associations.
Mshades, yours compares associations and associations. Perfect!
Thanks for your contributions.

rpmason said...

But unlike associations in other states, which can evict homeowners for a few dollars, associations in Arizona cannot foreclose…

The Sentence Sleuth said...

rp, perfect!