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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Criminal Sentences 184 and 185: Definitely for Men Only

I don't usually pay attention to male-enhancement ads, but this one was in large letters and two enormous (no pun intended) mistakes lurked at the top. I am therefore interested in this ad, but only for its sentence-enhancement purposes:

Headline: "For Men: An Option When Viagra and Cialis Fails"
Subhead: "Once Seen As Miracle Pills, Many Now Scramble For Other Options"

Love the headline. Not. When a and b FAIL. (Subject-verb agreement problem)
Laughed out loud at the subhead: "Many (People)" were once seen as miracle pills?!! (misplaced modifier)
How would we rewrite the MM? "Once seen as miracle pills, V and C often fail, so many now scramble for other options" (initial caps not needed in a subhead usually)

For Writers, Male or Female: Please watch your subjects and verbs, and your subjects and modifiers!

1 comment:

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