Friday, June 12, 2009

Criminal Sentence 230: A Bad Start

The first sentence of a book I finished yesterday:

"The day that Ryan Evans's world changed forever began as any other day he'd spent in the hot desert might have begun."

This is not an auspicious way to begin a book. Way too wordy and dull. I had a bad feeling about this book because of this sentence, and it proved true that it wasn't written very well.

A first sentence should grab a reader, but this grabbed me the wrong way.

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