Thursday, July 5, 2012

Criminal Sentence 625: Heard It All Before

From a book I just finished:

"My breath hitches."

There isn't actually anything wrong with this. My complaint is that this sentence appeared every few pages (the woman was quite breathless throughout the book because she was in lust).

I kept noticing this sentence, and it started to bug me. My advice here is to vary what you say so that readers notice your story, not your vocabulary.