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Add Your Own Criminal Sentence!

If you find a particularly terrible sentence somewhere, post it for all to see (go here and put it in the Comments section).

Monday, December 19, 2011

Poll Results 163

Here was the question:

What's wrong here? "At five fifty one of the kitchen guys reported for work."

The time should be spelled out.
5 (10%)
The grammar is incorrect.
4 (8%)
A punctuation mark might be necessary.
35 (74%)
Nothing is wrong.
3 (6%)

I agree with 74% of you. The sentence is not incorrect, but it could be confusing. I would add a comma:

"At five fifty, one of the kitchen guys reported for work."

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Reader Question: Marc and Jennifer

A question from Stephanie:

This one from Us Magazine online has me puzzled.

Marc Anthony
is up in arms that his ex Jennifer Lopez has moved on since their July split with a much younger man.

Read more: http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/marc-anthony-throws-tantrum-over-jennifer-lopezs-new-beau-20111412#ixzz1gXBPb8OQ

What's the best place for "since their July split"?

Marc Anthony is up in arms that, since their July split, his ex Jennifer Lopez has moved on with a much younger man.

or maybe

Marc Anthony is up in arms that his ex Jennifer Lopez has moved on with a much younger man.

Do Marc and Jennifer deserve this much sentence parsing?

I know the answer. You?

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Criminal Sentence 619: Blemished Sentence

From the school lunch menu:

"Choose clementine's with a uniform orange color, shinny skin, with no blemishes or wrinkles."

First, no apostrophe needed in the plural noun.

Second, I've never heard of "shinny skin"!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Poll Results 162

Here was the question:

Is anything wrong with this sentence? "The district offers many choices in education and welcome open enrollment students from another Mesa school or another district."

Yes
57 (96%)
No
2 (3%)

Guess that was too easy ("welcome" should be "welcomes").

I'm just peeved that the school doesn't proofread all its communications! This month's lunch menu makes me crazy with its explanation of how "clementine's" are nutritious and "clementine's" are yummy. Four cases of "clementine's"!!! Arg!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Interesting Ambiguous Sentence

From today's paper (in a column that answers random questions):

Q: "There was an article in Friday's paper about jaguars in Arizona. The 10th paragraph begins 'The newly spotted cats...' My impression was that jaguars were permanently spotted. Do they develop new spots as the winter hair grows in?"

The answer explained that the writer meant that the cats had been recently seen, not that their spots developed.

Did any of you misread the sentence?

Monday, December 5, 2011

Poll Results 161

Here was the question:

What's wrong here? "Once shipped, a customer will have to wait up to 14 days for the gift card to arrive in the mail."

The number should be spelled out.
4 (5%)
The sentence is wordy.
10 (13%)
The grammar is incorrect.
50 (65%)
The sentence is just fine.
12 (15%)

Congratulations to 65%! A customer--I hope!--doesn't get shipped. This is called a misplaced modifier. Here's a less humorous version of the sentence:

"Once the gift card is shipped, a customer will have to wait up to 14 days for it to arrive in the mail."

Friday, December 2, 2011

Criminal Sentence 618: Ordnance

From an otherwise excellent book I'm reading ("The Killer of Little Shepherds," a look into the birth of forensics in 19th-century France):

"Certain ordnances, such as those against illegal harvesting or poaching, did not earn respect."

"Ordnance" means military weapons; "ordinance" means laws.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Criminal Sentence 617: Agreement Has Changed

From a Web site:

"Maybe some adjustments are in order, especially if your income or expenses has changed."

When you have an "or," you need to make the verb agree with the noun closest: "expenses have changed."