Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Criminal Sentence 556: Why Deny Correct Punctuation?

From a book I'm reading:

"It was that secretive quality that drew her to him in the first place, why deny it?"

This is an example of two sentences smushed into one.

Sentence 1: "It was that secretive quality that drew her to him in the first place."
Sentence 2: "Why deny it?"

You can't just put a comma wherever you want, there are things called periods, they separate sentences. (Ooh, that was painful--using incorrect punctuation!!)
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3 comments:

  1. DestinyMay 17, 2011 at 1:20 PM

    I suggest these three rewrites: It was that secretive quality that drew her to him in the first place. Why deny it?

    or

    It was that secretive quality that drew her to him in the first place - why deny it?

    or

    It was that secretive quality that drew her to him in the first place: why deny it?

    Am I right?

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Sentence SleuthMay 17, 2011 at 1:23 PM

    I like the em dash the best (your second), but all are better than a comma!

    ReplyDelete
  3. DestinyMay 18, 2011 at 2:06 PM

    Merci.

    ReplyDelete

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