From something I edited recently:
"At the top [of the trail] you'll want to stop for a drink, some snacks, and to take in the incredible view."
Sounds like a lovely hike, but it's not a parallel sentence. I did a double take near the end of the sentence because unparallel sentences throw the reader off. These are the elements that need to be parallel but aren't:
to stop for a drink
some snacks
to take in the incredible view
So we need to use three "to + verb" constructions (infinitives) or some other parallel format. I pick infinitives.
"At the top [of the trail] you'll want to stop for a drink and some snacks, and to take in the incredible view."
Now this is an incredible sentence to go along with the view.
Couldn't you also make the parallelism happen at the object-of-the-preposition level?
ReplyDeleteto stop for
- a drink
- some snacks
- the incredible view
"At the top [of the trail] you'll want to stop for a drink, some snacks, and the incredible view."
Yes, that sounds right, too. You could also "have a drink, eat a snack, and take in the incredible view."
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